You never really know someone.

I was scrolling through my news feed when I came across a post from someone I knew in middle school. I talked to him every now and then with the occasional hi. We were friends I guess you could say, but we didn't really talk much. He was a nice guy, but he was picked on by other classmates. I never got to know him very well, but I knew enough by seeing him at school and talking to him every now and then. So this post was about his older sister who passed away when she was 7 months old. It broke my heart reading that post because I never knew that about him. I mean, it's not something people would bring up, but it made me realize that you will never truly know someone. There's just so much about a person that you will never know their life story. I know it's hard to know every detail about someone, but something like that really opens your eyes. It makes me sad to know he was bullied when he has gone through so much. This also makes me rethink my life and choices that I've made. Life is so precious and I need to remember that. It can be take away from you in an instant and we tend to forget that. No one wants to think about something as tragic as that, but you can't help it sometimes. We have to enjoy life as best as we can before it's too late. I wish I could tell myself to stop worrying and just enjoy everything, but I don't think about it. As stated in the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift, she says, "Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now." I always wish I could go back in time and change things after learning from my mistakes, but that's part of life. We make mistakes and we learn from them. We all wish we could turn back the clock sometimes, but we have to accept the fact that the past is the past. We must move on and go on with our lives. So I'm telling myself this before it's too late. "Live in the present and enjoy what life has to offer. Take chances and believe in yourself. Think smart and face any consequences head strong. Don't regret any decisions because it brought you to where you are today. Forgive people for hurting you and remember that everyone makes mistakes. Don't make decisions when you're in a bad mood or aren't thinking straight. Accept yourself for who you are and never lose hope. Work hard for what you want because someday you will be successful. But most importantly, love the people who have been there for you with all your heart."

Merry Christmas!

Today was such a fun day with the family. I played cards, Monopoly, and Battleship, watched television, ate delicious food, watched the adults play Mahjong, watched my grandparents open their gifts (and they loved them :D), and celebrated it with the people I cared most about. I got gifts too, but that's not what today is about (but I love them all). I'm thankful to spend the day with the people I love. I can't wait for Friday as well and then this weekend. Great things are coming my way and I'm excited. I should really start practicing for the play too. Well it's late and I must sleep. My sister really wanted to watch a movie so that is why I'm up so late. Once again, I can't sleep before 12AM. I'll try again tomorrow which I will probably say tomorrow. Good night world :]

P.S. I know sometimes my tempers flare up and I go on rage mode, but I usually take it all back afterwards. In the end, I love and care for those people a lot. Even though at times I hate them, I always forgive them. That's just the kind of person I am, but I can't help it. I can't always be happy you know.

Resolutions.

2012 Resolutions

1. Work out/eat veggies

2. Be more productive/better study habits

3. Drop my bad habits & instead: grow out nails, stop shaking my leg, and don't be online and spend time with family

So I am happy to say that I did most of these! I ate a lot more veggies than usual, but didn't work out. I have been more productive and studied harder, but I could've done better. I also stopped shaking my leg, my nails are starting to grow now, and I feel closer to my family. I have to say, I didn't fail for once. I at least attempted to do all of these except working out, unless that hill counts at SLO. Since I didn't fulfill all of these, my 2013 resolutions will be the same. I will try a lot harder now this coming year. 

2013 Resolutions

1. Work out/eat veggies

2. Be more productive/better study habits

3. Drop my bad habits & instead: grow out nails and don't be online as much

4. Get my license

5. Let go of stupid things and be happy.

This Christmas.

Dear Santa,

Every year I usually wish for the same thing, but not this year. I honestly don't care if I find that special someone yet. All I want is happiness and good health to my family and friends. People don't deserve to suffer. I really don't know what else I could ask for because nothing is more important than happiness in health. Money doesn't buy either of those. I mean it can to some, but not everyone. Other than that, I hope the next year is a good one. Thank you! :]

Love,

Amy :]

Snow-filled weekend.

This past weekend I went to Tahoe with the family. On the way there, it was pouring since a storm was going to be there the whole weekend. Eventually it changed to snow which was very nice. I enjoyed the whole car ride, except it took 4 hours... That's like going to SLO. It felt a lot shorter, but we had to put chains on when we got to the mountains. We hung out at the cabin the entire day. We played outside and wandered around. It was windy every now and then so snow would fall everywhere out of no where. We played card games and watched like 5 movies on FX. The next day we left early in the morning and ate in Elk Grove before going back home. The food was amazing! Overall, it was a nice weekend even though I wish I could've done more. Still was better than nothing at all! Plus I drew faces on the car ;D

The perks.

I really love having friends outside of school. They don't know many people from my old school so it's easy to tell them anything without them judging. All they do is give advice and listen to what I have to say. On the car ride home from Sierra's, Jennifer and I were talking about life and then boy troubles. Once I talk to someone about it, that's when I realize what I've been feeling. I have been hurting lately and I didn't know until I told her. It's good to have those heart to heart conversations every now and then because I really do need it. I just want someone to listen and understand no matter what the situation is. It is better that they don't know who the person is so I can be straightforward without being hesitant. If they knew the person, it may be easier for them to give me even more advice, but I honestly rather have them not know for now. With everything that has happened over these years, it may be easier for me for them not to know. So thank goodness for friends who don't know everyone you do. It truly makes me more willing to talk and express myself. Thanks for listening to me Jennifer. It really did mean a lot to me that night to realize all those feelings inside of me.

Random.

So when I went to see Wreck It Ralph with my friends, right when the title of the movie popped up, Kevin yelled "woohoo" so loud and put his fists in the air. It was so funny that I couldn't stop laughing for the longest amount of time. I had to force myself to stop after a few minutes because it was so random hearing that coming from Kevin. I was shocked/amazed at first because Kevin wouldn't usually do something like that, but he has seen the movie 3 times by now. Man I still can't get over how funny it was.

Let it snow.

I must sleep so this will be a quick post. Had such a great time today with Sierra, Carey, Maryann, Jennifer and Ashleigh. Man I sure love these girls! We pigged out like crazy, watched movies and tv, played cards, talked about everything, and laughed at stupid stuff. This is the life lol. I just love spending time with a small group of friends. There's always something to talk about between the awkward silences that come and go. Also, Happy Early Birthday to Devora and Carey! I won't be on tomorrow, but I'll try my best in the morning to tell them if I can. If not, I already told them today xD I'm going to the snow for the next two days so I can't blog. Be prepared for tons of photos and I'm sure even more silly stories. I can't wait but I really must sleep now. Good night world & have a great weekend :]

Note to self.

Sometimes happiness comes from within and not from someone else.

Blogging.

