Things aren't always meant to be.

I finally came to accept that. No matter what happens, things will always find a way to turn out how they should. I watched the first episode of Once Upon a Time today and I freaking loved it! I was going crazy during the first ten minutes. New tv show to watch on Sundays now. Super excited for Glee tomorrow but I should be worrying and working on my speech >.< So nervous for Friday. Also, Happy Halloween everyone! I didn't do anything but give Jade a gift and eat Payday from my mom and M&M's from my teacher. Oh snap, need to pay Angelica back! I hecka forgot D: She should've reminded me too. Will do that tomorrow, hopefully I remember.

11:11 I just wish for good things, please.

So I also realized today that there's always one huge disadvantage in being nice to everyone. People take advantage of you like it's nothing and it sucks. Not saying it happened today or anything, but it just happens. All the time actually and it hurts. It really does. So Angelica told me the guys were already calling "dibs" on who they want to take to prom. It's so dang early! Hahaha. It's like 5-6 months away? Even I dropped the subject. Still deciding if I should go or not >.< I probably will, but with who is what I'm wondering. Maybe I'll ask someone who doesn't go to my school, but there really isn't anyone though. Who knows, I got time to think about this later. I'm more stressed out about this week, ESPECIALLY tomorrow. Hopefully he gives us our dates, but PLEASE do not have me go this week and I'll be the happiest person alive. Still gotta get my outline done since I didn't because I was going to go to the computer lab to finish, but then Hannan told me she couldn't go to TA cause she was in the computer lab. Then Mrs. Jara needed help with something that took me the whole hour and a half and I didn't even finish so I'm like oh man it wasn't meant to be. We'll see, but I'm nervous. Good night world & don't eat too much sweets :]]]]]]]]]]

x.x

Yeah, I think I'm done for the day. Did nothing except watch over my cousins. Ahh man, Sunny is growing up and he's not that hard to handle, but still, things change a lot over time. At least he was pretty calm but he thinks I'm Brandy xD Then Darrian, well he just talks a lot and gets bored easily, but he's always so silly. He'll always be DD #1 no matter how many times he tries to deny it. Almost started tearing up cause I was thinking about the funeral everyone went to, but I didn't. Maybe that's why I haven't gone to one yet. I won't be able to handle it at all. But yeah, no homework done which means tomorrows gonna be a really fun day >.> Thank goodness I got 5 hours or else I'ma be freaking out. It's time I dropped cause it's doing me no good at all. Good night world & have a great week while I'll be like D: until Saturday night.

It's over.

I don't feel anything for him anymore. I think it's for the best. What I felt was great, but sooner or later, I knew I would get over it. At least we're friends, but I feel kind of free now. Not sure how to explain it. I've tried getting over it before, but something or someone always tells me otherwise. Now this time, it just happened. I saw him and didn't feel the same anymore. I think it's because I knew nothing was going to happen, so I just got over it. Well either way, no more guys for me unless another one comes along. I should really do homework now >.< Also will blog I don't know when, but sometime soon. Just got so much on my hands right now, I don't even know how I'm going to make it through this week.

Man.

Can't feel my legs anymore >.< The dance, spirit week, and talent show was all really fun. Too tired to type anymore. Will upload pictures & blog on Sunday or whenever I get the chance. So busy lately D: Good night morning world & Fall Rally is going to be crazyyyyy :]]]]]]]]

Procrastination leads to no blogging D:

11:11 I wish for a good day tomorrow for everyone.

I don't think I'll be blogging much for two days cause there's so much going on. So lame, I know. I have so much to say about today like the guest speaker in my TA period, the super epic Jenga game, the bullying powerpoint that was so freaking hilarious, and lots of other random stuff that you guys read about which I don't know why xD Unless I tell you to haha. Super excited for the dance tomorrow and then Fall Rally on Saturday. I'll be like X.X on Sunday and I have a test and 2 outlines due Monday. This will be a weekend that starts up and might end down >.> Who knows though. Got most of my costume ready. Oh yeah, ready to have some fun tomorrow that's for sure. Good night world :]

It's 12:20AM.

Oh man I'm so tired and haven't been up this early/late in so long. Yeah, now I know why. Finished 4/7 notes THANK GOODNESS. This is way easier the second time xD Still, I'm a procrastinator. Big time. Good night world & have a great Thursday :]]]]]]]]

I didn't get to blog about my very interesting day yesterday.

Basically the highlight of my day yesterday was free period because we played Jenga the whole time and it was hecka funny. Apparently I'm now called the "architect." Yeah, I don't know why. I knocked it over twice xD Ali was so gungho about not losing that it was hecka funny. Gabe and Anthony knocked it over once and I don't think Tony or James knocked it over at all. Then we stopped playing and James builds this empire tower thingy and Tony was gonna throw a piece of the Jenga through the top and then Jay would have to do something that I will not say, but then Gabe got up and the whole thing knocked over xD It was hecka funny. But everyone was really into it and it was really funny. Best free period I've had in a very long time. Hopefully, there's more to come. Oh and then when I get home and go on my wall, I see this song with his name as the title and I'm just like O.O How weird! I was seriously just starting to get over it, and well then that pops up so I showed him. Then at the end of the song, I find a song by the exact same band with MY name and I'm like WTHeck. How is it even possible that BOTH of our names are song titles from the same band. I'm seriously like uhhhh what the heck haha. Yeah, it was sure something, but like he said, it's really weird hearing a song with your name in it. Really, really weird. Seems like I might not be getting over him now. There's always a sign that keeps telling me not to give up, and I don't know why. This is all part of Mary's plan xD I even told her so hahaha.

