Time is everything.

Isn't it?

This.

Yesterday.

So I didn't even do much yesterday except watch the Greatest Love. Ahh two cute guys ;D But anyways, I'm already on episode 9. Woke up at 10:30 for the 4th time in a row this week D: I can't sleep that much anymore... I've been thinking of what I could change for next year. And I mean seriously change. So I've decided to try and drop my bad habits. I can try to grow out my nails, be way more productive, have better study habits, work out and eat veggies, spend less time on the computer and more time with my family, and do things that make me happy. I always complain how I have no time anymore, when honestly, I have a whole lot of time. I'm just on the computer saying that I'm busy. So after I finish this drama, I'm going to dedicate a whole day of not going online at all and just do things for myself. I need to take a step back and show that I can be free without the computer. I need to find myself again. I know that if I set my mind to it, I'll be able to accomplish it :]

2012 Resolutions

1. Work out/eat veggies

2. Be more productive/better study habits

3. Drop my bad habits & instead: grow out nails, stop shaking my leg, and don't be online and spend time with family

3 more days...

Man I'm breaking down now.

Sick of it.

It's time I stopped helping you. A person can only do so much for someone else. I've tried to make you realize that people aren't as nice as they appear. They will sweet talk you to get what they want and next thing you know, you won't talk to them anymore. I've tried to help you so many times, but if you can't realize that I'm right, then it's your loss. You need to learn that people will break your heart. I can't keep going on like this. It's time I take a step back and let you learn a few lessons. I won't always be there to help you, and when I am, you take it for granted or laugh it off. I'm not going to say I'm sorry because I'm not sorry. I've continuously tried to help you, but it seems like it's not getting through your head. You've been played once, and I don't want to see you get played again. But who am I to say anything? I'm just someone you never listen to. That's the one thing that never seems to change. I hope one day in the future you learn a few things and find the right guy for you. But my time is up and I guess it was good while it lasted...

People will either make your life better or break your heart.

There's never an in between. Sad right?

Things will get better in time.

To freeeseee:

We all make mistakes and regret things that we did or didn't do. But no matter what, most of us learn from our experiences and I'm glad you did. You deserve the best in life. Even though things didn't work out with the guy of your dreams, it only means there's someone even better for you. Never lose hope or faith. I hope you have a great year in 2012. Don't be afraid to make mistakes because you only live once.

Sometimes, you have to take your own advice. Everyone should do that.

People on Tumblr truly make me smile. Funny how strangers can make you happier than some of those people closest to you. It's pretty interesting to me.

Good night world :]

fwquivnedj

I'm too oblivious. I wish there was a book to tell you what to avoid and all that. Life would be much more simple, but I'm glad I have friends who just say it like it is. There's always someone that helps me, especially with guys. She's been right about the last two and hopefully there's not another one anytime soon. It's nice to have people there to help you along the way. It's exactly what I need.

Hmmm

Do you ever wish that the one person who's meant to be for you could just walk into your life at any given moment. Whether it be today or tomorrow, just anytime soon. Sometimes I wish that could happen to me, but I know that when the time is right, it'll happen.

I feel like I need someone to talk to. Someone who I can tell every little thing to. Someone I can depend on and trust. Someone who won't let me down. Someone who can make me happy. But I don't have that someone right now and it saddens me. This is when I feel like I know so many people, yet none of them are available. I just want to talk to someone. Something as easy as talking is so hard to do. Why is that?

Actions speak louder than words.

It'll always be that way. Sweet talking gets you no where.

Hehehe.

So todayyy, where do I begin? Haha. My sister and I went to the bowling alley, but no one was there yet so we waited. Then someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around. Lucas tricked me haha. Sierra and Maryann was with him too and we all talked. Then Jennifer and Tony comes and we all talk some more. And then Carey and Ashleigh arrive and we all get ready to bowl. Sierra and Maryann like their gifts, so I'm happy about that. We were all pretty bad at bowling, not even gonna lie, during both rounds xD I got a 60 something and a 90. I'm happy hahaha. Carey got like 15 on the first one halfway through the game and Sierra called her the winner. Tony was suppose to be Tony the Tiger, but he didn't like it, Lucas was Caveman, Jennifer was Baby, Brandy was Brandy, Maryann was Marybelle I think, Sierra was Smokeysomething, Carey was Big Daddy, Ashleigh was Big Mommy, and I was sexy Amy. Yeah don't ask. I didn't choose the name >.> I bet Carey gave Jennifer the idea. I was suppose to be just Amy but nooo, I had to have a different name. It was funny cheering each other on :D Then next to us, this boy had the rails up and he throws the ball over it and into the gutter. Then this lady threw the ball and the guard was down for the pins so it flew back to the front xD Also, this lady just randomly stands next to Carey cause the first team's game was over and it was very awkward. Yeah, we all failed at the granny shot cause we all either missed the pins or got a gutter. After, we went to both malls. Let's just say parking was veryyy interesting. Sierra almost hit 3 pedestrians cause she was looking for parking spots. There were none, but we eventually found one. Good thing we warned her or else who knows what could've happened. They didn't even stop walking. And she drives a huge truck. That didn't help. Then Ashleigh wanted to jack the giant yellow school bus xD We got food, shopped, walked around to random stores. I got a new book :D, Toffee-ettes from See's Candies (so yummy :3) & a tasty free sample, Charley's Subs bacon and ranch fries (oh yes and I devoured in 5 minutes xD), and soda. They didn't have any nice headbands at Forever 21. Oh well, I got everything else that I wanted and got to spend it with wonderful people. We even took pictures with the iPad at Best Buy. Saw cute asian guys too ;D I had a blast today. I wish Debora could've came, but I hope she's feeling better now. There's always next time. I can't wait when we take our gown photos. So exciting :D Overall, I had a beyond wonderful day and I hope there's many more to come. Maybe over spring break we can go ice skating or something. It was seriously a Commodore reunion since we all went there. I still feel bad that I don't remember Ashleigh though >.< I hope everyone had fun too :]

YEEE :D

I can't wait for today!!

2011 resolutions.

I know I won't be finishing anymore, so I'm gonna see what I did now.

1. try hard to get all A's
2. get my permit (1st time)
3. learn Fur Elise&practice for 1hr each week
4. fold 1011 cranes
5. try something new
6. no english hw during fp
7. 2.5 hours online on school days
8. hw BEFORE computer
9. be more productive
10. try watching all the colts games (starts in the summer)
11. take a chance
12. write about it

I didn't even get a chance to do 2, 3, or 4. I attempted 6 but forgot and attempted 7 and 8 but those didn't work either. I'll definitely keep 1 and 9 again. I really need to work hard this last semester before college. I'm limiting my 2012 resolutions though xD

:D

Today. was. amazing. I may be over exaggerating, but I just loved the whole experience. I learned so much and I understand a lot now. I can see myself doing this job years from now and happy doing it too. Hopefully, I can get some better study habits and pass those exams. I'm going to work hard for what I want. I'm just glad that I finally know that this is it. This is right for me. Now if I change my mind along the way, then hopefully I'll find something else that I love. I can't say that this is my perfect job, but I really like it. I'm really thankful for today. Thank you to my uncle and Gabe. The experience was just amazing and I wouldn't trade it in for anything. Can't wait for tomorrow! Good night world :]]]]]]]]]]]

P.S. For once in a long time, I feel that we finally had a real conversation. Nothing awkward, just talk and laughter. I like it.