Thank you for being there when no one else could. I feel like blogging has definitely changed me as a person. I get to express my feelings and it makes me feel so much better. It's my diary that I could never write onto paper. The feelings I hide that I hope some people won't ever find out. The best times of my life that I want to remember and look back at years from now. This blog is basically my life. It has become a part of me. 10 more days and it'll be exactly 2 years that I've had this blog. Time sure flies by doesn't it? But it's been a great 2 years. Through all the good and bad times, this blog could never judge me like someone else would have. I've done some wonderful and foolish things, but that is how I learned in this life. I know that I can't and won't remember everything, but blogging has changed that. I try so hard to blog every day about anything and everything. Even the most randomest things as you can probably tell from some of my posts. I hope someday I can reread every single post. I want to laugh at how stupid I was, appreciate the wonderful moments and people I've encountered, but most importantly, notice how much I've grown as a person. This blog is a part of my childhood as I mature into an adult. I honestly can't say I'm an adult even if I am of age because I sure don't feel like it yet. I hope that 10, 20, or even 50 years from now that I'm still using this blog. I know that's a lot of time, but who knows. Maybe someday my future husband (if I get married) will read this or my great great grandchildren (not sure about this either aha). I really don't know what the future has in stored for me, but all I know is, this blog has been through it all. I know that there will be more posts, random things, heartbreaks, drama, stress, and much more, but I'm content right now. Even though 10 minutes ago I expressed my anger like crazy, but deep down, I know this is only the beginning of the craziness that I will experience in life. I'm young and I hope there's many more years to come for me to experience more things. Life has a lot to offer each and every one of us. It's just a matter of fact if we're willing to take a risk and live a little. And with that, blogging will capture every moment, thought, and feeling I will go through that I can possibly remember. Blogging is a way of life. My life. I haven't been this happy in so long. Blogging really turns my day around when I need it the most. Good night world & thanks for reading all this :]

Yeah :)

I went to the optometrist today and the optometrist I had was so good looking xD Not even kidding aha. Also went to the dentist and my teeth are good too. Still not getting my wisdom teeth out yet. I don't even think they're fully grown. Going to spend tomorrow with some of the greatest girls I'll ever know. I just can't wait for it all! It's been 3 months since we've all seen each other and I'm way too excited. Hopefully in 14 hours, we'll all be pigging out watching movies all day. Now that is what I want to do. 

Hah.

The cat is out of the bag isn't it?

I see how it is.

It's funny how every time I go out of my way to help you, you never seem to thank me. A little courtesy would be nice after everything that I do for you. I feel like you don't even care. What I do benefits you in the long run. I dropped the class so you could be higher on the waitlist and I let you know that a new physics class was up so you could add it. And what do I get from you? Nothing. I don't get a thank you or anything like that. I get a "yes, drop it and i'll be one higher on the list." Like really? That is all you care about? This really shows your true colors. I shouldn't have bothered in the first place like my sister said, but then I would feel bad. Gah. I hope something good happens for me because people like you make me wish that I wasn't so nice sometimes. After everything I do, I feel like I never get anything in return. It's always been a competition for you to beat me. Why is that?

Pathetic.

Why do you have to lie to my face like that? I know the truth so why bother doing this. You're so low. I can't believe you. Honestly I thought you were better than that.

"I miss you."

When someone tells me those words, I feel overjoyed inside. It makes me happy to know that someone wants to hang out or see me. They miss having me around (I would think), and I usually feel the same as well. When you haven't seen the people you care about for so long, you can't help but feel that way. I have missed my friends so much these past few months which is why all I want to do is spend time with them. It's so hard for all of us to see one another due to our schedules. They may not understand why I want to see them so much, but it's hard to be away from each other for so long. These people that I've spent 3, 4, or even more years with that I can't see every day or once a month anymore. I miss having them around and spending 7-9  hours a day together. Yes that is a lot of time, but once it's over and done with, that's when you realize all that time went by too fast and it still didn't feel like enough time. I will appreciate every second and moment that I get to spend with my family and friends. I'll enjoy all the time that I get because I know that whatever amount of time I get is better than none at all. I love you all so much. Good night world & cherish the people in your life :]

Yee.

Making someone's day makes me so happy. I feel like I did something right even if everything else around me is wrong. At least some people cherish the little things I do for them. Sometimes I feel like they go unnoticed too often and it saddens me. I try so hard, but don't get any credit for it. But not today, one of the few occasions that I feel good about what I did. It's been a great day. Plus this is my 1111th post :]

A thought.

I wish you would realize that I'm always there for you. I've done so much and I feel like it doesn't even matter at all. Just like When It Counts, I feel like Tammy. The nice girl who doesn't get noticed.

Winter Break To Do List.

✓ -Visit Delta

✓ -Go to the movies

✓ -Hangout at Sierra's

✓ -Go to the snow

✓ -Movie day with the girls?

✓ -White Elephant

✓ -Dellosso Farms

✓ -Spend the night at my cousins house

   -See my penpals

✓ -Order Winter Quarter textbooks

✓ -Make a swan

✓ -Make a penguin

✓ -Finish my white elephant gift

✓ -Make/buy/wrap gifts for friends/family

✓ -Watch movies

   -Practice script
   -Read books

   -Fill out FAFSA
Last updated 12/24/12.
1/2/13. I know I won't see either of my penpals and I can't fill out my FAFSA yet. I don't know if the movie day with the girls is going to happen either. My last week here.
1/3/13. So I ended up sort of watching a movie with the girls. We had Bridesmaids playing in the background as we played The Game of Things. Such a great day!

That quality.

Every person is born with a gift and they should cherish it. We all have something special about us and we have to find it and use it to its full potential. We are all meant to be something great.

Reality hit me in the face.

Next quarter is going to be different. Way different. I didn't think that I would ever feel this terrible inside but I do. I can't lose my grants. I have to work harder. Much harder. No slacking anymore. This is the real world and second chances are rare.

Well well well.

I sleep so late these days because no one tells me otherwise. Well they do, but like I'd listen. I really need to sleep before 12 or my sleep schedule is going to be screwed all over again like usual. Having an 8:00AM class next quarter means I'll be sleeping at 10:00PM. Fun... Way better than 9:00PM I must admit. I should make that schedule once I'm back too. 

There's no point in lying to you so why keep your hopes up? You're only setting yourself up for disappointment. We all go through it, but I don't know why you keep on trying like it's going to change things because it won't. Things won't ever be the way they once were and you should know that. 

I don't know why I care so much again. You're someone I call a friend and you mean a lot to me. But every time I see you, things are different. It's like something changes right before my eyes. Something even I don't know how to explain and I can't stop thinking about you. But, I don't want to like someone right now. Not yet. I feel like I need to find myself and what I want in this life before my feelings take over again. I need to explore more and figure out who I am without having to deal with my feelings. I want to enjoy everything life has to offer. If I find someone along the way, then great. If not, I won't force anything because whats meant to be will happen. But I have to say, I enjoy every moment we talk, every laugh over stupid things, and every competition that doesn't seem to end. No matter how far apart we may drift, something always manages to bring us back together. That is what I love about our friendship. I'm really glad you're a part of my life. I hope you know that.