Today was Multiplicity Day and I was twins with Valerie. We wore similar clothing, but not exactly the same thing. So the colors were right, but yeah. It was really cold today and I wore a skirt. Good thing I had leggings on, but I was freezing. In Etech, Mr. Crawford went over our schedules for next semester and I haven't had a teacher try so hard to help my education besides my high school teachers. Like it's really obvious that he cares about his students. He also told us his life story basically. He needed a 2.0 to be on the basketball team, so he got a 2.0. Then there was the draft so he had a 3.0 to not be elligible for it. Then he went back to school and got a 4.0 in order to get a free education paid by from his job and got his PhD. He even said that he got married at 19 then divorced and got married again and adopted kids. He was about to kill himself until one of his friends told him that more people in the world like teachers, friends, family, etc. care about him too much. And there was only one person who hated him: his ex-wife. That last part was hecka funny. But he never stopped and kept on going. It was very motivational cause he said he went to Stanford and that it's not where you are now but it's what you want to do. It's not about how smart you are now, but what you want to be. Then he made a point that no matter what college you go to, that college is the best. Not the best for your major and stuff, but the college you graduate from is the best college there is. He talked about his friend and how he was one of the smartest people in his group (of friends I think) at Stanford. His mom got breast cancer and his dad died in a car accident. To help take care of his mom, he went to Fresno State and graduated there. He didn't let that get in the way of his education and continued on studying even if he was at Fresno State. It's pretty crazy, but it was very motivational. He wants the best for us and I was happy that he was trying so hard to help us. I don't know about other people in my class, but it really made me happy and pleased that he was trying so hard because he didn't want us to be the like 60% who drop out of community college. He had percentages on the board and talked to us about them and what they meant. I thought it was really helpful and I'm gonna talk to him about my schedule for next semester on Friday. I haven't really had many college teachers that really take their time out to do that. Lindborg does talk about preparing us, but this just sets the bar. I'm gonna miss having him and my class overall. I've learned a lot and always have a good laugh. Calculus I was bored out of my mind >.< Seriously wanna drop the class like now. Stocks went down again, but I'm hoping things turn around soon. Very soon. The movie Harrison Beregeon was super good! I think I typed the Beregeon wrong, but I loved the movie. Way better than the short story. That's the first movie I liked better and we've watched like 5+ movies already xD Ahh, I really liked it. Except they didn't show the part where she shot him, but it was still super good. At Culture Club, it was fun as always. Got food to eat OMG that cheese hashbrown thingy was THE BOMB LOL. I could've eaten a whole plate of that and I got this tiny portion xD The other bread thingy with nuts in it was okay. The mankeesh I didn't even heat up cause my moms like no >.> Took random pictures and talked about Spirit Week in general and Penny Wars. So yeah, I don't know what else to write except I'm excited for the dance and Fall Rally :DDDDD Time to do my notes. Man, I sure hope I finish this time >.< Yeah, I'm lazyyyyy :]

:]

11:11 I wish things would be okay for everyone else.

So today, what happened was after MESA I was going to my locker to make sure I didn't need anything else to take home. On my way there, I see this girl and she's with this guy talking. It didn't look like they knew each other, but I was going to walk by them. The guy then starts talking to me about a vending machine and going to the mall. I didn't even know him! I kinda didn't understand what he was saying, but I felt kinda bad and freaked out cause well it's school and bad crimes happen at school. After I said sorry and walked away, I turned around to make sure he wasn't following me or anything >.< I was a scared, but he was walking the other way. I just checked my email for school and there was a crime alert. The race was similar and I started freaking out thinking it was the guy I ran into, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. Pretty sure >.> Then after Econ, I was going to my locker and this lady asks me to donate money, but I said I didn't have any money. He just so happened to be walking my way and he was watching and we made eye contact. Ahh, awkward. Anyways, I'm really tired. Nervous for stocks tomorrow. Good night world & have a great Tuesday (we get our Key Club shirts tomorrow too!) :]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Senior Bucket List

1. Stargaze with someone or with a group of people :D

2. Say no to someone if it's a favor that I don't want to do.

3. Go to a concert.

4. Learn how to make a 3D Panda and firework origami.

5. Take 500 pictures with my camera for my Senior Album (Random number haha) I'm at 371/500. I'm gonna be done by like next month xD

6. Read 8 books of my choice (Must start reading again!)

7. Do something really random or different.

8. Apply for 20 scholarships (something has to be academic lol) 2/20 done.

9. Buy someone a singing card :D & bake someone something

10. Make 7 bracelets on my list of bracelets I wanna make for myself (PacMan doesn't count)

11. *Pending*

12. Be with the people who make me happy and make endless memories :]

13. Match shirts with a guy.

14. Sing in the rain :D

15. Try 3 new places (restaurants or fast food) that I haven't been to.

THIS. I will now make it though anything.

"We just don't have the power to change what is out of our control."

~Hannan Hawari "The Assignment"

Oh man, I love this quote. I even highlighted it and showed it to her afterwards xD

Snickerdoodles+ice cream=even better combo :D

Freaking melting Dryer's Vanilla Ice Cream is the bomb. That's the closest I'll get to a pazooki, but it's not super unhealthy at least xD

Well,

I had a feeling I was going to be sore today. I'm not even sore! But then I sat down to watch television to see if my feet were hurting at all. My right ankle hurts like heck when I touch it, but I don't feel anything when I walk. Oh the pain, but it was worth it.

Oh man.

So this morning I had this interesting dream. I was in class at school with everyone else. I was sitting in the front and everyone was like paired up with their desks like in grade school. Anyways, everyone was singing this song (some popular song on the radio), but then no one knew the rest of the song so I kept on singing until it got to the second chorus. Everyone was like staring at me and I was like awkward..... It was really awkward xD No one knew the words besides me after the first chorus. After I stopped singing, Hannan says something like you really know the words, but your voice is ehh. I was singing kinda quietly but not how I would sing like at home so my voice was cracking xD I was seriously laughing after I woke up cause I know my voice sucks haha. This dream really made me laugh cause I wouldn't expect Hannan of all people to say this xD And I think the song was Someone Like You by Adele. Oh well, it sure made my morning :]

Yesterday & Today.

I hecka forgot to blog about Friday, so here it is. Well it was free period and I went with the guys and Aman to the library to find their books for Avid. It was funny trying to look for books and we mostly sat around. I felt helpful xD Then Tony comes in and there was blood on the side of this head. He said he got into a fight and well I didn't believe him xD It turns out someone in the quad punched him on accident. Then he was gonna wipe off the blood with those sanitary wipes, but he opened it and it was like smaller than a post it xD Kevin couldn't find his library card so I let him used mine. Sat with Ali, Kevin, Bren and Kenneth until everyone got all their books. Who knew the library could be so much fun? Haha. Then it was also Movie Night and we watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. I felt like I was falling asleep, but I made it through the whole movie! Good thing. But it was pretty good and I really enjoyed it.