Lalalalala...

Watched movies all day and did nothing productive. Not even EOP. Kinda forgot >.< since I was watching movies. I finished Transformers 3, Wall Street Money Never Sleeps, and Zookeeper. All very good movies. Transformers was intense, Wall Street was interesting cause I could understand it (thanks to Mr. V), and Zookeeper was freaking hilarious. I loved it all haha. Must have a productive day tomorrow. I seriously can't contain my excitement :D Good night world & have a great day :]]]]]]]]]]]]]

10 things about myself.

1. I'm scared for college. I'm tired of not being good enough and all I want is to be accepted to where I want to go. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for college and it scares me. I don’t want my parents to have to worry about it, but it seems like there’s nothing else I can do.
2.  I have so many hobbies that I end up forgetting about. I can’t stop myself from starting something new.
3.  I want to grow up and open a bakery. I’ve always loved cupcakes and cakes.
4. I’ve thought about suicide once in my life. I’m still surprised that I ever thought about killing myself now that I think back to it. I’m such a happy person, but it was a bad time in my life that I overcame. 
5.  My cousin’s grandfather passed away not too long ago and that was my first loss so close to family. 
6.  It’s hard for me to really open up when I’m in pain. I hate having others see me hurting, but I don’t know how to cope when something bad happens.
7.   I’m a huge Colts fan.
8.  I want to travel the world someday to places like Paris, New York, China, Bora Bora, London, and so much more.
9.  I’m willing to help anyone who needs it. I love community service because I get the chance to help people out. I feel bad if I don’t help someone because what if I needed help and no one was there for me? I’d be devastated, so I help anyone that I can because it makes me happy.
10.  I’m thankful for everything I’ve been given and the people that I’ve known and currently know. I’ve been truly blessed and I don’t ask for much because of it.

A little deeper...

Why is this so true? These words were stuck in my head all day. Once you walk into my life, it's hard to just leave like nothing ever happened. Truth is, I don't know what I would do if I lost anyone that's close to me. They all changed my life for the better and life without them wouldn't be worth living anymore. They mean that much to me. Maybe that's why death hurts me so much. To know that they imprinted themselves into my life, that's something no one can ever take back. I can't forget people who are important to me. One of the things I care about most in life are the people who shaped or changed me. You guys made me who I am today. Nothing will ever change that.

Potato couch.

That's seriously me all day when I don't do anything. Except instead of sitting on the couch, I'm sitting on my chair in my room. I did sit on the couch today though, but that's not my point. I sit in my room all day on the computer, which isn't good. Why do I have to talk to friends almost 24/7? Bad for my health >.< but it's a habit that's hard to break. The only reason I'm online is to talk to people and that's it. Ahh it's not good either. So today I made an angry bird for my friend, did stuff for Fafsa, and realized I need to start my senior page and finish my EOP. The sooner the better, so my plan is to finish tomorrow so I'm doing something productive. I need to plan a date for our filming. So much left to be done. Job shadow was moved to Wednesday cause there's stuff going on tomorrow. I'm excited :D Then Thursday, going out with all my old buddies :D I'm really excited for that too. Just hoping this will be a good week. Last week before 2011 is over. Not even doing anything for New Years. Again. Probably gonna sit with my sister to watch the ball drop. Same old, same old. Wish there was something different, something new. I will attempt to read my blogs from last year. Maybe the ones I posted on that day. If not, I'll read as many as I can. I once tried reading all of them, and well I stopped in January. I blog a whole lot haha. Watched half of Transformers 3 today, worked on bracelets and will make more, got a birthday gift idea, talked to people, woke up kinda early this morning, and just tired now. I need to accomplish some stuff on my bucket list. Will take me a long time to do that. I still have my 11 things to do in 2011 list. I looked over it and there's only 2 things I haven't done yet. Go kayaking and try some Pho. It's still possible for me to try some Pho, but we'll have to see how things go. I just know that I want fries on Thursday if we go to the mall, which I think we will. Yippee :D I need some bonding time with the girls & guys (not really the guys but it's always nice to see them, no offense to them of course). Crazy how this is the last week. Then it'll only be 5 more months and it just flies from there. It's sad thinking about it, but I know it's gonna happen. I should be prepared for it right? I'm gonna miss everything. Every little thing. Change isn't always good, but it never stops. That's one thing that will never change that some of us may want. But we have to face the facts. The only thing we can do is move on and try to make things stay the same or else it's gone. I'm not willing to let things change for the worst. Not this time. Not without a fight. I will finish the movie tomorrow :D Didn't think it was 3 hours >.< Good night world & enjoy your last week of 2011 :]

2012.

It will be a sad year, I already feel it coming. But might as well make the best of it.

Life.

There's just so many things I want to do in life. So many places I want to see, things I want to experience, and memories I want to remember for the rest of my life. Hopefully I don't have to do all of that on my own, but I hope I get the chance to travel the world and most importantly, be happy.

Merry Christmas!!! :DDD

Before We Meet~Camera Can't Lie

I'm liking this band :D I watched Elf twice today. Very good and funny movie. Christmas was fun this year. Got a few more presents from family, which I didn't expect. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas :D I realized that I never had an ugly Christmas sweater, none the less a Christmas sweater. I always hear about it all the time xD Good night world & have a lovely week :]]]]]]]]]]

You know

The one thing I really want to do for Christmas is to drive or ride, in my case, around town with someone and look at the decorated houses. That's all I want and it's the one thing I can't do. There's always this one house somewhat close to mines with the whole house decorated. I want to see it up close someday. My one dream for Christmas. Someday...

Hehehe.

Hobbies last a lifetime :D 185 cranes. Not even close to 1000 >.<



That one guy.

I want an old-fashioned guy. One who would go out on cute dates with me, doesn't spend a whole bunch of money on me, ask my parents for permission to be with me, doesn't rush into anything, and all those other sweet things. There are so many things I look for when trying to find that one guy, but a guy who's down to earth and open about everything would be fine. I want a gentleman who has good values. Pretty hard to find these days, but I'm sure he's out there. I got this thought after watching Eclipse xD It was sweet what Edward said, which relates to this entire post. Overall, it was better than New Moon :D

14. Try 3 new places (restaurants or fast food) that I haven't been to.

Bubba Gump Shrimp Restaurant 10.19.11



Marie Calendars 12.2.11

Olive Garden 12.23.11 Btw I didn't take the picture of the food xD

 

7. Do something really random or different.

Being a hobo was really random to me haha.