Another long post about my feelings. Just making up lost posts lol.

Good night world & enjoy your day :]

And I wonder...

How can someone be so flawless?

His laugh.

We were laughing for about half an hour and his laugh just popped up into my head...

A lesson.

The real world can be a very cruel place. It's not all fun and games as you get older. As a child you hope to grow up faster, but once you're older, all you wish is to be a kid again. This world is tough and sometimes too much for people. However, you have to overcome those obstacles over and over again. Pick yourself back up and try even harder. No one seems to care anymore but that's when you have to believe in yourself.

Oh yes.

Today I visited my old school and Davis with James. It was nice seeing my old teachers, friends, and other people. I had a great time since it's been so long already. It was great catching up even if it was only like 5 minutes, but it's way better than nothing at all. I spent over 2 hours there trying to find people and what not. It sure took a while too, but I think it was worth it. I saw Wesley and he said, "Oh I gotta hug Amy first" and I just laughed. Mrs. Solari told me to speak in front of her class. Then I had to wait for my communication teacher to come back from a meeting, and after waiting half an hour, I was going to leave. I was outside in the cold for too long, but he was in his office and I didn't even notice him going in. Later I went to Davis to go visit Kevin, Jay, Gabe, Jenny, Dalia, and Aman. We ended up missing an exit to switch freeways so we went through Downtown Sacramento and it was so nice! I loved all the different buildings. Then at Davis we got lost pretty bad and he drove in the wrong lane and a car honked at him. I was wondering why he was on the wrong side, but it was fun. Things still feel the same when I hang out with my friends. It's like I know we all go to different colleges, but no one has truly changed in a way. It was nice experiencing a different campus after adjusting to mines. I really did enjoy eating out and the environment because it's different from SLO. I had a lot of fun and hopefully I can go back another time or even visit another school. I guess we'll see what happens. I freaked out cause I was home late and felt so much guilt, but I don't feel like I made a wrong decision in going. I'm fine and nothing happened (thank goodness) and I got to spend time with my friends. The next thing I'm looking forward to is the 28th. Now that should be a blast too :D Oh man I can't wait. It was a day well spent for sure. I even got to see Glee before it's back on in another month. Good night world & my fingers are getting better! :]

"But now I've seen it through And now I know the truth That anything could happen Anything could happen."

Anything Could Happen~Ellie Goulding

So today was a chill day. Relaxed at home and didn't even do much xD I'm so lazy but I still try. Looking forward to seeing my teachers tomorrow. I'm hoping nothing goes wrong. I know I'm not doing something right, but I want to take a risk every now and then, and hopefully it doesn't bite me back. And if it does, I hope it doesn't bite me back tomorrow at least. I guess we'll see, but I want a stress free day. After everything that's been going on that's all I want. I feel like I deserve it. Only time will tell now. As the song says "anything could happen" and I hope that's a good sign. Wow I just fixed the problem with my blogger. Before I had to copy the codes and I realized I accidentally set it to HTML instead of Customize. Well good thing I noticed sooner than later. Good night world & have a great day tomorrow :]

Actions speak louder than words.

That moment when you realize that you were the bad person. How do you mend things? How do you gain their trust again? You try. You try to fix things and hope that they accept you back as their friend. I realized that you called me your best friend after knowing me for like 2 days. I'm sorry because I know I hurt you. I know saying sorry means nothing unless you prove that you mean it. I'll prove it to you that I genuinely mean it. I want to make things right and it took me this long to realize it. I'm going to make an effort next time because you were a great friend while I wasn't. Thank you Jay for making me realize something I lost. Myself. 

Yes indeed.

I just realized how vulnerable college made me feel at first. I was so open to things that I didn't necessarily realize what was going on half the time. First I felt one way, but now I look back and have different emotions. You don't realize what you're doing to someone until it is in the past. Now I wish I made different choices. 

I mean it this time.

It's funny how easy it is you can trust someone. Then next thing you know they stab you in the back. This is why I can't trust people anymore. Never forget your first opinion of someone because sometimes you are right from the start. I shouldn't have bothered. It was just a waste of my time. I could care less about you. 

The pain doesn't stop.

I cut my finger really bad Friday while working on Tina's gift. I'm not even going to bother with the rest. I literally can't even shower. I love my mom so much because of everything she has done for me. She truly doesn't even know how much I owe her. I had glass in my index finger which I didn't know until today. I told myself if I still feel pain, then my mom will look at it, and turns out it was the glass I was picking up... I pray my thumb doesn't hurt, or any of my other cuts. I don't mind the other cuts too much, but my thumb looks so gross and would hurt a lot to see if there's glass. Sigh, stuff like this always has to happen to me. I know bad things happen to people every now and then, but I'm trying to do good and stuff like this happens. Life really isn't fair sometimes and it sucks. I mean I rather have this happen to me than someone who doesn't deserve it, but it doesn't mean I do either. I'm sorry if I did something wrong, but things happen I guess. Nothing I can do to change it which sucks a lot. On a brighter note, I'm addicted to making stuff on Minecraft, the glass on my right finger is out, I got to see more of my family, gifts are almost done (and will be done if my finger doesn't hurt tomorrow), finale for Amazing Race is up, a textbook I need for next quarter is cheap, and I got Act 1 of the play I'm doing. I really hope January isn't a busy month so I have time to focus on the play. I know that school should be before anything, but the play can be my stress reliever. Great, there was some pain in my right finger... That is not a good sign. Well hopefully I can visit either this Thursday or Friday. I'll try to blog more now that I have a lot of time at home. 4 weeks with no homework, thank goodness! I really do need this break after the first quarter >.< Well I sure hope your luck is better than mine! I need a good luck charm or something. Good night world & have a great week! :] 

Sigh.

Lately you seem to be really negative and I don't know why. I get your viewpoint, but it's happening every time I state something and it's getting depressing. You're a different person now. All I want is someone to listen, but you comment on every little thing.

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel now?

My music player is broken and I tried to fix it like before, but it didn't work. Now I'm so sad cause it's the one thing that helps me sleep at night. Ahhh what am I going to do now D: Why do I break everything :((( I got a B in BRAE and a B+ in English. I'm wondering how I did in CE and Calculus. Hopefully I passed both classes, but neither class will count towards my GPA. I guess I'll see how this goes in a few weeks... 

11:11

I wish for the best tomorrow.

Sigh.

9 hours of studying on Monday is all my poor brain can take. As of now, I'm trying to study for Calculus and I can't focus for some reason. I study for a little and get sidetracked. Plus I feel like I'm going to knock out any moment. All the bad things the day before my final. The one class I'm doing really bad in. Lovely. *Flips table* That is my rage thing to do now. The GIF is funny too. Plus it works on this site!