Today I took my ACT's for the first time. I must say, they were a lot better than SAT for the most part. I had problems finding my classroom, but I made it. My proctor was a teacher at the high school and he had this curly mustache. I'd never seen one in person before and it was so cool xD No one in my class was from MCHS, but I felt comfy. I dropped all my pencils on the floor though >.> The timing was either too slow or too fast for me, but I felt like I understood a lot more of the material on it. My essay sucked though. I also ran into Jamie before we took our tests and it was nice catching up with her. I eventually found Valerie and Pacific with the help of Param. Valerie and I finally found her mom's car. I HECKA thought that was her dad, but it was her moms fiance. I felt bad afterwards for assuming >.< He's a funny guy. Debora and Angelica didn't pick up their phones, so we decided to tell them to meet us at Burn's Tower. We ended up wandering around to see if we could find them. I ended up asking a lady where the Expanding Your Horizons was at and she told me it wouldn't be over until 3:00. It was only about 1:42 so we decided to eat. We ran into Mrs. Hilton and had a little talk with her. It was nice seeing her after so long. We both ended up getting curly fries cause everything was really expensive. We chilled outside, sat with the rocking chairs, sat at the wood table, took pictures, talked about random stuff, and more. It was nice just not being bothered or having a lot on my mind. I was just having fun with a close friend. I need more of those days. Then we went to the bathroom. So apparently, the flushing part had like arrows and stuff. If you press down it's like for heavy duty and up for light duty. I told Valerie and she was so confused and started testing it out xD It's suppose to save water. We took SO MANY failed pictures too. Went downstairs and everyone was coming in from Expanding Your Horizons. There were hecka people in green and I said "Man there's a lot of martians" xD We saw Debora, Angelica, and her cousin, and eventually we went in cause this lady walking by said we could. Then I hear someone call my name and it was Sierra! I was like omg no way! I see you again at the most random moments now haha. It was good cause we also caught up on stuff. We all gotta hang out again with Jennifer and Maryann. Oh we should all go ice skating or something xD Then Valerie, Angelica, her sister, Debora and I left to Angelica's house to work on the playlist for the dance. We got lost on the way to Little Ceasar's because we took many wrong turns xD At least we got there haha. Angelica's kitchen and her house in all was SO NICE. I was like :O It's all so cute. Her siblings are hilarious. And YES I did play with her brother's toy car xD And NO I'm not gassy Valerie. I kept on burping so she called me and Angelica's little sister gassy. She won't let me live it down xD It was the soda! Haha. I had like two pizzas. It was yummy :D But those curly fries were like OMG DELISH :D This is what happens when I crave food. I'ma gain weight this weekend xD But then all that ice skating really killed me, so who knows. We finished the final playlist and left for DCM. Oh and her dogs were cute, but they both looked the same to me >.< Got to DCM, and there was hecka people. The party room smelled really bad though. We left early cause it was just ehh and then ice skated. Ahh man it was HECKA FUN. At first, I couldn't skate at all. I was like D: I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall. But I didn't end up falling xD I ended up going a lot faster than I remember I could and I had a freaking great time. Kenneth skated for the first time I think and he fell quite a bit, but everyone helped him. Then one point Kenneth, Kevin and I were skating and then one of them fell which led to Kevin falling. I somehow managed to stay up... I don't know how. Then freaking Kevin had to keep on calling me Michelle Kwan the WHOLE time and then James called me that a lot too >.> Thanks a lot Kevin. But we skated, and Dalia and I skated a whole lot too. Like the whole time, we were basically skating together. She's fast though xD It's hard not having a lot of people skate the same pace as you, but I tried helping people and they got somewhere at least. Then Erika said it was like a while or something since she last skated, so I tried helping her too. Everyone seemed so new to it, which made it even more fun. I saw Becky, Elaine, Carrie, Samantha, Veronica, Kevin (different Kevin from our school), Eric, Vanisha, and I don't know who else but I'm sure there was way more xD It was good seeing everyone after so long and basically I felt like I was just having a reunion all day today. It was comforting. The songs were ehhh, and could've been way better. I wish they turned off all the lights, but the dimmed it and had those lights where if you're wearing white, then you'll glow. I skated a few times with him. First time we were just chatting, second time he came out of no where, and third time I was just talking to Kenneth and Kevin and he was there. Then Kevin brings up the whole Michelle Kwan thing again and Kenneth agrees and I'm over here like dang Kevin -_________- WHYYY D: I'm not even good. I'm like average. Dalia and I were two of the last three people on the ice rink. There was this other girl, Emily who was super good, but it was easier going faster without hitting or running into anyone. Omg after the smoothed the ice, it was HECKA more fun. I was like WHEEE haha xD Then me and this one girl almost hit each other >.< I almost fell quite a few times, but managed not to. It's scary to almost fall. As I was leaving, I thought everyone left, but then Anthony, James, Jenny and her brother were still there. James said bye Michelle Kwan and I'm like whyyyyy in my head. Dang Kevin >.> Then on the way home, I see Kevin (the one who doesn't go to our school) and his friends in a car going home. They were all waving and then my sister, dad and I waved back. It was kinda awkward cause they were all laughing and I'm like okay... Haha. Then later, I see James and Anthony in the car next to us. It was so randommm. Anyways, I had a great day overall. Everything was amazing and unforgettable. I just hope there's more times like this yet to come. My feet will kill me tomorrow though >.< Then I got homework. Ahh man. Good night world & have a great Sunday :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

P.S. This took me like 35 minutes to blog. I'm so slow hahaha

Those special people.

I'm thankful for all these wonderful people I have in my life. Like I never really take time to realize because I don't think about it, but when I'm not at my best, my true friends really show. I mean just today alone, I've been given so much encouragement to be happy that it's like overwhelming. I'm just surprised with how many people are there for me. Like really there for me. I'm so happy that I have people I can count on whenever I need them. They're all ears and no judgement and that puts me in a even better mood. So thank you for pushing me to be happy. I just need some motivation and you guys are just unbelievable. You really don’t know how much this means to me. Tomorrow is ACT + chillaxing + DCM/ice skating. I'm so excited :D Good night & have a great weekend :]]]]]]]]]]

Crazy stuff.

I can’t accept this at all. No matter how hard I try, it seems to annoy me even more. I just don’t get why now? After everything that happened, it’s like the worst timing possible. I’m so like confused, mad, and annoyed by this that I don’t even know what to do anymore. What’s worse is that I there really isn’t anything for me to do. Now that hurts the most. I'm sorry, but I can't be okay with her. I just can't.