4. Learn how to make a 3D Panda.

Haha I learned way more than just a panda ;D I will make the firework origami soon though.

3. Go to a concert.

I went to a choir concert :D

Senior Bucket List (updated)

1. Stargaze with someone or with a group of people :D

2. Say no to someone if it's a favor that I don't want to do.

3. Go to a concert.

4. Learn how to make a 3D Panda and firework origami.

5. Take 500 pictures with my camera for my Senior Album (Random number haha) I'm at 493/500. I'm almost there :D

6. Read 8 books of my choice (Must start reading again!)

7. Do something really random or different.

8. Apply for 20 scholarships (something has to be academic lol) 3/20 done.

9. Buy someone a singing card :D & bake someone something

10. Make 7 bracelets on my list of bracelets I wanna make for myself (PacMan doesn't count)

11. *Pending*

12. Be with the people who make me happy and make endless memories :]

13. Match shirts with a guy.

14. Sing in the rain :D

15. Try 3 new places (restaurants or fast food) that I haven't been to.

From readribbon:

AMY~ MERRY CHRISTMAS:D!! I hope you have an excellent day today:) you seem like a sweet girl and I'm confident that you are. You deserve only the best, always! Such a tender and optimistic mindset you have, and with that you're bound to have the greatest come out of everything you may encounter. I'm still wishing for the day that we meet, and again, have yourself a very Merry Christmas!^^v~~

She is just too sweet. Hopefully we get the chance to meet before we graduate :]

"If you really care about something, then you fight for it."

So we went to go watch The Adventure of Tin Tin today. I have to admit, it was a pretty good movie. I think I almost knocked out cause I was so tired xD That is a quote from the movie, or along the lines of that. It really stuck to me. Then we ate at Red Robins and went to Vans afterwards. My uncle and aunt insisted on getting me shoes even though I already got two pairs on Tuesday. I kept declining, but if I didn't buy anything there, then we would've went to the store next door and I didn't want to waste time trying on clothes, so I just got a pair of shoes. I still feel bad cause I already have two D: Once I'm guilty, I stay guilty for a while. It's just the way I am. We then went to Costco afterwards and heard about the lady who stole a chicken and ate it in the bathroom from my cousin. I was just like O.O the whole time haha. I mean who does that? We went back to their house and watched tv all day. Watched the Niners game, Cake Boss, DC Cupcakes, America's Funniest Home Videos, A Christmas Story, and this one show about crazy Christmasy places in the U.S. (I forgot the name of it) They were all really good :D My cousin threw Aero bear at me and the hard nose hit me on my right eye. It felt weird. Then she goes grasping my knees (she's evil xD) and squeezed my arm so hard when she thought she saw the American Girl store in New York and it wasn't even it! I'm not feeling any pain right now, but the pain right then and there hurt haha. She's strong >.< We goofed off looking at her classmates and talked about random stories from school. My parents came over for dinner and we had some Dave Wong's. My fortune cookie says "Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish." At first I was kinda lost on the comparison, but I think it means to always be prepared because when you least expect it, good things will happen. And if it doesn't mean that, well that's okay too :D I'll look up the meaning xD I must say, it was a really nice day. It was sunny and I needed to just get out of the house. Family bonding time :D Got to see Wunji and Rocket too ^__^ Wunji lovesss to lick me. I don't know why, but she licks me all the time. Every time we go over haha. Rocket is more suttle, but the both love attention. My parents both don't want a dog >.> They were talking about it when I went downstairs with my cousin for a while. How sad D: But I will get a dog once I'm older. Hopefully. I think that was it for my day. It was fun to relax and not worry about a thing. This is what life should be about: being happy with those that you love. Too bad it's not, but it's wonderful when that does happen. It sure is a great feeling. Merry Christmas everyone!!! :DDD I'll open my other gift "tomorrow" morning haha. I'm tired xD I don't even feel like opening it. But Debora's gift was picked up today. Ahhh, it's amazinggg. I thought I was gonna cry just looking at it >.< It has that much sentimental value for me. I really hope she likes it. I hope that everyone gets to spend today/"tomorrow" with the ones they love and care for. This is what the holiday should be about, not just the presents. Also remember the real reason why we celebrate this holiday. Be thankful. Even though my religion says that we don't believe in God, I do. I guess it grew on me over the years. Good night world and have a lovely Christmas & Happy Birthday Jesus :]]]]]]]]]

Yap yap.

Haha the way I read yap yap is probably different from the way you are reading it. It's hard to explain, but yeah haha. I read it as yahp yahp lol xD Hopefully I didn't confuse you. Anyways, Olive Garden has pretty good food. Very expensive that's for sure. It was nice seeing Jennifer and Carey. Also met some new faces, but it was fun catching up. Mostly talked to Jennifer the whole time, which is okay. There was like 16 of us there xD We were quite loud too. I really hope she liked her gift though. Well both of them actually. I felt so bad when I didn't recognize Ashleigh. I really don't remember her >.< Chicken Alfredo was pretty good. I wonder what that cheese ravioli tasted like though ;D Overall I had a blast and can't wait for next Thursday. My dad was super pissed when the lady didn't show up with the reel after an hour. I was so bored. I was gonna go inside to use the restroom but didn't even end up going. I got too lazy xD and there were people creeping around in the parking lot >.> At least he finally got it but that lady needs to be more courteous to others. You don't just let someone wait for an hour, never pick up your phone, try to cheat them, leave and never come back, and all that other stuff. It's pretty messed up, but as long as my dads happy. The wait wasn't bad since I hardly talk to my dad anymore. There's never really much to say with my parents which is terrible, but I was never close to them. They don't know much about school, friends, and basically my life. They may know food that I like/dislike, but it doesn't go much further from there. I wish I could have a mom where I tell everything about like drama at school or even guys. I wish I could tell my dad ANYTHING at all and have him actually care. Once I tell him something, he forgets or shrugs it off. I wish they were more involved with my life, but it could also be that I never tell them anything. If only I could go back when we were close. Oh man I'm gonna start getting emotional soon, but I think back to the days I was just a little girl and I just miss it all. I wish I could go back. Even though I can't, I'm gonna make my time last while they're still with me. Whether I leave for college or not, I don't want to regret anything. Today was another day where I'm really grateful for my friends. The ones I never see of course and the ones I talk to everyday. The <3's really made me smile, the trolling made me laugh like crazy, the hugs made me feel loved, the awkward/interesting talk made me sad/happy, but the most important of all, the people made me truly lucky and thankful. I don't know why I've been so thankful lately. It might be because of the holidays, but I truly am thankful each and every day. Good night world & Merry Christmas Eve :]]]]]]]]]]]]

Awww.