Hopefully.

There's a chance I might go to Davis and I hope it happens! It'd be nice to visit even if one person is there lol. At least it isn't packed during finals week.

My birthday.

Since I didn't have time to celebrate today, I celebrated yesterday. Keri and I went to see Wreck It Ralph and ate at Marie Callender's in Pismo Beach. It was such an amazing view there! Plus it stopped raining. I came back and watched Iron Man 2, Elf, and Inception. Today on the other hand, I've been studying all day which sucks. I only wanted to spend time with family and friends, and well I can't. So sad :( At least next year, my birthday will be during Dead Week rather than finals. Still this weekend was better than nothing at all. Good luck to everyone with finals this week! And now I sit here and eat my chocolate creme pie too lazy to study again.

It's December!

Another year flies by and I can't believe tomorrow is the big day. Well I can't wait to see Wreck it Ralph and go to Marie Callendar's. I'm looking forward to it so much. I just want to enjoy my "birthday" even though it's not. Why couldn't my birthday be today instead. Either way, I'll enjoy it as much as I can. Thanks to Keri for being such a great roommate and trying to make today special. I can't wait! :D

Turn around of events.

Well today went so well :D I'm beyond happy! Not only did I do alright on my english presentation, I also got the part as Sara for the play! I was like yeeeeee. I guess being short does come in handy xD Still, I can't believe it. Also our bridge held 18 pounds which is quite an accomplishment. I heard some people could barely hold the bucket up which sucks. I'm proud cause all the hard work and late nights definitely paid off. I got to see most of Glee which was great, except the ending sucked. Can't wait for the next episode. After tomorrow, I'll be done with half of my classes! I can't believe how fast this quarter has gone by. I only have two finals next week on Monday and Wednesday, and I'll be home by Thursday. Now I'm listening to Fall For You~Secondhand Serenade and other various songs while trying to finish up my last assignment for the quarter. It sure brings back some great times. Always remember that good things will come your way sooner or later. I went from having a bad day yesterday to a great one today. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just stay positive! :]

FML.

I. hate. myself. right. now. I just took my BRAE Lab final and it was all going well until I wrote down the averages of the distances and then bam, there was no box. I can't believe I didn't realize that it went in the MIDDLE of A and B. Now I feel so stupid that I did something we NEVER did in class. UGH RAGEEEEEE. I'm going to be pissed for the rest of the day. FML why does this always happen to me. Plus I forgot one word like usual. QUICK release adapter. How can I forget that. I put grip release adapter. Yup... Nothing ever goes right for me.

New things.

Everyone says college is the time to explore new things and find out who you are. Well I'm going to try out for a club play and who knows maybe I'll get the part I want. Even if I don't, a small role is better than nothing. Time to be more out there. That's something I need to work on but I'm trying. I really am.

The light at the end of the tunnel.

I am in control of my own life and that's something I shouldn't forget.

Not this time.

I won't let things bring me down, not anymore. All I want is some space. Is that too much to ask for? Oh right, I'm far away :) Freedom has its many perks. Time to enjoy these next 2 weeks despite it being dead week and finals week. No one is going to stop me from enjoying myself, not even finals. It's MY time and I'm going to spend it well. No more problems will be in my way because I will overcome any obstacles. I will be the better person. That's how you become a stronger person. That's how you move on. Good night world & have a great week :]

*This emotion inside me is just crazy. It clicked out of no where and it's wonderful. I haven't felt this happy or satisfied with life in so long. I'm putting my troubles behind me and moving on. A different viewpoint on life can change the way you see things in an instant. You just got to find it and I'm glad I finally did. This is what I needed.

"I've had enough..."

I know how he feels cause I feel like that too. They say you're never alone, but it sure does feel like it sometimes, it sure does.

Oh man.

I missed my family so much but I can't wait to see them in two weeks. I hecka forgot my birthday was already this Sunday. Time flies by so fast now. Finally going to be 18 now. It's so weird haha. 2 more weeks and it'll be home sweet home once again :D

"And I know it's long gone And that magic's not here no more And I might be okay But I'm not fine at all."

All Too Well~Taylor Swift

I knew it was too good to be true. Why is it so hard to move on and forget you? Oh right, because of everything that has happened over the past 2 years that's why. I didn't think I could relate to this song this much after hearing it hundreds of times already. Things really do change in a blink of an eye. I rather relive all the awkwardness than face the distance between us now. I guess I'm just really disappointed that it had to be you of all people. Why did it have to be you?

Yee.

Two more days and I'll be close to home! The last thing to do is my calculus midterm and I can finally relax until I come back for dead week. It doesn't sound great, but it is better than nothing for sure. Family and home cooked meals for the win :D

Cry me a river.

All tickets are sold out :( So saddddddd.

It was all a lie wasn't it?

It's funny how months ago, I was scared to leave for college. Not because I didn't know what would happen, but I was nervous about leaving everything I love behind. All my friends were heading off into different directions and I learned to accept that. But the one friendship I thought that wouldn't change, is the one that did. I'm thinking back about all the times we said we would talk all the time and stuff like that. I will admit that we were close, but now you don't seem to bother. I feel like everything you said was a lie because we're drifting apart. You're forgetting about me and it's sad to know that. If you can't make time for your friends, what kind of friendship is that? I thought college was the time for you to stay closer with your friends, but I guess I was wrong.

Good times.

Talking to you like this right now makes me wish so much that I could just go back and change things. We're good friends and I'm thankful for that, but I just wish I didn't hold back so much. The future still has a lot in stored and I hope that I get over what happened before.

Odd.

Things have definitely changed over the past 2 months. You're keeping your distance from me and I don't know why. It's weird not seeing you that much nowadays.

Weird.

For some odd random reason last night, I was thinking about my first date. It'll probably be a very long time from now, but I'm really looking forward to it (which is kind of sad, to me anyways). So yeah, that's it xD

Time changes everything.

When you wish you could just go back to the old times when things were different and better. There are some things I wish that would never change.

Awww.

I just watched the Bubzbeauty video of her and her fiance doing this photoshoot in South Korea and it was so cute! I can't get over it right now! It was too adorable. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzVz47FoYEc

:(

I'm so sad that I can go to the Red Tour cause it's too expensive for all of us. Now I'm going to save up for the next tour which probably won't happen until 2014, but I'm still so disappointed :(

Time flies.

So tomorrow Mary is coming to visit for the weekend and I'm so excited! It's been too long since I've seen any of my friends so this is perfect. However, I should be worrying about my math quiz first. Anyways, I can't wait for tomorrow and  I'm going to burst of happiness. Good night world & have a great holiday weekend :]

P.S. One of my friends have been in search of "THE DONUT" for over 6 months, 2 days, 13 hours, and 55 seconds (It's longer now) and I found it online at SLODOCO! I can't believe this. I'm so happy for her lol.