Hmm...

11:11 I just wish for things to be alright again.

Seems like so much just happened these past few hours. I went from telling no one, to telling someone, to telling two more people after. Thanks Mary for making me feel better. Honestly, I wouldn't even have said anything if it wasn't for you. I just wish things were back to the way they were before. But I know that won't happen and that sucks, but it happens. At least you understand everything I said about them. I can't say it to anyone else though. At least I let it out. Even the tears were helpful because I felt better after. Whatever happens, happens now doesn't it? Good night world & have a great Friday :]

I just realized.

You haven't given up since Day 1. It's pretty crazy how much a person can count on another. There hasn't been a time you let me down, even with all the things that have happened over these pass few months. Through the good, bad, laughs, tears, and drama, you've been there all along. Even if I don't want to talk about stuff, you make me open up and I felt better every time because of it. Thanks Kenneth :]

To think I wasn't down enough as is.

I got my speech grade back today. I got a 91 on delivery and 190 on my outline. I'm hecka happy I passed, but I lost the bet. AGAIN. Seriously, I was SO positive I would win this one, and well I didn't >.> Just not sure how I'm gonna carry out the bet. Anyways, I was pretty sad thinking about stuff in Econ. Almost broke down, but gladly I stopped thinking about it. I finally told someone, so I feel better about it. Not everything, but still I wanted to tell you anyways, so I'm glad I did. Then James goes and shows me that super sad commercial and I'm like D: right now. It's so sad. And it's hopefully not based off a true story, but I was crying cause it was so sad. Just heartbreaking because it was so realistic. I feel like no one really gets whats going on. But the only thing I can do is accept it. Even if I'm at the breaking point, I'll heal. No matter how much I don't want you around, I can't be like "back off" or anything. You can hang out with whoever you want, but why the people I always hang out with. It just had to be you of all people. Time to head back to school >.<

The more I think about it, the more I realize.

It's not that I don't want to talk about things, but I just don't feel like explaining myself anymore. I know people will listen and try to comfort me, but maybe that's not what I want. Maybe that's why I want to keep things to myself. Just so no one will ask or talk to me about it...

It's time to stop worrying about useless things and start being happy.

Yeah, that's all I really want right now. To be happy. People need to stop caring about stupid things and just laugh it off. Like seriously, stop taking things so seriously. Not like your whole life will be dramatically impacted if you do or don't do something most the time. I think people are really like getting on my nerves right now. Stop asking for attention cause it's stupid and stop making a big deal out of nothing.

Today was the SFSU field trip. It was pretty fun. Just wished I gotta do the things I really wanted to though >.> I feel like I always get the short end of the stick. Like the things I always look forward to the most never happens. I think back to "oh if I was with someone else, it would've happened." But then even if I did that, I would've missed out on what I did at that same time. So I don't know which would've been more fun, but I don't know, I don't want to talk about it on here. That's the thing. I have something to say, but sometimes, I don't want anyone to know but me. Problem with blogs too. So much I want to talk about, but I don't want you to know. I just don't want you to know at all. Anyways, so we were stuck in traffic for a little bit. Our tour was at 11:00 but we got there at like 11:40ish. I wonder if they're tired of us going now that almost every class has missed the tours xD It was cool going on the San Mateo Bridge though. I was literally squealing to myself >.< I get overexcited over the smallest things. The cemetery made me really sad, which leads to something else later on. We got there, walked in a circle, took pictures, saw zombies chasing one another, Valerie got really scared, went to the bathroom and bookstore, the chalkboards in the stalls were creepy especially the one I read, and went back on the bus. On the way to Pier 39, we went through Golden Gate Park and Mr K. told us some stuff about it. Even though we didn't see most of it, it was still really nice. Also saw my "grandma." I tried taking a picture of it, but we went past it too fast. Finally got to the Pier after a crazy ride there. Had no idea where to go. We ate at Bubba Gumps and it was really good. I wish we sat by the window though. But I had a fun time. Didn't expect the others to be there or him to come over >.< Yeah it was awkward the first time. Not even gonna lie. And Oksana was just looking at me funny. I just realized I got in your way at the bookstore and at the gift shop. Now I feel bad >.> The four of us went to take pictures, which took way longer than I thought and didn't even take them with the guys. I just wish there was like more time left, but it could've been worse. I was hoping things would've ended off better, but it wasn't bad. Got to hang out with Oksana for like the last half hour helping her find stuff to buy for her mom and brother. I didn't find much. NFL shop was too expensive. I think I'm most bummed about not going to the mirror maze and the arcade. It was like the two things I looked forward to the most, and I didn't even get to see it. Ahh whatever, complaining gets me no where, but I wish we went cause I was so happy about it last night. Well, now it seems like I'm second guessing my feelings. Why must things be like this >.< I think I'll just wait and see. If you guys have something going on, I'll just forget about it before I get hurt. I don't need this again. And to whoever's reading this, don't ask me about any of this because I don't want to talk about it anymore. At least I got out of town. That was all I really wanted. To just get away from everything, but seems like something's got to happen. But it was really fun day, even with that funky smell xD Well I'm going to pass out soon. Good night world & have a great week :]

The truth is...

I'm tired of not being friends or secretly disliking you. I'm just GAH from it. Like I'm emotionally drained. I don't care anymore. I'm just gonna try to start fresh. I hate feeling like I hate you when I don't. I really don't. I just wish things weren't like the way they are, but you're not trying to take anything away from me. I'm just losing what I thought was mines, when in reality, I'm the one drifting away. I have tried starting fresh, but one little thing gets in the way. And maybe that means it's time for me to move on, cause I keep second guessing myself. Maybe it isn't meant to be all along. Maybe now is the time to forget you before I fall even harder. The more I think about it, the more my feelings fade. But then you find some way to make me fall again. I guess only time will tell, but I'm tired of waiting.

xD

Some places I haven't tried:

~Burger King                  

~Papa John's

~Quiznos                         

~Chruch's Chicken   

~Carl's Jr.                        

~Jack in the Box          

~Dairy Queen                  

~Arby's

~Taco Bell                                   

~Del Taco                        

~IHOP      

~Sonics (tried one onion ring)      

~Long John Silvers         

~Pizza Hut

 

Woohoo, I've made progress since February xD

Hehe we talked ;D

Good night world & have a great day tomorrow :]

My fail moment.

