"hahaha my definition of a hot guy probably doesnt even exist lmao"

Hahaha, I started cracking up after I said that ^^^ ;D Ohhh, good day today. My days seem to end well. Like even if the day kinda sucked, my night turns it around. Sometimes it's the other way, but it's better this way haha. Having best friends changes a lot of things. You realize who you can trust more. Who you can tell things to. Who you can count on. Just everything. I screwed up BIG time today. So for the get together I was gonna message Debora, but instead I replied to the wrong message. I ended up replying to a MASS message, which I couldn't delete and ruined the surprise for Aileen -__- That was a HUGE fail >.> Gahh, well I should still get her something for her birthday. Also, Angelica's birthday is coming up too. I can't wait :D I feel like I'm loved too much. Sounds wack huh? I mean who thinks that? Haha, well me for some reason. I don't know. Like my family was just talking about how fast gas is gone. On Monday, my dad went to get some gas for the car, and now he has to go again tomorrow. Then, my mom was saying after Friday and Saturday, my dad will have to go again since my sister and I are going to so many places this weekend. Then, that led to a lecture from both my parents on how we should both focus more on school because we'll have to pay back all they have done for us once we grow up. My dad was mainly referring to paying him back money wise. Haha, but yeah. I realized how much they really love me. I feel like I don't deserve it all. I feel like I'm disappointing them everytime I don't do as well as they want me to. I feel like I let them down. I feel bad. I feel really bad right now. There's just a lot running through my mind. Today, when I came home, I did no homework. Example one right there. I can't even work on homework like I want to. But I made a resolution at the beginning of the year for myself and that is to be more productive. And in reality, I have been way more productive than before. At school mainly, but it's something, right? For some reason, it's easier for me to work on homework and what not at school. Like at home, I feel like it should be spent more on something I want to do rather than it being school related. I think I need more time for myself. But overall, my parents do love me unconditionally. I just don't notice it all the time. I always thought love meant saying 'I love you.' Boy am I wrong. My parents have not once told me those three words. They only show it and express it towards me. I've been looking at the wrong thing for the longest time. Sometimes I  wish I realized this sooner, but knowing it over the past few years, makes up for it. Love is not just a word. It's a feeling. It's something that should be given unconditionally. It's expressed through actions. Love has no restrictions. It's just that people hold back the feeling. I don't say 'I love you' a lot because what does it really prove. I don't like it when people just say it randomly. To me, that's just being silly. Say it when you actually mean it. Love is a word with a whole lot of meaning. It should be proved with actions and emotions, and not just said at any given time you like. So, that is why I don't take the saying 'I love you' as lightly as other people do. I may not have been use to hearing it while I was growing up, but when I do say it, I genuinely mean it. So, with that said, try not to take the word so lightly, if you do. There's a lot more to it than it just being three words. The phrase 'I love you' should be given much more thought from people. For it has changed the lives of so many already. Good night world & tell the ones you truly love just how you feel :]

"This world keeps spinning faster into a new disaster so I run to you I run to you baby."

I Run To You~Lady Antebellum  I love this song so much <333

*The rain sounds nice tonight. Well it is 11:59 at the moment ;D