Oh my, look at those blue eyes.

Well there's this guy and I can't stop looking at his eyes. They're very blue and it's so hard not to look at them. When I talk to him, I just look straight into his eyes. They are unbelievable. [I sound like I was hypnotized by them xD]

Another blog.

So I made a blog for my 112 bucket list so I don't overflow this blog with many posts, not like I post a lot anyways, but I decided why not. Here's the link and I can't wait for the next thing I accomplish from the list. http://the112bucketlist.blogspot.com/

Time flies.

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted on this. It hasn't felt like it's been that long. Well I'll blog away now. So yesterday I found out who my Big was and her name is Tiffany. I have a twin and his name was Marek. I also got to meet my grandbig who is Monica. It was nice meeting some people from my family. I got put into the Ridiculously ridiculously ridiculously good looking family (on the inside). It goes something like that haha. I don't remember cause it's so long. But anyways, after playing all these games like popping balloons off someone's ankle and being blindfolded walking through campus, we finally get back to the room and guess what? There's like 50 strings knotted together and we had to untangle and follow the whole thing to find our Bigs. It was terrible/fun at the same time. Either way, Marek and I made it through somewhat quickly. At least 10 minutes or more, but it was definitely interesting. Afterwards, we went to In-N-Out and then went to someone's house for a party. I know that I'll never smoke anything in my life. After one experience, that is all I need. So yeah that was that. Then today I went shopping and got some great deals at Target since all the Halloween stuff was on sale. I got a bowl for 30 cents lol. I love sale items :) Target is the perfect place for that. I don't think I haven't gotten something on sale yet. So sad haha. Anyways I'm trying to save money and spend less every week, but of course, I'll start next week xD Mary is coming to visit so I can't exactly spend less yet. Well I had fun skyping with the girls tonight. It's been way too long but it'll definitely happen again next weekend. Good night world & have a wonderful week :]

Ahhh.

So it turns out he wants to go to the concert. I hope this all works out for all of us! :D Ahh so excited already xD

Some people are very inconsiderate.

I really wish people could read minds sometimes. Some people are selfish and only think about themselves, not giving a care about others. I guess I put others before me too much. I always get the shorter end. 

It's kind of a funny story.

So I met two people here and they're both CE's. I totally thought they were dating cause they hang out together all the time, but it turns out they're just friends. It kind of surprised me cause it seemed like they were dating, but they aren't. Guys and girls can be friends, but they have so much in common lol.

Hehe.

Somehow, things don't change. Just like feelings...

Phew.

So glad that no feelings were hurt cause this is a turn of events! P.S. I got RED :D Happiest girl alive right here :]

Soon.

I want to see you badly. I never thought that I'd you miss you so much.  I'll never forget, even if we haven't talked in a while now. And when you brought up Taylor Swift, I went crazy. If only we weren't 5 hours apart. I'll always care about you. I have to say, "Losing him was blue like I’d never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met But loving him was red." How accurate.

Why?

Somehow, my heart still skips a beat...

Life lesson.

I had CE 111 today and Dr. Fiegel told the class some advice that I found very useful. Over the next four, four 1/3, or four 1/2 years (this joke has been used so much), we will have a lot of highs and lows at SLO. We will hit some good times and some bad. However, he told us, "This is only one day of the next four years." It really stuck out to me because we will all have some rough days, but there's always better ones. Even if this is our first exam, there'll be 50 more. He told us all of that and I was like "wow this applies to me so much." I have my first midterm tomorrow and I'm scared because I know I'm doing bad in the class. However, his words of advice boosted my confidence so much. I know that this is a rough time, but it will get better. I just need to work harder next time and know that I can do this and I will. Thank you Mr. Fiegel because your advice truly helped. I even added a post it of the first quote on my wall. It really means that much to me. Well I need to get up early tomorrow to study. Good night world & don't procrastinate, it never helps in the long run (I need to take my own advice more often) :]

Lost.

I'm throwing my life away and I'm not doing anything it. I don't know why but I've lost my motivation. What is happening to me?

Finally.

So before I blogged about this guy that I saw all the time on campus and it turns out he lives in the same hall as me. I saw him a few times and realized it was the same guy all along. I still don't know who he is exactly, besides where he lives, but now I know why he looks so familiar. I don't see him anymore so it's not weird. These past few days have been fun. My family visited me on Saturday and it was nice spending time with them. That night, I went bowling with some friends. It was supposed to be cosmic, but that didn't start until 9:30PM. Usually it's at 8:00PM but I don't know why it wasn't. Either way it was a lot of fun and I got my highest score ever :D 137 if I remembered correctly. Woot woot. So happy haha. Then we played pool and I did so much better than last time. Like I completely sucked last time, but this time I did good. Chris even called me a hustler, Brandon wanted me to make gutter balls, Victoria didn't understand how I could bowl like that, and Keri flipped me off. I don't think Will said anything. But either way, it was a fun night. Sunday consisted of being lazy and finishing homework last minute. I have my first midterm this Friday and I'm scared because I'm not doing well in the class. I hope I can at least get a B, but at this rate, I'll be lucky with a C. Let's see how well I can focus. Good night world :]

Yup.

Sitting alone in bed with nothing to do. College life right here haha.

x.x

I'm beyond tired right now. This is why you never do math hw the night before it's due. It never works out! Not done, but I'm going to sleep. Good night world!

Great.

I'm almost like an open book. It's easy to tell when something is bothering me sometimes. I guess if you really know me, you'll know most of the time. So yeah, good job for you, but now you know something is up...

Why.

  Sigh, it's been too long :(

Blah.

I'm sick with a runny nose and dry throat. Whyyy D:

Pain.

Just when things are going fine, everything spirals out of control out of no where. Life, why must you do this to me? Haven't I suffered enough as is?

Man.

It honestly feels so good to know how you feel. It clears your head a lot.

...

After seeing that, I think I need to let go of my feelings as if nothing ever happened...

Confused.

I can't explain my feelings very well right now because I don't understand them. Great.

Friday night.