Well a few seconds ago, my dad told me to search up n1wireless.com in the search bar. But, I heard n1virus and then it goes to bing and H1N1 virus pops up. I ask him if I can leave and he says, "no what did you search up?" I said "n1virus" and he says no I said "n1wireless" hahaha. He wasn't speaking clearly enough for me xD Oh what a fail.

YEEE :DDD

Words can't even contain my excitement tomorrow. I'm like bouncing off the walls inside xD Yeah, I'm just that excited. I hope we go to the mirrors thingy though :D Even a fortune teller would be cool, not the real ones but the ones in those boxes lol :]

Oh wow.

You IM me right when I was thinking about IMing you ;D

I always wondered what it would feel like to have the person you like, like you back.

Would be nice to someday know how this feels like.

"Nothing good ever happens without a fight."

From The Lying Game: East of Emma. Oh man that is so true.

So last night I was listening to the radio and The One That Got Away played and I just freaked out cause they never played it before. Then today they played it again on the car ride home and I threw my fists in the air all smiling and my sister and dad saw me. My dad was like WTF and my sister said I shook the whole car. I guess I was really happy cause I didn't even feel a thing xD

Why >.>

Why do these shirts have to be so cute. Seriously D: If only I could buy one >.< But the really cute one is the hoodie which looks just like the crewneck, but it's a hoodie. Not on the picture, but it's on their website. If onlyyyyy. Too bad you can only pre-order them until the 21st.

Oh yeah.

I must remember to blog about that story of the number 11. I remember watching it in a television show when I was little. Ahh, it's so cute :D

You know,

I'm glad I'm not like a full on girly girl or tomboy. It's nice to be kind of in the middle if you get what I'm saying. Just being myself, and not more of one. I'm just me. Good night world :]

Well...

Never using that "emoticon" anymore >.> Oh man. Mary you just find this hilarious too.

Want want want...

We all want that best friend. The one we tell everything to. About our day, family, friends, the past, present, future, dreams, fears. Everything. Or we want those new pairs of shoes that just came in to our favorite store. The thing is, we all keep wanting and never stop to realize what we already have in front of us. If you just stop and think about everything you already have, you'd be quite surprised. We never really take the time to realize it. So stop wanting, and start realizing. Everything you could possibly have is basically right in front of you all along. Just be thankful for what you already have before it's gone. Life is a gift. There are many people that are less fortunate than you so suck it up and stop complaining. Help someone or do something to better someone else's life. I admit, I take life for granted too, but every now and then I stop and think about what I have and how great it is that I am living the life I have. You are lucky to even been living so don't take life for granted.

The guys & the girls.

The guys are always so chill and whatever about stuff. Even though they like to gossip sometimes, they're fun to be around. The girls are easier to relate to sometimes, and you can always talk to girls about guys for example. It's not terrible to talk to guys about guys, since they give out good advice. But either way, it's always fun to be around both. Except I favor the guys more when the girls are talking about how hot guys are and girls when guys talk about how hot girls are. I don't need to hear either haha. It's great to have both in your life though. They have your back and like you for who you are. Always makes my day quite interesting to hang out with either group or both of them :]

There will be your ideal guy out there. He may be in your life today, tomorrow, or a long time from now, but he's here somewhere.

So Debora wanted me to post this xD She said “its inspirational and good to know.” I don’t know, I was just trying to lighten up her mood haha.

Erika's Debut.

Mary ended up coming to my house around 5:20 or 5:30. Apparently Dana got lost too, so she followed her to my house. A lot of people got lost xD Anyways, we left to the party confused at where it was at. Well Mary was freaking out the whole time cause there were only weeds around us. We sat in the car and Mary did her makeup. Then Justin and James walks by without knowing, and Mary's just laughing. I also say Dana and Jay go in. Once we got to the entrance, they were announcing people's names so we waited with Pacific, Bernadette, and Aileen. I was looking at the scenery for a while and it was sure nice. They had this lake with the green grass as the sun was setting. It couldn't be more perfect in my eyes. We all went in, but then we couldn't find our seats. Kenneth told Aileen and I that we were sitting at Table 2 so we went. Both James' were there, but I had no idea who else was suppose to sit there. I was surprised a lot of the seats were empty though. So we sat down, listened, waited, and talked until it started. Debora and Angelica came a little after. We got our food and watched all these different performances, speeches, 18 Roses, 18 Candles, cake cutting, and wayyyy more. There was so much going on, but it was all great to take in. I loved the balloons everywhere :D I was like OMG no way hahaha. I wish I could've taken more pictures, but our table was on the side of the dance floor. The party kept coming along with interesting entertainment, the Father-Daughter Dance, videos, and more performances. I was entertained the entire time! Then James started mouthing words to Debora. Apparently he was saying vacuum when she thought he said f--- you. It was hilarious. And then later he added pitch to the end, which I'm sure you know what I mean from there xD Debora said it to Anthony and Tony when they were in line for the 18 Roses. After Erika and Gabe did their dance, it was party time. Took lots of pictures, talked to lots of people, and overall had a fantastic time. There weren't a lot of people dancing so there were a lot of stares, then there was a bug and butterfly flying around. But memorable things ;D It was freezing cold outside! I was like OMG like a windstorm. Seriously. Took more pictures and hung out with the girls cause I think all the guys left. Gabe and Anthony went and hugged everyone before they left. I think I left around 10:55 and since it was so windy, I closed the door and my hair got caught in the door >.< I was like, "What's tugging my hair?" Haha. Overall, I had a great time and wish I got there earlier to take more pictures, but it was a memorable experience that I know I won't forget. Happy Birthday Erika & I hope you had an amazing birthday with many more to come :]

Must Get.

1. The Unwritten Rule: Elizabeth Scott (in stores)

2. Extraordinary: Nancy Werlin (in stores)

3. The Future of Us: Jay Asher 11.21.11

In no specific order. I could read 1 or 2 first, but I have to wait for 3 >.< The first one, I kept seeing the first page on Tumblr. So the first time, I couldn't find the title. I just searched I don't know how many notes, but I finally found it! I can't wait and hopefully I can buy them all. See this is why my parents should just get me a B&N gift card. Unlimited books for me ;D

Yeah, I don't know why but I have to put the smiley face even if it makes no sense.