Romantic guys are just too cute. I swear, if guys had the guts to show a girl how they feel, it would be quite amazing. Vice versa too. Tumblr is getting me in this lovey dovey mood now >.< Good night world (again xD) :]]]]]]]

"You are my only one..."

That song will be memorized by like tomorrow at the rate I keep on listening to it xD Why does he have to be so nice to me? >.< I guess that's what friends are for, but someone in particular always has to say something about him xD Glad I'm over it, but there's something about him. I don't know what, but I still feel different around him even though I'm over him. Odd right? And no, I don't like him anymore. We're better off as friends :D I'm so tired right now. Such a long, exhausting, unhealthy day. Like any other day xD I need to eat healthier. But it was fun and worth it of course.Tomorrow won't help either. Ahh, I want some pasta or ravioli. I already know what I want and I haven't even been there before. Only I would look up the menu to see what's good. People may not think I'm weird, but I'm really weird haha. Good night world :]]]]]]]]]

:D

Thank you Mary for the lovely pink chair :D It's a nice addition to my room as you can tell lol. At least I didn't get a picture of my pajamas cause they're all pink xD It's kinda hard and a little awkward to sit on. I'm a little too big for it but it's still comfy haha. Perfect for watching tv or playing games. I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and be like what is that? Hahaha. I love it though :D Good night world & have a great Fridayyyyy :]]]]]]]]]]

P.S. I'm really glad for the people I have met so far. They don't know how happy I am to have them in my life. I really do love spending every moment with them when I get the chance to. It makes me happy to know that I can count on them for anything. I know things will be different in 6 months, but I'm grateful to even get to know them. Whether they stay or leave my life, I'm thankful just to have them around. It really means a lot to me. You guys have changed my life. Thank you ♥

Nom nom nom.

Omg I want some bacon ranch fries from Charley's right now. Someone take me :D Even though I can't have them, I'll make myself some nachoes ;D So unhealthy today. I went to Debora's house for her birthday. Nicole was already there by the time I got there. We went to CVS and the bank. First people she gave a ride to once she turned 18 :D Something to be proud about lol. She bought the kettle corn I really liked :3 No matter how much I wanted it, I'm like no I won't buy them. Then she goes and buys them xD When we got back, we watched Our Idiot Brother and Crazy Stupid Love. Nicole and I finished the whole bowl of popcorn and there was alottttt. I know what I'm buying from the store next time ;D I swear, I'm craving so much food right now it's scary >.< Can't help it though. Kinda weird how I went from not being able to finish my food to wanting to eat food every 5 minutes. I swear, it's so odd. Anyways, Mary came over when we started Crazy Stupid Love. We had dinner and I must say was delicious. Then we just sat around talking at the dinner table. I felt like we were a family. Whenever I'm out eating with my friends, it always feels like that. We're all so close after all these years. Apparently, Nicole can read moles and that was just so random/funny. Then I found out that she's Italian. I never knew that. Debora was hinting that she liked a certain type of race cough cough. I know where she was going with that. Overall, I had a really fun day :D Still waiting for Mary to get on so I can open my gift. I think I know what it is, but I'm not sure. I did peek into the bag xD I know it's pink lol. Happy Birthday Debora & Carey :DDDDD You guys both turn 18 today. So old, so fast. I'm so excited for tomorrow though. Can't wait to see Carey and Jennifer :]

Lalalalala...

Ahh man, the song has made my dayyy :D I'm so tired. I just want to sleep now. Good night world :]

Wherever you are...

Dear Santa,

Thank you for everything. This year has been a wild roller coaster, but it’s been worth it. Anyways, I take each day as a learning experience and I learn quite a bit. Honestly, there’s only one thing I’m asking for this year and that is a better year for my family and friends. All of my family and friends. These last few months have been filled with problems from deaths to another experience that I choose not to talk about. I just want things to be alright and stable like it used to be. I know life is filled with unexpected events, but I only want things to be okay. I’m tired of arguments and fights. I don’t want to struggle nor see others struggle. I want to be happy.  Even if you can’t grant my wish, at least make things alright for my parents. I only ask for this little thing and nothing more. Thank you.

Love, Amy

We all need a good laugh.

Just to let it all out. Laugh. It hurt me to laugh earlier when my mouth was numb. I was like noooo D: cause everytime I tried to laugh, my mouth would feel all weird.

Yeeeee :D

My Only One~All Time Low

"What do you say when your heart's not in it, your heart's not in it?
What do you do when you just don't get it, you just don't get it?
Where do you go when you reach your limit, you reach your limit?
'Cause all I know, all I know is
You are my only one, you are my only one
You are my only one, that's all I know, it's all I know."

I freaking love this song. It's so addicting. Especially that part right there. I heard it at Aero yesterday. Lalalalala, I've been lost in music lately...

"I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind."

Here Without You~3 Doors Down

I know this song doesn't fit the occasion, but it fits my mood. His funeral is in two weeks, but I don't think I'm going. I still don't think I'll be able to handle it once the time comes. I wish I wasn't alone, but when it comes to death, I rather be alone. This isn't the way I wanted to start the new year either.

A better future.

As the days go by, the sadder I get inside. I realize that in one month, everything will change before my eyes. I'm scared to what the new year will bring after what happened last month. Still not sure where I can apply for a job either. I'm nervous but I hope the new year brings good things for my family as well as other families too. I just wish life didn't have to be so difficult all the time. It makes me want to cry sometimes to know that things will never be the way it was. I hope that this will be a new beginning to a better future.

Oh joy.

The cavity filling didn't even hurt. Although it felt odd a few times, it wasn't that bad. Except the drilling was something. I was at the dentist for about 2 and a half hours though >.> I was pretty bored most of the time. I got my gift for Carey. I'm so excited for Friday now :D And for tomorrow, I'm even more excited. I just can't wait. Sad that the calendar was barely shipped in today :( Won't get it on time D: I was looking forward to it too. Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait. I wonder if I need to bring anything. Well this week has been lots of fun so far. The next few weeks will consist of staying at home, working on my career project, reading some books, watch a few movies/dramas (but can't find any good ones), and whatever else to keep me busy. Doesn't even seem like Christmas is this Sunday, and sadly, I'm not doing anything this year D: It's going to be a lonely Christmas this year. I should write my letter to Santa :D Will go do that now. My mouth is still numb. It felt funny chewing noodles on the left side of my mouth. It's barely starting to wear off, but I can still feel it xD At least I can watch New Moon tonight :]

Cavity filling.

I'm going to get my cavity filled today. I'm trying to stay calm, but inside I'm somewhat nervous/terrified.

I hate watching people change for the worst.

It makes me wonder what happened.

You know what's funny.

I'm always the one who's left hanging. When it comes to friendships, it's hardly the other way around. They always end up leaving. Doesn't surprise me to see who stops trying. I guess real friendships are too good to be true for some.

Gah.