So tonight I ended up going to bonfire for SWE/EWB. I didn’t even end up meeting my Big Sib, but I can’t wait to whenever that happens. I did meet a lot of new people and we ended up going to Avila Beach. The moon was almost full so it was beautiful next to the ocean. I attempted to make S’mores, but my hand/arm was burning from the heat. I still had a lot of fun though! Plus I saw a shooting star. I want to have a picnic there sometime at night. Then on our way back, there was a lot of traffic because of the Mac Miller concert. When we were entering campus, there were police doing a checkpoint which was interesting. First time being in a car when that happened. I had a lot of fun, but the bonfire wasn't too exciting, probably because there were too many people. Oh and we played Do you love your neighbor which was a blast. I love that game a lot now lol. Earlier, like maybe an hour ago, I overheard two guys talking outside my window. I'm assuming they both like to drink, but one guy (guy 1) kept telling the other (guy 2)  not to drink tonight because he might not be able to handle it. Guy 1 kept on saying listen to me, go back to your room and sleep and don't do anything else. You go finish that water and sleep. It was along the lines of that, but he was really looking out for his friend. He said if he went back to his dorm and slept, then tomorrow they would go do something. He even said if you don't, then if I see you, I won't even talk to you. He was pretty serious, but Mustangs look out for one another. I'm so thankful for the awareness presentations that we had during WOW week. They talked about situations like the 2 guys had, and I'm glad one guy was making the right decisions and being a good friend. I just hope that the other guy does the same too. Good night world & have a great weekend :]

Woot woot.

So I keep on seeing this Asian guy on campus and I'm pretty sure he's a freshmen. I never officially met him but I see him all the time during the most random moments. It's kinda weird cause every time I see him it's like oh it's that guy again. Tonight I had Intro to CE and then I went to bowling night by SCE. I got to be Jasmine most of the time cause the names were Disney princesses and princes. It was a lot of fun and got to meet like 5 new people. Overall, I had a great time and can't wait to do Cosmic Bowling :D Well I need to sleep so I can be somewhat awake tomorrow. Good night world :]

Hmm.

Yahoo answers isn't even helping the slightest. What to do, what to do...

Well

I'm just so lost and confused right now. I really just need to forget...

I love you...

Fun nights.

Tonight I went to the drive in theater with my roommate. We watched Finding Nemo and The Odd Life of Timothy Green. I had such a blast! I've been wanting to see The Odd Life of Timothy Green for the longest and I'm so glad that I got the chance to. Plus it was better than I expected, except for the ending of course, which I didn't expect. I ended up crying and I was just like darn it. Still, I had so much fun and I'd love to go back again for any other good movies coming out. A huge plus was how the sky was mostly clear and the stars were beautiful. I find it weird how half the whole time (around the end of Finding Nemo), I wished I was there with you though. Why is my mind doing this to me D: Sigh, confused feelings. Am I falling for you?

Words.

It's funny how people think they're so much better than everyone. I'm sitting here in my dorm doing homework and there's a group of people outside. Our window is open and I hear a guy saying how he wants to ask an engineer "are you antisocial" & "why do you stay in your room all day". Like really? Who cares if we can be antisocial (which many are not) and who cares if we stay in our rooms all day. Maybe we have better stuff to do like homework rather than going out to party or something. At least we're making the most of our education. He had no right to say something like that. It pisses me off to know that there are people who can't even respect their peers and think they are so much better than everyone else. You tell me, in 10 years, who will be more successful? An engineer or a guy who smack talks? We all know the answer to that don't we. Freaking jacked up people these days. Think before you talk. He better be glad he left before I got up.

Palomartians.

So yesterday my fellow Palomartians (people living in my hall) went to go swipe food out since we had extra meals. We wanted to get rid of them so we all headed over to VGs. Kat, our RA, made everyone introduce themselves so we would all know each other. When I introduced myself, some guy pointed at me and said "Hey I like your name" and I found it so random. But yeah, I got 5 water bottles lol. Too bad I still had one leftover meal.

What have I done.

I have never experienced someone who couldn't take a hint. Like I try so hard to be nice and let them down easy, but they just don't get it. I mean is it that hard to realize it? I mean I don't want to be mean or anything, but I feel like nothing else is working. Sometimes, I just wish I could rewind the week and start over again.

Sigh.

Meeting new people makes you realize how much you miss the ones you already know.

Where to begin.

I honestly have to say this has got to be one of the best weeks of my life. I've met so many wonderful people and I'm having such a great time exploring SLO with people I've come to know. We've done SO many amazing things, which I will blog all about tomorrow, but I'm just so happy. I get to finally cross things off my 112. I can't wait, but this is all just so amazing that it almost feels unreal sometimes that all of this is happening to me. Well until school starts on Tuesday lol. I finally get a breather after 4:00pm tomorrow since WOW is over, but I'm so glad we get reunions! My feet are SO tired after walking so much, but it's worth everything I saw and had to do. Good night world & let's hope my toes heal from the swelling cause it hurts so much!

College Life.

I'm finally moved in and starting my life at college. It's all activities and getting settled this week, but it's been fun. However, there's just so much going on that it's hard to do everything that you want. Soooo much walking that my feet hurt lol. I've been sleeping well too :D However, I couldn't stop crying yesterday morning when I came. I was at home and my mom kept on asking me if I needed anything before I went for breakfast and then the tears started. I couldn't even eat my cereal without getting all choked up. Then I saw a shooting star on the way here and it felt like a good sign for me. Well time to go get ready for a rally. Internet works :D

College bound.

Tomorrow is the big day. I'll be ready in a few hours and I can't wait. SLO here I come! :D

It's jacked.

I hope I never end up with a cheater. No one should ever have to hurt like that.

"Love is a color of many shades."

~Joey Greco, Cheaters

Wake up call.

Let's just say the nightmare I had was definitely a bad one. I thought one of my friends took their own life, but it turned out to be someone else (which doesn't make it any better). Nightmares can feel so real and that's what I went through this morning. I woke up terrified that something happened to you. My whole right leg and right arm was completely numb and I could barely move them. I tried to talk to you as fast as I could but nothing was responding on my computer. It was a terrible feeling and I hope that you're okay because as of now, I'm scared. Scared that something might really happen to you. I don't know why I had that nightmare, but honestly, I hope I'm not losing you. The moment you think someone close to is gone is one of the worst feelings you'll ever have to go through.

One last thing.

I feel like I'm getting a sore throat but I really hope it's nothing. It's the last thing I need right now. I must sleep. My sleep schedule is so off >.> It's all my fault too...

Reality.

"Just felt the weirdest feeling ever... It's depressing when a friend leaves you to move away or go to college, but now that it's finally my turn, the weirdest sensation has come over me. A flood of feelings, both good and not so good, rushes over. Excitement, nervousness, loss, gain, acomplishment, regret, happiness; these do not even begin to describe how I feel. Yet i am completely calm throughout it all. I am not sure that it has hit me yet, nor am i sure that it ever fully will. In all the excitement over the next few years, i dont think it will have the chance to sink in. When I began to think about it, I realized tonight is the last night of my life where my room is actually MY room. Tonight is the last time I think of myself as truly a high school kid. Tonight is the last time my friends I have had since kindergarten will be a few streets away. I am finally a college kid; that stage that, since I was a kid, I have both respected and been awestruck by. I remember thinking I would never get that old, and how I would never want to leave home, yet here I am. At the same time, I am not that kid anymore. I am in fact a college student now. I have gained so many skills since then- I can cook, clean, drive, and order food for myself, to list a few. Not only am I going to be completely independent, but I am capable of being completely independent. I know I can handle "it" whatever challanges "it" happens to be. I am also filled with a feeling that all of us have had for quite some time now- eagerness to leave and start our own life. So come at me, SLO, because I'm ready for ya."