I'm not sure why people come to me for help, but it's nice to help people out. Guys can choose really good gifts. Not even kidding haha. I feel like my gift is nothing compared to theirs >.< If that's what they end up getting her. Good night world & tomorrow will be a very long tiring day for everyone :]

Lets be honest.

I could care less about how nice a guy's body looks or how big their muscles are. I just don't see what other girls see. I don't get why it even matters. I don't like guys for their appearance, but for their personality. Now that's a turn on. Not saying guys are unattractive or anything, but looks aren't a priority to me.

What do you want to do next?

Honestly, nothing.

That mood when you only feeling like talking to that one person and if they aren't on, then you don't want to talk to anyone.

Yup, that's me right now... You cheer me up without even knowing I'm down. Odd right?

YEEEEE :DDD

Haha yes, I am very happy xD So today I went to Forever 21 to get Erika her birthday gift, and I saw the necklace in the picture. I was like :OOO OMG grab one now haha. It's so pretty :3 Okay I have a lot of funny things to say about yesterday. During Etech, my teacher was talking about the show Sister Wives. It's about this guy who has 3 wives and they are all sisters. Pretty odd, but yeah. Then he goes into about this other guy who's trying to get like 100 kids with his wives. It was creepy. Then Vang had earmuffs on and he was like "Oh I bet Vang has two wives that's why he has earmuffs on." My teacher is funny and always likes to joke around. Then he brought up the time he went golfing and hit the ball into the water. He went to go get it and the ball comes flying out of the water and he's all puzzled and it turns our a scuba diver was underneath taking out the golf balls. That was funny. He also said he was with a friend one time and saw an old student of his. He forgot his name so he asked him and said his name was like Tong Le. He then brought up his brother Ug Le. I was laughing like crazy. Later on, I asked Verina a question about the drawing and he comes up to me and asks me what the block he was holding was. I said I don't know and he said it was a Cutie cause there were letters on the block that said QDS. I was laughing xD The S was hardly noticeable though. Before english, I went to the bathroom with Oksana. When I was done, I was trying to turn the lock, but the lock part only moved like half way. I kept on trying, but it didnt budge and then I told Oksana I was stuck and she told me to pull the door towards me.I try it and I did it like twice and nothing happened. I was freaking out and getting ready to crawl under the door if I had to xD Then she comes over and pushes hard on the door and it opens and I'm like OMG I'M FREE LOL. I was seriously having a mini heart attack in there. I was always scared it might happen to me, and it finally did. Freaking scary though. She saved me :D Good thing she was there! In english, Nicole had her presentation and on her works cited it said, "Socrates is the ugliest man in the world. And he is gay." Thank you Oksana. Along the lines of that, but it was so funny. Then Mr. K read it and got all mad about it even though he was trying not to show it, it was obvious. But yeah that was something. Then he finds a picture of him online and says yeah he looks gay. Then in the book we were learning about someone else and he says oh he looks gay. Later on he says oh yeah he definitely looks gay. Something like that, but it was so funny. It was like the highlight of the day xD He also said Steven "Jobes" again. I thought I was the only one who realized that the first time, but everyone knows xD Ahh, so funny. Yesterday was a very interesting day that's for sure. Then today I played Kenneth badminton. It was super fun since I haven't played in so long and didn't sweat that bad since I took PE last year. Even in PE I didn't feel like I was dying or that my face was overheating. It was still funny though. Overall, it was a good week, even with all the stress. Stocks are going pretty good too. Looking forward to this weekened :D

11 things to do in 2011.

1. Ride a ferris wheel :D

2. Go kayaking

3. Make 200 cranes

4. Get a different haircut

5. Experiment around

6. Take 2 pictures with a duck ^_^

7. Get something Colts related ;D

8. Ride a bike

9. Learn to make 2 new bracelet designs (not counting the relay for life ones)
10. Finish Shining Inheritance xD

11. Try some Pho

I thought of number 11 haha. I realized last time we went to Saigon Bay I didn't get a chance to order it, so maybe I can before the year is over lol. My dad says it's good and well its noodles so I don't see why it wouldn't be haha. I also did number 7 cause I got the necklace. It's Colts related :D Now I wanna wear it all the time :3 Only two more things to do, if only I could do number 2 though. I haven't gone through a whole goals list without forgetting about it >.<

Now I wish I was invisible...

Today wasn't terrible.

Besides scrambling to memorize my speech and end up forgetting a whole point, but other than that it was okay. Will definitely practice more next time. Not even sure about the final speech. I'll see in a few weeks. I can't stop listening to Invisible by Skylar Grey. First it's Someone Like You by Adele and my dad kept asking me why I kept on listening to it. For some reason everytime he walks by, that song is always on! Then on the tv Invisible played and now I can't stop listening to it and he commented on that too. Always bad timing. I don't really like my seat in avid. Now there's definitely no one to talk to >.< Must sleep somewhat early. Good night world & have a great Wednesday :]

& he made it safely :]

I can't wait for you to come home in a few weeks. I'll miss you a lot, but I hope you have a great time! :]]]]]]]]]]

D:

11:11 I wish for things to go right, for everyone. (My wish was along the lines of that)

Everytime that I stress, I can't stop. No matter how hard I try to calm myself down, it just never works. One stress comes into me, it's hard for it to leave unless I sleep it off. Tomorrow will basically be a great and terrible day. I'll be stressing like crazy over this speech, and once it's over, I'll hopefully be relaxed. Procrastination gets you no where. For some reason, no matter how many times make that mistake, I always do it again. I can never learn from it, and I don't know why. I swear it's because I have no motivation. I hope things change. Good night world & learn to do things ahead of time and not wait until the last minute like I do :]

Oh snap o.o

Things can not get any weirder right now. I'm not even kidding... Coincidences can be quite odd.

Best scene ever.

"Welcome to the Himalayas" ~Monsters Inc.

Abominable Snowman: "Snow cone? Oh, don't worry, it's lemon." Later on, "Oh would you look at that, we're out of snow cones. Let me just go outside and make some more."

I will forever love this scene for the rest of my life. It's SO freaking funny xD

I wonder if it's obvious.