I hate it when people can't straight up face the truth. They think that ignoring the problem will make it magically go away, but it just makes you a coward because you can't go and face the fact that you're wrong. I just can't stand it at all. Hiding will do you no good. It only makes you the wimp.

Today I woke up around 11:45 ;D I was so tired last night and it was only like 12:00. So I wake up and my dad says we're going to B&N cause my sister needs a book for school. I said I didn't want to go cause I wanted to stay home but he said I had to cause I was going to the dentist to get my cavity filled. I was like D: cause I thought I was going on Friday. So he dropped us off at the mall and we just wandered for an hour or so. Then we went to the American Tire Company since my dad's car got a nail stuck in one of the tires. After that, we went to the dentist and it was packed. I was secretly happy and we scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. We went to McDonalds since I got hungry. After that, we headed home and I thought we were done for the day. Then my dad randomly decides to go to Manteca so we did. I got two new pairs of shoes at Vans :DDD Finally lol. We also went to Bass Pro Shop and Best Buy for a while too. I checked my grades and got a 88.95% in Econ. So close D: Just gotta study for the tests next semester cause I only studied for the last one >.< It's my fault I didn't work hard enough, but for my last semester, I'm gonna make it count. So maybe I'll go watch New Moon later. Good night world :]

Lies.

Why would you lie to someone? I think it hurts more if you're lied to and you already know the truth. Lies are painful, so why do that? Just say the truth.

Oh how I miss...

I really do miss watching football. I miss the excitement and craziness after the team I was cheering for intercepts the ball or makes a touchdown. I miss this feeling so much. The Niners and Steelers game was pretty good. I went a little crazy several times xD but I couldn't hold it in. Football really makes me happy.

Yesterday/Today

I keep running out of time or forgetting to blog about my days. So yesterday we went out for dim sum with my family. We were talking about how much stuff was in my grandpa's refrigerator and how if there was a natural disaster, his house would be perfect. There's enough food, a basement, a boat, fabric, sowing machines, etc. That was hilarious cause it was suppose to be a joke and then we all realized how true it was haha. Then I saw Gabe there with his family, I'm guessing. Afterwards, my sister and I went to my cousin's house again and we watched movies. We watched Elf (again ;D), Jingle Ball 2011, Caught on Camera, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and the Ravens vs the Chargers. It was a good game :D We went to pick up my aunt so we could go have lunch at El Pollo Loco. After that, we went home and watched more shows and movies. Didn't do much after that.

Today we went to the dentist. That took 2 hours >.> And my cavity got bigger D: I have to go back again to get it filled. I'm kinda nervous since I only have one cavity and I got it when I was young. Now I smell like the dentist >.< Excited for Thursday and hopefully I can go pick up the gift soon. Still haven't gotten an email yet. I cleaned up my room. I can finally see the floor :D Well thats all for now, but hopefully the cavity won't be too bad.

That feeling where everything is out of your control.

Breakeven~The Script

It sucks to know that one little thing changes everything. No matter how much you wish things could be the same, deep down you know it never will be anymore. It hurts. It's slowly eating me up. The guilt inside of me. It's hard to live it down. What's worse is that I'm not the only one who's hurting, and that hurts me even more.

I'm a sleepyhead.

So my mom just barges into my room this morning to look up some baby formula on Costco. She wanted to know if it was cheap so she could buy some for our relatives in China. I, on the other hand, was like -______- cause it was only 10:25, yes that is still early to me, and I was so tired. I just wanted to hide under my blankets and sleep. Then I tried to sleep again, but that doesn't work. Now I'm all tired. Well gonna go have some dim sum today with family. Have a great day everyone :]

Yesterday/this morning.

I didn't get a chance to blog this morning since I got home pretty late, so I wrote it all down to blog about it later, which is now.

It's 2:35 AM. Woke up to a phone call saying that she's alright. I worried my butt off, afraid something happened to her. I was scared. Really scared. I'm glad she's okay, but there's so much I still want to know. So many things are still wrong with the picture. I went to my grandpa's house for the day cause my sister was gone. Ended up watching Elf, well 40 minutes after the movie, but it was hilarious. My uncle's and cousin came over to help remove the old refrigerator and replace it with the new one. My cousin took me over to their house since I wasn't doing much anyways. Was kinda awkward on the car ride, not even gonna lie, but it was nice finally talking to him. I hardly see him anyways, occasionally at school, but he's always out with his friends and what not. People change. I watched my cousin (his sister) and her cousin for the day while my aunt went to work. We had homemade beef tamales and man it was like heaven in my mouth haha xD Very good. We spent the whole day watching movies. We were potato couches or bums as we called it. We watched Shaolin Soccer, two Charlie Brown movies (one about Christmas & the other about Thanksgiving), Winnie the Pooh (finding Christopher Robin and a Christmas one), Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Hello Kitty movies, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and Shaolin Soccer again and we all passed out during the last one. I fell asleep during parts of Hello Kitty and almost the whole Shaolin Soccer. I think we all did. We had In N Out for dinner and my dad and sister came over. My dad ended up talking to my uncle and aunt until 1:50AM which is why I got home so late. We'll probably have dim sum on Sunday, which I'm getting for right now. I felt so lazy cause it's like day 1 of break, but I get to do my two job shadows, which makes me happy. I'm excited to get new Vans this week and we're probably going to Bass Pro Shop knowing my dad xD But family bonding is what I need right now. Soon enough I'll be heading off to college, and I need to spend time with my family or else I know I'll regret it. I'm always in my room "doing homework" and always on the computer. I need to remember that my family won't always be there for me once I leave. I have to treasure all the time I have with them now. Back to my note haha, man I'm tired. I'm falling asleep as I right this. Good night world & have a great week :]

I'm sorry, I really am...

The worst pain is to lose someone that you love.

I can't believe the day has come. It came so soon, so sudden, so unexpected. I didn't expect it at all earlier. I guess some people saw it coming, but I didn't. I didn't even think about it. I never got a chance to give him my blessings. I never got a chance to say goodbye. I never got to say a lot of things to him. And now it's too late. I wish I at least got the chance to see him in the hospital. I wish I wasn't so weak, but I can't help seeing those in trouble or pain. It hurts too much. He was a wonderful man even if he was an alcoholic, but I care so much for him because he's family. Now that never changes. He was my cousin's grandfather, basically my grandfather too. I've seen him at his best and not his worst, but not his best either. I can't even tell someone without crying my eyes out. Death is the one thing I probably won't ever be able to handle. Losing someone makes me feel like a part of me is missing. Gone. Incomplete because no one else can take that place. This is the sad reality, but I can't handle it. It just hurts too much. Rest in peace and watch over the family. It's good to know that you aren't hurting anymore, but it's going to be hard to know that you aren't with us any longer. I hope you lived a happy life. Love, Amy.

Please be okay.