One of my soon to be classmates posted this and I couldn't agree more. It's like he read my mind lol. But it's so true and that will be me in a day. No longer will I be a high school student, but a college student. It's hard to believe that all of this is happening, but it is. College, even if I'm not fully prepared, I hope I find the right people to guide me through this incredible journey. I don't want to miss out on a thing, but most importantly, I want to have the time of my life like I did in high school. So no more being scared, sheltered, quiet, afraid, or nervous. I need to be more open and willing to take on new obstacles. That's how I will succeed in life. Good night world :]

Fudge.

I guess people are right when they say you never truly get over someone. After that dream and Sunday, a part of me can't let you go. As much as I try to forget and erase you from my mind, you find a way to come back. No matter what I do, I can't forget or let go of the feelings I once had because they will always be there. What I felt for you will never change. I can't do anything  about it until I find someone new. However, I don't want anyone new yet, but I want to let the feelings go. I just don't understand why that is so hard for me to do and why I haven't gotten over it yet.

Heartbroken.

A good day can turn into a bad one just by a snap of a finger. That's basically what happened today except not so literally. I sometimes wish we weren't this close so I wouldn't get hurt. But it's too late, cause I've been hurt a lot already, and I don't know if I can handle it anymore. Maybe I don't have to. I see this as a good thing with me leaving. I can just forget stuff since I don't have to be around those people.

Honestly.

After all the stress of going through packing for the past 2 hours and being sad because I'm leaving, right now I'm happy. I'm glad that I get the chance to leave to explore and find out who I am in this world. Even if it means leaving everything that I have behind, I get to meet new people and have the time of my life. I leave all the drama behind and find out which friends really matter to me because I know many will go. Whatever happens, it will be for the best and I just need to be headstrong and prepared. This is life, so come at me with full force.

Sadness.

Well everyone is forcing me to pack like it's the most important thing right now (to me it's not), but I guess I need to face reality. One more day...

Summer List 2012 (3)

1. Go kayaking

2. Go camping

3. Get my permit

4. Stargaze

5. Read some books

6. Do something I normally wouldn't do

7. Learn how to swim or try to

8. Have lunch or dinner with a friend

9. Go someplace new

10. Ride a ferris wheel or go to a carnival*

11. Work out

12. Write those letters

13. Learn how to cook
14. Have a silly string fight*
15. Go fishing
16. Get rid of bad habits
17. Watch the sunrise or sunset (preferably sunset)
18. Take photobooth pictures
19. Watch fireworks
20. Pull an all-nighter
21. Have a picnic
22. Watch movies all day
23. Have a water balloon fight
24. Clean up all the stuff on the floor in my room and organize it
25. Work on my photo albums
26. Go vegetarian for a day
27. Take lots of pictures
28. Blog more
29. Eat Korean BBQ or Pho
30. Learn how to push myself on a swing
31. Get a personalized leather bracelet*
32. Beat 2000 FreeCell levels in order
33. Beat Kevin at WWF

34. Tell someone how I really feel

35. Enjoy every moment and don't let people bring me down

So far I finished 24/35 things on my list which is over half. Yes! Even though there are two days left of my summer, I know that there are at least 2 things (hopefully) that I can still do and let's hope that I do! Compared to the last time I updated this on July 26th until now, it's been about a month and 2 weeks. Last time I had only 14 things done, and this time I have 24. It's crazy how productive you can be. So thanks to anyone who has helped me with my list, and I'm happy with the results so far :]

35. Enjoy every moment and don't let people bring me down

From the beginning of summer until now, I didn't have any drama which I'm thankful for. I lived life as much as I could, spent a lot of time with the people I love, and laughed as much as I could. I really wanted to make this summer memorable and it definitely was. Even if I did go through some tough times, I made it through them, and that's all that matters. I'm glad that people were there for me the entire time and it's been a great summer in all.

34. Tell someone how I really feel

Well this turned out to be tell everyone how I feel lol. I told a lot of people how much that I appreciate our friendships and that I'm going to miss having them around. Even if it may seem repetitive, I honestly feel that way towards everyone, but for some people, I have more to say to them. It feels nice to let them know what they mean to me, and I hope it makes them happy.

31. Get a personalized leather bracelet*

I honestly didn't think that I would end up getting this, but surprisingly I did thanks to Kenneth. I saw it at the zoo and I wasn't sure if I should buy it or not, but he ended up getting one for me. It was nice of him, even though he shouldn't have, but I'm going to wear it soon.

28. Blog more

This summer, I wanted to blog more to remember all the great and fun times I had so I can look back on them someday. I definitely achieved it. Even though I didn't blog more than last year, in July I do have 54 posts, when I usually have about 30 a month. I'm very proud of myself.

27. Take lots of pictures

So this whole summer, I took a total of 887 pictures (about) which is quite a lot. I mean for a few months, that's definitely more than usual. I'm glad I have a lot of memories to look back on and to add to my photo album.

16. Get rid of bad habits

Well I decided to stop eating before I sleep because I know it's bad for my body and I have. All I do is drink half a glass of milk and that's it. I feel better and my stomach doesn't even growl in the mornings (sometimes). I'm trying so hard to take care of my body. I've been trying to sleep earlier but for 2-3 nights, I've stayed up until 1-2. Not good since I can't fix it, but I'm still working on it!

It's been such a long day.

So today was my last day that I hung out with my friends before I leave to college. I have to say, it has been one of the best days. Of course it's sad that I'm leaving, but it's nice to see everyone together having a great time. I went to Sonics with Kenneth and I got my grilled cheese that I've been craving because of Danner. However, Danners grilled cheese sandwiches will always be my favorite and I'm going to miss them so much. So we never been to Sonics and had no idea how it worked so we were confused for the longest time ever. He figured it out and now I know how to order at Sonics lol. First time going there too. Then we went to Micke's Grove Zoo to look around. It's been so long since I've been there and the zoo is small but still enjoyable. I loved looking at all the different animals and seeing them in their habitats. We went to the little shop that 

they had and he had to get me something even though I kept telling him not to >.> But I guess I can cross it off my summer list at least so thanks. I was even thinking about buying it, but I couldn't decide. Then I got a souvenir penny. I can add it with my collection :D We left to see if the Japanese Garden was open and it was! I was like :O oh snap haha. I really did want to see it cause it looked so pretty online. I'm glad it was open. It was cool seeing the koi fish, the house thing, the different plants and trees, the waterfalls, the bridges, and the stepping stones. I really loved the bridges and stepping stones the most, even though I was afraid of falling a lot. We went to the garden and sat down for quite some time talking about all sorts of things. It felt so nice to be able to relax in nature. While sitting there and looking at all the trees and sun, I felt like Yoon Hee from Love 