That I like him. I swear, I'm like super obvious, but I don't know what you think. Maybe you know, maybe you don't. Either way, I hope things turn out to be alright. But it's senior year, and crazy things happen over time. Only time will tell... I'm SO unproductive. I can't freaking get passed this paragraph. Why is this so hard for me D:

:D

Today was a good day. I just realized you think of me in a way or else why would you tell me about that duck. I wonder if you realized that from me too... Anyways, the birthday party was fun. I wish we could've stayed more to hang out, but it was nice being with most of the family. Got no homework done, so tomorrow I'll be busy, busy, busy. Should sleep now. Ahh so tired. Good night world & have a great Sunday :]]]]]]]]]]]

Hehe.

Haha Ducklett :D Yeee, I got a car >.< Too bad I don’t have my permit. Soon to come, soon to come. But the party was pretty fun. I just got no homework done and watched X-Factor all day except I couldn’t fast forward the show. A good, but unproductive day, which means lots of work for tomorrow. Ahh man.

All this college stuff is so frustrating.

There is no time that fits right for my parents, so I can't see colleges that I want to go to. Also, SLO is too far for me to visit and that's where I really want to go to. It sucks that I can't do everything that I want before I apply.

You changed my life.

I hope to someday meet you and be able to tell you that in person. I have no idea how my life would be today if it wasn't for you, and I'm glad I don't know. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be here today. I hope to go to your concert someday and tell you all this. The whole story, but if not, I want is to tell you those 4 words because it means so much to me. It's crazy to think I might not be here anymore if it wasn't for you. It's been 5 long years, and not a day goes by where I'm not grateful. I will keep on buying every CD and supporting your music career. Thank you for being born and doing what you do. You honestly have no idea how much my life has changed because of you & no one can possibly understand how great I feel.

Yeah, you can't win everything.

Ahh man, this is why I don't want to rely on my parents, but I have no other choice... Good night world :]

I. don't. want. to. do. anything.

I'm in that mood where I'm all like -____- and just want to go to bed and sleep everything off. This review is the only reason why I'm awake, and I haven't even started it D: Gah. Why >.<

Yup.

When I listen to music on headphones, I hear everything. And I mean every little thing besides the lyrics. The instruments in the background are just so clear. But when I listen with speakers, I don't hear the instruments. Thank goodness for headphones :D And today was a good day. Nervous about my speech, but I will get it done on Saturday and practice with Mary over the weekend. So nervous for it >.< I think I'm more nervous about fixing my outline at the moment then actually speaking. Odd. Anyways, time to work on Lit on Film, but Econ was fun. I love group projects & this rain should stay :]

Today has had it's turn of events.

Well I was all sad and emotional when I started talking to people >.< I didn't expect James to ask me what was wrong and stuff and then I started crying -____- But at least I stopped, after like 3 times... Anyways, I never really needed people to cheer me up that much in the past. I know a few times I get down and my friends are always there to put me in a good mood. But this time, it's so different. It's something that just won't go away overnight. So thank you for just letting me tell you all that has been going on. Then I told Valerie about so much stuff. That made me happy too. When we talk, I just forget about stuff that bothers me. It's the fact that she always has something left to say. I'm never bored. Angelica's pictures from Pumpkin Fair were so funny! I sure got a kick out of that. I was just laughing like crazy to myself. Oh the great times. I was helping Kenneth with his english presentation even though I felt like I didn't do much xD But yes, *cyber high five* lol. Debora told me that if anything was bothering me, I could always come to her, even during class. I definitely don't want to interfere with that, but it's great to have someone to go to. Well I feel like there's always someone to go to, but I know she understands. And Kenneth, I'm not trying to be sad or anything. It's just a phase (hopefully) that I'm going through. I just need to find myself and I want some space to think stuff out. I wish I had more time, but I don't, and that scares me. But I'm being optimistic with everything going on right now. People trying to cheer me up and knowing that tomorrow will be a better day. No I'm not depressed. Not even sure what I'm going through, but I know it's temporary. I think I'm just lost in trying to find myself. But no matter what happens, I'll find my way eventually. Tomorrow will be another brighter (not literally xD) day. Good night world & thank you for just being there :]

Thank you.

Those two words, "You okay?" just made my day. I really needed that. Thanks James.

Isn't it funny.

How I want to laugh and cry at the same time. I'm really breaking down...
& just when I thought everything was okay again, something goes wrong. Then that pops up on my dashboard >.>

Good night world :]

D:

No one's on, which means there's no one to talk to. I'm all alone -_________-

11 things to do in 2011

1. Ride a ferris wheel :D

2. Go kayaking

3. Make 200 cranes

4. Get a different haircut

5. Experiment around

6. Take 2 pictures with a duck ^_^

7. Get something Colts related ;D

8. Ride a bike

9. Learn to make 2 new bracelet designs (not counting the relay for life ones)
10. Finish Shining Inheritance xD

 

Well I realized I never added a number 11 xD So I must find one now. It's crazy that I did so much :D

 

Resumming it up haha.

So I left off with eating lunch. Well, we took pictures (of course xD) and left to walk around the streets. Valerie and Angelica stayed because they didn't want to go. So the rest of us went off and wandered the mini stores set up in tents. They had some pretty cool stuff. We went back to the street with rides and games and I really wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel. But before I did, I watched Debora play games with one of the West High guys ;D Afterwards, Oksana and I went on the Ferris Wheel. Man, I was having the time of my life on there hahaha. It was that much fun (for me anyways xD) I would go on that for many more times, but didn't want to spend anymore money on it. Valerie and I went into the haunted house afterwards. It was hecka funny. She got scared with those blown up thingys and then one point she fell down xD She was running to the end for some odd reason and tripped >.< The floor was really uneven, but it was hecka fun haha. Haven't been in a jumperish thingy where it's a maze, but it was pretty cool. We then went to the Kids Zone to go help out cause of shift was over >.> Well, I didn't even volunteer much after... I feel horrible about that. Debora, Angelica, and Oksana started painting people's faces. I think Valerie did too, but eventually stopped. Oksana drew Hello Kitty on my hand and a panda on my face and Valerie drew a flower on my hand. I tried drawing a ghost on Valerie, which ended up being a Pac Man ghost/hairy woman. It kind of did look like one which was hilarious xD We eventually went to go walk around the tents cause she didn't go earlier. First we went to the Chinese Restaurant to see what time they closed and walked around the streets. Then we came back and then we had to go back and get some menu's so they could order. We ended up checking on the MCHS students that worked with the jumpers to see if they needed anything. We went to get Bradley some popcorn and Wesley and James some ice tea and lemonade. I swear, I made like 3-4 maybe even 5 walks to go get some lemonade for them xD