It's scary when someone you know can't be reached. It's honestly terrifying. I'm so worried right now, it's painful to even talk about it. I can't stop thinking about what could possibly be going on, but I really hope that she's fine. I even prayed for her, and I hardly ever pray, but I'm really hoping she's where she was suppose to be right now. Please contact us soon. I just need to know that you're fine or else I'm gonna keep on thinking about it. Thinking about it now is hard enough as is. Just please, I beg, please be okay.

:DDD

So today was so much fun. I love the last day because I get to give out gifts to my friends and I love to see their facial expressions once they open them. Nothing compares to seeing how happy they are after I give them a gift. It's just smiles and happiness all around. Even giving a person just candy cane made them really happy. I have James a candy cane earlier and he was like I can be a walrus now and I just cracked up laughing. Then Kevin couldn't stop petting/touching his polar bear that I got him. He didn't let anyone touch it at all. Mary could not stop saying OMG the whole time after I gave her the swan. I swear, the smallest things make people so happy. It just makes my life complete knowing the ones I care most about are happy. That is the true meaning of the holidays. Being with the people you love and having a great time. Then we went out to Hometown Buffet for dinner cause BJ's was packed. We all sang to Debora as an early birthday celebration and I had a great time. I felt so happy leaving cause everyone was in a great mood. High fiving people and giving them hugs made me even happier. This moment right now is what I'd love to feel everyday, and I'm thankful for all the wonderful people in my life :]]]]]]]]]]]

You know

I'm looking forward to many things over break, but the one thing I hope that happens are nights where I stay up confessing things to a person. I just love those nights :D Hardly happens, but it's nice to just let all the secrets out instead of keeping them in. Mary knows what I'm talking about xD But I feel so comfortable too because then I'm not hiding anything. I swear somethings wrong with my stomach and back. So much pain earlier D: And apparently, I crashed into a windmill according to Jay. That was so random, but funny. I feel like writing letters for fun now. Except my hand will start cramping >.< At least it'll keep me busy if I remember xD Good night worlddddd :]]]]]]]]]]

Lalala.

Today was fun even though I felt a little out of it. I finished wrapping/putting all the gifts together :D Woohoo. Just sad I couldn't decorate the candy canes like I do every other year. Oh well, it's the thought that counts. No one keeps the tag anyways and I spend over an hour on them >.< I have so much ribbon left that's holiday related haha. Excited to give gifts and see people's reactions. That's what I love most about gifts, seeing people's reactions. Oh the excitement begins. I'ma sleep with a smile tonight, that's for sure. YEEEEE. So excited :D Good night world & I hope you all have a wonderful day :]]]]]]]]]]]]]

"Everyone is struggling."

Those are the words I needed to hear. That just made things a lot better.

Something is bothering me but I don't know what.

Moments like these just kill my day. I keep on thinking what it may be and realize that maybe everything is bothering me. I just don't want to say anything though. When things are bothering me, I like saying it in person cause if I don't, I'd probably just cry to myself while I write it. I hate that. Not because I'm weak, but I've been strong for too long. Just shows that a lot is bothering me when I never really realized it. Random moment of sadness right now. This sucks.

I hate feeling like a bad person.

I feel terrible for ditching you D: I couldn't let it go and I can't forgive myself for it either.

Ahh...

Just finished some, not even half, of the gifts I need to give out. Satisfied with the ones I did finish though. I still have so much left to do. Finish wrapping the handmade gifts, label/decorate all the candy canes, organize everything, do homework, and just relax. I just finished the letter that took me about half an hour. I'm a slow writer and messy at it too. My finger is red from squeezing the pen too tightly. I put on lotion so it felt funny. I only want to sleep now. Looking forward to Fridayyy :D Hopefully I can go though >.< Good night world & have a great week! :]]]]]]]]

A short one.

Gonna summarize real fast about my day so I can sleep. Went to the park, witnessed a car accident (nothing big) but the car left, almost cried >.<, stressed over nosy people (gahhh), and just blah right now. Finished the letter for homework and it made me really happy. I was so close to telling you in Avid today about what's going on, but you told me to tell you later. So I was like yeah sure and of course I couldn't tell you later cause other people tagged along. But yeah, I was on the verge of crying in class. Ahh man the tears were building up, but I wasn't willing to let myself cry. I just have to stay strong through this. I only thought about telling one of two people, but seems like I can't even tell either one. Something always happens or gets in the way. But I'm only gonna say it once, that's for sure. Keeping it in will only hurt me more, but I have to say it face to face. This problem that changed my whole life is a secret I can't even say and it's slowly eating me up. I just wish I could tell someone, but it's just not that simple. Life never is... I only want to tell one person and even that is too much to ask for. Someone needs to save me from everything cause nothing seems right anymore. I only want someone to sit there and listen with no one else around. That's it. Good night world :]

Don't you wish your problems could just disappear into thin air?

Cause right now that’s all that I want. A stress free day for once in my life. Is that too much to ask for?

Why D:

I just want to disappear right now. It's like right when things are perfectly fine, something just straight up kills it. And I have to act like everythings okay when its not. Why do people have to butt in on something thats none of their business. Gahhh, just so frustrated. This is the LAST thing I need to stress out about right now. Honestly. Why why why why why why D:

MESA

Oh and I also forgot to mention, I did my eggdrop today. Threw it off of the 4th floor and all 3 eggs lasted :D Although I'm sure I have to read more into the rules, but that was like :O Debora would try to open the box before I got there though >.>

YEEEEEEEE :D

I got into Sac State :D 2 down, 3 left to go. And the wait continues on. What's funny is that when I least expect it, I find out if I get accepted or not. I'm really waiting on one more school. I just hope that that isn't the school that rejects me, but I'll just have to see. Good night world & good luck on finals once again :]]]]]]]]]]]]

Time.

Crazy when you look back to how things were a year ago and notice all the changes. Kinda sucks, but it shows you that things never stay the same. It sucks how people change too...

Yeah.

I hate it when one little thing kills your day. Although I'm sad about it, hopefully I can still get it soon. Ahh man, well I'm almost done with gifts, sorta. Being a delinquent was interesting. Gabe sure plays a tough body guard thats for sure. And then Valerie pointed out my hair flying in the corner of the camera xD I couldn't stop laughing, but it wasn't that bad compared to filming Into The Wild xD I got some weird looks cause of the scars on my face. It was funny filming though, I must admit. Can't wait for it to all come together :D

Darn it. Not again.

"She dreamed of para-para-paradise..."

I swear this song is always stuck in my head right before I sleep >.< But I love it :D I can't stop listening to it. Hopefully things will go well this week. Although my left thumb feels dented and my middle finger and my right hand is growing a blister (I feel the pain without even moving it), this better be worth it haha. Or else I'm going be sad cause I'm very proud of all of these handmade gifts. I realized I didn't take a picture of one of them D: Hopefully I remember tomorrow before I give it. Dang it, can't believe I forgot. Well I get to be a delinquent tomorrow. This is should a blast xD Good night world & best of luck to everyone with finals :]]]]]]]]]]]

Ahhh

Paradise has been stuck in my head for the longest time. Oh such a calming song. My legs hurt so bad and so does my fingers. Dang it pointy paper D: Good night world :]

Hmm...