Rain for a moment. Later on we went to Target and ran into Angelica and Bacon. We talked to them for a while and then they ended up going to Delta. We went to BWW to get seats and watched the games. Eventually everyone got there except Aman, but we still all ate. I really wish that everyone could have came, but I'm glad a lot of people did which is better than none. I had so much fun and at one point I was so into the Steelers vs. Broncos game that I made this quiet-ish scream and Bacon, Angelica, and Jessi were hecka shocked it came from me lol. I found it so funny but I didn't even expect that to come from me either. I was just too excited for the game, which they won :D Even though the Colts lost, Broncos won, which was good for me. Bren came late and we all hung out outside for a while taking pictures and talking. It was sad saying/hugging 

everyone goodbye but I know that won't the last time I see them. We're all so close that I know things won't change a lot when we all go our different ways. I was so happy to see everyone and they don't know how much I appreciated them all coming. It didn't feel like a farewell dinner at first, but after leaving, it sure did. Jessi, Angelica and James went to the car to get their stuff and that's when it hit me. After giving back their stuff, Jessi and Angelica gave me advice, told me they'd be there for me if I ever had guy problems, and said to keep in touch. That's when I finally got all teary eyed. James gave me another hug and I hope he liked his card. As they were walking back to everyone else, Kenneth said something like take one last good because this is the last time you'll see her and it was just so sad looking at all of them looking at me. I was pretty heartbroken, no lie. Today is honestly the day it's really hitting me mentally and physically. I had such a wonderful time with everyone and I'm going to miss them all so much. Also, 

thanks to Kenneth I really had a fun day. I hope everyone liked their cards/letters/pictures and dinner. I can't wait until we all meet again and thank you guys for coming. It's been a great way to end off my summer basically, and I enjoyed every single moment of it. There's no better way to celebrate than with the people you love to be around. I'm going to miss you guys so much! See you guys soon, very soon :]

One last thing.

So I think I have a swollen lymph node under my chin/jaw above my neck. It hurts and I have no idea when I got it. I noticed earlier when watching television and when I looked up, I had this pain at that spot. I touch it and it's like this bump and it hurts. I looked it up and my body could be fighting infection or something else. I sure hope that's it and nothing is wrong but this has never happened. I hope it goes away soon because I'm scared and it hurts. Help.

Slow poke.

I finally started the letters I've been meaning to write in June. Yeah it's been 3 months already. How time flies by so quickly. So far I finished one today and it was so bittersweet. Looking back at all those memories I shared with that person from freshmen year until now is just crazy. I've forgotten most of it until I looked through my blog just to find more memories. It's nice to look back and recall things you don't remember. So Kevin, I've had so many wonderful times that I know I'll never forget, and I hope you don't either. Hopefully I can finish 9 letters before Sunday. Then I still got 4 more after that before I leave. So much writing but I got this. Aja fighting xD Oh how I'll miss Korean dramas once I'm in school. It's alright, I can focus on school for a quarter and not so much on dramas. Good night world :]

26. Go vegetarian for a day

So I was supposed to go vegetarian for a day like last week but my dad tempted me with chicken nuggets. Of all days right? Anyways I ended up doing it today and it honestly doesn't feel much different lol. I guess it's cause I still eat food, just not meat. But yay haha. Finally did something on my list after like a month.

"This is the best day ever" -Spongebob

Well I just got the best news ever! So I returned this geology book in order to get another one and they said I can keep it! I was like :O No way! They're refunding me but I still get to keep the book. Crazyy stuff. What's even more crazier is that I'm getting financial aid!!! I can't believe it. This is honestly the best news ever for me right now, even though I'm still confused with it, but I couldn't be more happy right now. Thank you to the team who had to decide because you guys just saved me big time. It's good to know that hard work does pay off. Man I can't contain my excitement!

Life, life, life.

I hardly blog since nothing really happens much. I wake up late, play Flower Shop all day, occasionally pack  stuff, think about all the stuff I should be doing but I'm not, and so on. Today is no different of course xD I mean I watched a movie with my mom, but then she went to sleep, and my dad but that's it. Oh I also packed most if not all my clothes. Need to wait for the rest of the laundry to be done and I'll be set. It's slowly starting to hit me that I'm leaving in a week. It doesn't feel like it. People bring it up all the time and I'm happy looking forward to something new and basically the rest of my life. However, deep down it makes me really sad to leave all this behind. I know I'll visit for sure since I'll get homesick (wouldn't be surprised if it was only after a few days too) but three months is a long time to be away from home. I left home for one week and that was science camp in the 5th grade. But this is 3 months, not 1 week. I guess time will fly but I can't help it. So no matter how happy or excited I am, a part of me is deeply saddened. I know I'll get over it hopefully, but I can't help the way I feel now. I'm going to miss my family, friends, and the place/city that I call home. After growing up here my whole life, now I have to leave it all behind even if it's not for long to some but it will feel like a lifetime for me. It's heartbreaking to realize all this, but this is life. It's time to grow up and be an adult now. The only problem is, what if I'm not ready for that? I guess either way I'll have to force myself to adjust. But until that one week goes by, I can't do much but prepare myself for the next 4 years of my life. I know things won't be the same, but this change might be too much for me to handle. I'm just a turtle hiding in my shell, afraid of what is yet to come. But one day, that gut feeling inside of me will be ready. Or at least, that's what I think. So as I write my thoughts, I can only prepare myself for everything. Even if I can't, I know at least I tried.

Oh man.

It's definitely nice to look back on those old high school memories whether it be by watching videos or looking at pictures, it makes me so happy to remember such wonderful times no matter how much time has past or things have changed.

Setting it straight.

Breaking bad habits is never easy but I'm going to fix my sleep schedule starting tomorrow. I'm going to sleep before 12:00 hopefully, get off by like 11:15-11:30 and do something so I'm not on the computer all day. I got 11 days of break left and I need to enjoy it! The only thing preventing myself from finishing my list is myself. I just need motivation to make things right :D Good night world & lets hope that I can do this :]

"Something has to change for new things to come."

So I'm on the last episode of Love Rain (I'm so sad D:) and the guy said the quote above. It's so true. Man this is my all time favorite drama lol. I loveee the 70's part of this. I wish it would never end. Sigh.

Well...

I was supposed to go vegetarian for the day but my dad bought chicken nuggets...

Sigh.

For some reason, my heart skipped a beat seeing that you read my stuff. A part of me just can't let you go until I find someone new. Guess I'm stuck like this until then...