11:11 I wish for a great week :D

After that we came back and brought the menus and took people's orders and went back again. We did so much walking. And on the way back, the funniest thing happened! So there's this stand where you can have your name airbrushed onto a shirt. Well Valerie ended up seeing Hector's name on a underwear and we just started cracking up. Omg, it was SO funny lol. And that kettle corn was super delicious the second time we came back. Should've bought some xD At the restaurant, the food took a while, but it was nice talking to Valerie. Of course she would ask about him, even though there wasn't much to say, but she likes to know stuff haha. So we took everyone their food and we helped clean up. The day just flew by hecka fast, but it was so much fun! I did walk with Angelica before the face painting and looked at the different tents since she didn't go either. We got refills for the guys too and shaved ice. Wandered around too. On the car ride back, I was taking a picture with Oksana with the flash on and Valerie and her mom thought it was lightning outside xD I hecka forgot that I took a pumpkin home until Valerie's mom brought it up. She said, "You're going to have to carry that pumpkin into the restaurant with you." I forgot and was like OMG I do haha. My family was eating out at China Palace and it was hecka funny when I brought it in. People gave me funny looks, random people commented on it, and my uncle said "nice purse" lol. I had a heart to heart conversation with my aunt about college and my future. It made me sad to know that it's gonna happen so soon. But we went over to their house and I got to see Wunji and Rocket :D Overall, it was a super fun day except I'm super sore. No one else is though -___- Hopefully I didn't leave stuff out. Gotta sleep cause well today's been a blah day. I really felt like I wanted to be distant from people. Like after econ, I took the short cut and just went to the elevator alone for the first time all semester and I don't know, it felt good but I felt bad for not walking with Jessi and Nicole. After this morning in the lounge, even in the lounge, I just wasn't feeling in place? Hard to explain. Good night world & hopefully tomorrow will be a productive day :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

I'm unhappy and you don't even know it...

Summing it up.

Trying to sum up my day but so much went on it's gonna be hard to do this real fast.

11:11 It was a great day today and I had a blast. I wish that everyone can have a great week :D

Okay so I got to Valerie's house and I passed it cause I couldn't find the number anywhere xD We headed to go pick up Angelica and almost got lost. Haha good thing they been there before. It was a fun ride, chatting and watching the scenery. Well I like to just take it all in, and now I know other ways around town lol. It was out of town though. Anyways, I was like the direction person after Valerie couldn't find the right papers. We thought we got lost xD Good thing we didn't haha. But Oksana did. She had no idea where she was at and I think she was right behind it. We got to the Pumpkin Fair and went to go find Oksana. We eventually found her with her mom and brother. Some guy laughed at Valerie xD I forgot what she said though that made him say something. Then Debora got there like right after. Afterwards, we headed to the Kids Zone to help set up for the day. Next thing you know, it was our shift for the jumpers. Angelica and I had this balloon air tent thingy-ma-bob. I don't know what it was but man it was crazy! Hard to get in and one point almost all the balloons flew out cause of me >.> I could never get them to stay in. I played that chicken game which was hecka fun, but I never made it in xD I kept taking random pictures, like someones Yorkie :D, Angelica, Debora & Oksana, and James. Then Valerie walked around a lot and we had a balloon fight inside the jumper thingy. Wasn't even a jumper but I will call it that. So she threw one and it hit my teeth. I remember some boy was drooling on a balloon >.> After our shift was over, we went to go eat some hamburgers. They were pretty good but two flies landed on mines but I still ate it >.> Yeah, it was like ewww haha. Okay, I'll finish blogging tomorrow. My feet are KILLING me and I will pass out soon. The rest of the story gets even better haha. Good night world, hopefully I make it through tomorrow and don't get sick & have a great week (I'm excited for the rain :DD) :]]]]]]]]]]]

Today.

SO much fun :D Even if I had SAT's. I waited in line for 1 hour and 20 minutes. It felt like forever cause I watched as all my friends and old classmates go in while I stand there and do nothing. I talked to the girl next to me a few times, but that was about it. When we finally got in, I took my Calc 2 and Chemistry Subject Tests. The proctors we had were nice. I talked to Kenia during the break and after we finished. We finished at around 11:30 and talked until 12:30 after everyone else got out. It was nice talking to her since I don't see her much, but it was all school related though. Then after everyone got out, we just all chilled by the parking lot waiting for other people. Debora and I left to Chipotle to buy some food and headed over to the park. It was crazy fun. I made a mess and Debora has her own tree haha. Then we went to play on the swings and well I suck at trying to move on them. I got stuck, couldn't even get on while this little girl jumps on like nothing, and took random pictures. My sides were hurting from it >.< But I liked the wind in my face, even if I wasn't going as high as Debora. After we went to the walkway with the graffiti and took pictures with it haha. Then we went to the bench by the baseball field and took hecka random pictures on the bench...

11:11 I wish for a fun day tomorrow for everyone :)

...behind/next to the tree, and jumping photos, which all ended up failing haha. I love that laughing photo though. That was hilarious. We headed to the mall and looked around at stores. I thought Claire's was fun trying on the random stuff. I really like their accessories, but it's so expensive D: I don't have money to spend on stuff like that for those prices. Headed to the other mall after cause my sister's friends left. When I met up with her, we went to Forever 21, Hollister, Barnes and Nobles, Mrs. Fields (I think that's the name?), and back to Barnes and Nobles. I ran into Hailey at Hollister. I haven't seen her for a while now, but it was nice seeing her. Overall, it was a great day. I had hecka fun with Debora and I'm really looking forward to tomorrow :DDD I really do hope I get one of those "mini rides." Looks so freaking cool, specifically the Ferris Wheel. I'm trying not to expect much and have whatever happen, happen. Like James said, "aren't you suppose to expect the unexpected?" Apparently I'm a turtle cause I stay in my shell all day. Not always, but I do xD Ahh man, I'm so sleepy. But it was an interesting day. Need more days like today for sure :D Good night world & have a fun Sunday :]]]]]]]]

P.S. I can't believe two months already passed. Seems like the days are just flying by now.

When you talk about and remember all these random moments with someone.

:DDDDDDDDDD