Paradise~Coldplay

I realized that I'm always in the mood for slow songs. Like the first thing I listen to is either a song I really like that might be fast or a slow song. I guess slow songs really calm me down. I wrote that before I decided to put that song up xD I chose that song cause I really like it :D So yesterday had a lot of ups. I got accepted to UOP with a scholarship! YEEEEEEEEEE!!! :D That just made my dayyy and now what seems like the rest of my high school year that's left. Ahhh man, I was gona cry when I found out, but I held it in xD And then the dance was pretty fun. It was cute seeing everyone with their dates and being all dressed up. It wasn't as fun as previous dances, but I still had a great time :]

Ahh man.

My back hurts, it's late, and I feel like I let you down. I'm sorry.

How sad.

Isn't it funny how you try to help someone and they just hate it. You're only trying to help them and they go all wack on you. Makes me laugh to see how pathetic people can be. Grow up.

Just unsure.

I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. Not sure what, but just something. I'm waiting and waiting, but nothing happens. So I sit there and continue to wait. Wait until someday, things will hopefully be alright again. Maybe that's what I'm waiting for.

I'm so bored these days it's quite sad. My life is like -________- cause I have nothing to do and feel like I have no one to talk to. I just feel out of it. I mean there's always homework assignments for me to do, but I keep on forgetting >.> Then when I want to tell people things, I hold back. It's not that I don't want to tell them, but it's because I'm just tired of always having to talk about my problems. There has been so much going on since that Friday that I feel so lost. Incomplete. I want to tell someone, but I can't. Not because I don't want to, but I just can't say anything. I know keeping all this inside doesn't help, but the one person I need to tell everything to is always busy now. I hardly see her and it sure doesn't help. But at least one of my friends knows all that's going on since our families have gotten closer recently. It's nice to tell someone who won't judge you, but it's also hard since we don't even talk once a week at times. I'm tired of keeping it all in, yet I'm not willing to let it all out yet. All these problems in my life right now are wearing me out. When the time comes, I'll say it all, but to who will I open up to is the real question and can they even do anything about it is what really makes me wonder. I feel the need to tell at least one person. It's such a crazy thing to just keep to yourself. But maybe that's what I need to do. I need to keep my word and that's the main problem. I want to tell someone, but I can't. Good night world & have a great Thursday :]

Lalala

I find it crazy how this describes me exactly. I'm still a kid :D The parts that stuck to me the most would be the first sentence, lyrics part, fighting hard, and the wishes. Well I always feel like I try so hard, yet sometimes its never good enough. I get over it though. The lyrics part is so true. I always learn songs after listening to them a billion times cause I can relate to them so much. Yeah, I think I deserve more than what I get, but who doesn't? And for the 11:11 wishes, I realized that wishing changes nothing a long, long time ago. So I just wish for people in general. Better than moping around wishing for someone. So yeah, I think a lot of people can relate to this. Especially me. But this post really made me happy. So did that new Taylor Swift video :D Good night world :]

Oh no.

I'm so tired I feel like I can't comprehend anything or think straight. Ahhh good night world :]

Pleased.

Don't you just love serious heart to heart conversations? They make me happy just to open up to the person. I remember in the summer I had this really long conversation with someone, and I felt so pleased and happy afterwards cause I could just tell that person anything and everything. It's much different talking about things in person than online. It really is. It's like I could finally open up and tell someone how I've been feeling. I almost broke down crying >.< but I held it in. I wonder if they know or not. But either way, time felt neverending. It was like an hour or two that passed by, but it felt nice to just let my feelings out to someone who has been there for me since the beginning of it all. It felt great to know that someone really understands me.

Just another day.

Didn't do much besides wrap and work on gifts. I feel accomplished especially on the handmade gifts :D Good night world & have a great week :]]]]]]]]

Ah man.

Words can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for those around me & how much they care. Today I went to Etech and my teacher said he had an appointment so he was going to be late a few minutes. I wait for a while with this other guy in my class, and this lady comes with a "Class Cancelled" sheet and I'm like great... 4 hours of nothing to do xD So I went to Locke Lounge and no one was there. I felt all alone. I looked around and I'm like wait, that's Kevin! Thank goodness xD He was sleeping so I tapped him on the shoulder, but he didn't wake up so I just let him be. I pulled out the chair and it made this really loud noise and he woke up. I felt bad >.< He told me he had class at 8 so there was like 10 minutes left. After he left, I moved back to the top and studied for Econ. Then James comes in, leaves, and comes back. Later, Erin comes in and started talking about how terrible her day was so far and I felt bad. I still kept studying. I didn't finish studying until 10:30 >.< Yeah 2.5 hours just reading 4 chapters. Anyways, after more people come in, I see Oksana come in and I'm literally :O with my jaw dropped. She has this jumbo cake and I'm like O.O Whyyyy hahaha. I don't like attention, don't even lying. I hate when I'm like the center of attention. I can't stand it. So Valerie and Oksana tell me to get in the picture and Valerie takes like 10 haha. I was blinded by the flash afterwards. The cake was SO FREAKING CUTE. I was like :DDDDDDDDDD x's 10000000000 haha. You have no idea and she even got her shirt messy and I'm like you should've just left it plain and she's all no it's your birthday and I'm like >.<, that excuse xD So I end up leaving to a last minute culture club meeting at 11:00. We talked about Culture Club's Potluck on Wednesday and the food we're planning on bringing. Didn't get much done though. When I went back, everyone was there. Got lots of Happy Birthdays, and then everyone starts singing and I'm like -__-" I was talking to Debora and everyone was looking at me and I'm like oh I feel so bad cause I should be looking at them. Halfway through the song after I finished talking to her, I did and said thanks to everyone. Kenneth was all into it with his hands in the air and everything xD I cut the cake and Oksana and Debora did the rest. I just put the forks on the plate and passed them out to people. But after the singing and just looking at the cake and everyone around me, I felt so loved and cared for that nothing else really mattered. At that moment, I just felt so content with life. It's that feeling that just comes over you at a time you don't expect at all which makes it even better. The cake was funfetti, with chocolate pudding in the middle, and whipped cream frosting I think. It was crazyyy goood :D So afterwards, I rushed to the office with Oksana to put the cake in the office so it doesn't melt. Went to all my classes and so glad they didn't sing happy birthday. Would've been awkward just sitting there like I was during lunch xD I think I did pretty well, and I mean confident well on my Econ test. Not a 100% but hopefully an A. After that terriblee D: stock report, my grade dropped and that's the last thing I need with 2 weeks left. We're probably having one more test, the project, maybe even homework, and the last 2 stock reports put in and that's it. I need to raise my grade like 3% to make sure. This is the ONE class I'm struggling with, I'm just so close. I've really been trying so hard lately. I'm not giving up, I need to show improvement. English I'm borderline but I have an A. After school, I went to my locker and Kevin was just hanging out on his own. I think he was getting ready to leave and he asks me what I wanted for my birthday and I said nothing, don't worry about it and he's all no and what not. So I made a compromise xD that we'll get each other Christmas gifts, I already was anyways lol. We agreed on that. Kevin is just one of those really chill and fun to be around friends. It's never a boring day unless he's passed out haha. I went to the office but everyone wasn't there so I went to the bathroom. Went back and I hear everyone coming close by xD I saw my duck part of the cake :D It was so cute. So we all went to the parking lot to get ready to go. We all met/remet Jessi's boyfriend again. They are just meant to be together. No doubt in my mind. But then Angela had to go because of SATs and I don't blame her. I would put that first too, and she's really nice to me. I wanted her to go to, but I don't want her future to be at risk because of me. That would just devastate me. So we all headed over to Carls Jr. while Debora and Dalia drop Angela off at the bus stop. We waited quite some time for them so we took random pictures. Then there's this lady who works there that was coming outside with another coworker. Valerie was setting up the camera and said "Look out" and she jumped back wondering if there was an animal that was going to attack or something when we were just taking a picture. She was also wondering why we were all smiling and she was all like D: Hahaha. It was so funny cause she came back not too long after and said oh time for round 2 LOL. She was so hilarious. After Debora and Dalia got there, Debora tells me that we're going in and everyones like aww plan is over haha. I HECKA fell for it too. I was kinda thinking in my head "Why Carls Jr.? We can go there any day, but I'm like whatever. I'm not complaining." Turns out they were tricking me in thinking we were going there haha. I'm SO gullible. Like Mary messing with me about her CSU apps at like 11:59 on Wednesday D: So not funny. I was worried for her like crazy! xD We went in, ordered our food, reminisced about the past, talked about our futures, Valerie calling guys at the restaurant cute, and so much more. It felt like we already graduated and we're all meeting up for dinner. That was just so surreal to me. The food was delicious. I swear I can hardly eat anymore. I use to be able to eat like a truck driver, no offense to them but I ate a lot before, and now I can hardly finish my food >.< Which is terrible cause I'm spending money on it. I ended up ordering Chocolate Cream Pie because it's my favorite xD Once we got it, Valerie started wiggling it and the waiter in black was basically all WTF hahaha. He was right behind her and she didn't know. Then later, the guy she thought was cute was behind her setting up the tables and she did the same thing. She didn't even realize it until we left. I hope everyone enjoyed the pie too, but I was stuffed. I only ate like half of it. We got our bills and went to pay. Then we took forever trying to split the money up and everything xD It was 7:27PM and we were all freaking out cause we were gonna be late. Mary, Valerie, and I left first to save seats and stuff, while Dalia and Debora came later. Param went home after dinner. So we got to the planetarium a little late but we still got to watch. The first show was more historical while the second one was when the guy told us about all the different constellations. I found that so captivating. I swear I could've fallen asleep if I wasn't forcing myself to stay awake. I totally want something like that in my house in the future. It was freaking amazinggggg :D We asked a few questions to the guy who worked there and went out to the hallway to take pictures and goof off xD We were so loud. OMG and then Valerie almost knocks off the bottom row of the dinosaurs mouth xD That picture was hilarioussssss. Totally a keeper xD Then we went outside to take pictures and we end up choosing the poop smelling tree one. It was all bad cause Dalia tried climbing the tree, Valerie touched the leaves and slipped, and Mary I think touched the leaves too. I just stood there and Debora tried setting the camera. We took a few pictures there, in Locke, in the parking lot, just everywhere. I swear, today was so memorable in every way possible. I was just blown away with everyone's efforts to making my day special. It couldn't have gone any better cause I didn't even expect most of it. I seriously didn't. My friends and family really made my day one to remember and I sure won't forget it. They really don't know how grateful I am to have all of them in my life. I'm truly honored to know each and every one of them. They all changed my life one way or another. Thank you all and there's quite a bit to read for once xD It's been a veryyyyyyy long time since I posted this much. This took me half an hour to blog about xD Blogging is very time consuming. Oh man, on the day I started my blog, I should reread everything from Day 1. That will take forever though xD I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Congrats to my friend Sierra for getting into UOP and a very good scholarship! You truly deserve the best :D Last note to my friends: Thank you guys for never giving up on me and staying by my side to motivate me and push me to my full potential. I really don't know what I would do without you guys in my life. Good night world & yesterday was A Wonderful Surprise :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

:D

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. We don't care if a guy calls>OR TEXTS< you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. That it can't wait till the morning. Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me. Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood im in. Let us pay for you! dont 'feel bad' We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say 'thank you. Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed. You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up. Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don't get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that. Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful' i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of. On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; ) Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!! Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it. Give the nice guys a chance. Guys repost this if you agree. Girls repost this if you think it's cute.. Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.
Life is too short to complain about everything that comes your way so stop and smell the roses in life because you might never have another time to take it, so take your time because they are all different in every way, so take chances in life, if it doesn't work out then fine, there are always more roses to smell.

One of my friends on Facebook posted this and I agree with it whole heartedly. Not only does this apply to girls, but guys do the exact same thing too. I thought it was cute though.

So today was okay. I didn't do much. Random guy trying to play Uno with the others xD Then Ali was all like "abort mission" and Gabe said he "had to go home now." Haha it was so obvious they didn't want him to play xD Kevin was all "Amy let's go to the library" haha. It was funny. Feel bad for the guy but it is kinda creepy just watching and touching them. Just saying, you don't do that to anyone you don't know. Sometimes, not even to people you do know. It's weird. But other than that, I didn't do much. Got another section done and all my homework done early for once :D So, that's all. Gonna get some sleep for once this week. Only got like 6-7 hours a night >.< Good night world & have a great Friday, I'm just hoping for the best and not expecting a thing :]]]]]]]]]]]]

:O

It's Decemberrrr (It's gonna be really cold now). This is my 600th post! Oh snappps hahaha. Wow, it's only been a year. Imagine next year haha. Now that will be something. Excited for tomorrow :D I just want a fun day, that's all. Well today should be a fun day too. I feel accomplished after that test. So close, but hey it was much better than what I could even imagine after that last one. Ahh, this week has been really productive and I'm glad. Just get to sleep in soon. After next next Monday, sleep in alllll dayyyy :D Must finish gifts :O Omg, I gotta get one asap! Darn, I'm losing track of the days now. Must keep up. Well I got the job shadow part too so I'm excited for that. Lots to look forward to. Good night & have a great Thursday everyone :]]]]]]]]]]]]]