Lalala.

Hmm haven't been feeling the best lately. Once one person is sick, it just spreads like wildfire. I keep hoping it goes away for everyone especially since we're on break. Ahh I'm so tired now >.< I finally looked at some prom dresses and I found one I like except the shoulder looks weird. Hopefully I can find a dress soon. Seems like everyone has an idea of what they want and I'm not exactly sure yet. I got to do scholarships and community service this break as well. So much to do but not enough time. Last spring break of high school... How depressing. So sleepy -___-

Senior Bucket List (updated again)

Well it's been a while since I last did this:

1. Stargaze with someone or with a group of people :D

2. Say no to someone if it's a favor that I don't want to do.

3. Go to a concert.

4. Learn how to make a 3D Panda and firework origami.

5. Take 500 pictures with my camera for my Senior Album (Random number haha) I'm at 582/500.

6. Read 8 books of my choice (4/8)

7. Do something really random or different.

8. Apply for 20 scholarships (something has to be academic lol) 15/20 done :DDD

9. Buy someone a singing card :D & bake someone something

10. Make 7 bracelets on my list of bracelets I wanna make for myself (PacMan doesn't count)

11. *Pending*

12. Be with the people who make me happy and make endless memories :]

13. Match shirts with a guy.

14. Sing in the rain :D

15. Try 3 new places (restaurants or fast food) that I haven't been to.



So far it's been about a month or so since I last posted this. For Number 6, I just finished The Hunger Games yesterday and Catching Fire today. It took me like 3 or 4 days for the first one and 5-6 hours for the second. One more book left. Oh this is gonna be good lol. For number 8, I've done 5 more scholarships within the past few weeks too. I'm getting a lot done but deadlines just suck sometimes. Number 9 I got a chance to bake cupcakes and a cake for my final product class. It's been good so far and people seem to like it. If only the frosting could taste just as good if not better. I came up with a number 11 but I forgot it... I'm making progress with this list lol. I think the ones I won't accomplish are 1 and 7. I haven't even been making bracelets anymore. So lazy and no time. I can never finish an entire list xD

It's been good.

So today I got up at like 6:30 to get ready. I thought about skipping, but losing some sleep wouldn't be too bad. As long as I didn't pass out on the job or something, which I didn't. So I learned how to make coffee. Well put it in the coffee machine xD Also did other fun jobs, but Lucky was such a good role model. He was really inspiring to me. Funny and random too. I still think he thought I was Japanese along with this other guy who bowed at me too >.< I felt kinda out of place for a moment xD But there were really nice people and I even talked to this lady who's trying to recruit more people for her club/organization. She was telling me how there are like Lincoln students and what not. Maybe I'll be able to help out more often. Key Club has been a little slow on events so I can fill up my time. I haven't done enough for my community this school year and I'm disappointed in myself for that. Must make it happen now or never. I spent the day baking cupcakes, watching tv, making frosting and whipped cream filling, and being lazy haha. I got to talk to Sierra for a while which was good. Sad I couldn't go see the Hunger Games with her since I didn't even do the baking yet and I had no money. I haven't even finished the book so I didn't want to ruin that either. Maybe sometime soon, but it was nice of her to call and ask. Well I really need to sleep. I've been watching Smash and Once Upon A Time for the past like 2 hours since I didn't finish/watch them earlier. Working on my final product took like 3+ hours. Yeah frosting is sooooo difficult. The worst thing about my day: getting a piece of skin cut off my finger. I'm exactly sure how I got it either. Just assuming it was after I pushed the cart filled with juice because my finger was burning like crazy after. A whole piece is gone and you can tell the different skin colors so much. It's quite disturbing and it BURNS like crazyyyyyyy. I washed it in water earlier and it burned bad. I could barely shower. I felt/feel disabled >.< and I don't even have it bad compared to others. I honestly only have a small idea of it, but man, it's terrible. I really just feel bad. I don't know how people do it, but they are real fighters. Anyways, I get to surprise a few people tomorrow and hopefully they like the surprise. I need to remember to take pictures of my cupcakes too lol. One more week and it's spring break already. More like 4 days ;D I need a break after this week. Good night world & have a great week :]

Mental Breakdown.

I'm seriously having a mental breakdown right now. I have never been this stressed at once before. Man I don't know how people can handle stress because I'm flipping out right now. I swear this sucks. Me+deadlines=horrible. I hate this. I really do. I guess if it's withdrawn, then it's honestly my fault for not doing it earlier. Yeah my life sucks right now.

Wow.

When you realize how important someone is to you, it's like everything kind of stops. Well that just happened to me. I don't know, but it just came into my head after reading someones post on Facebook. You mean a lot to me and I never want to lose you. I wish you knew that.

:D

It was a very good day haha. Practice was pretty ehh at first, but things turned out alright in the end. Everything was great. From the cheers to the banners to all the different performances, I loved it. It felt really rushed, but it was still a great talent show. "We Are Young" remixed by the sophomores to the seniors really touched me. I was so happy and moved by it, especially since it's one of my favorite songs. It's sweet how they did that for us though. I really did love it. I finally heard Oksana sing. So disappointed I couldn't watch >.> I've been waiting for this for 3 years and the time it finally happens I can't watch it. But it was filmed by several people, which in a way, makes up for not seeing it at all. Our performance was way better than I expected. Watching it come all together was great. Timing and positions were pretty much spot on and everyone knew what they were doing. It was so much fun, but went by so fast. Meeting of the Minds was definitely entertaining with lots to learn and see. Food was good too even though I only got a tamale. Then my toe dislocates right before I step into the car and well that was a painful car ride home. It wouldn't locate back and it when I move it a certain way it hurts like ----. No joke when I say that. I can take bruises and scars, but feeling one bone in your body pull like that is so painful and makes it hard to move at all. It's like you're paralyzed with pain. That's like the perfect description of what I went through. My mom laughed too which made me laugh cause it hurt that bad. I felt like a crazy person and she basically thinks its my fault for it happening. Everything is always my fault. I don't know why it happens to me D: I wish I knew why so it wouldn't happen but it seems to come up randomly. So it's been 2 1/2 hours since I uploaded the video that's only like 5 minutes LOL. Whyyyyyyy D: Youtube needs to make it's uploading process much faster. I have 9 more videos after this and I'm not staying up and waiting for them to all upload. At least I have tomorrow. I realized that yesterday during free period, Kevin was singing songs haha. I never heard him sing songs from the radio before. Well until yesterday xD But out of all the songs, the first one he sung several times was a Taylor Swift song. I was just like :O YEEEE hahaha. I didn't say that, but I was definitely thinking it. He also sang a whole bunch of Kelly Clarkson songs, but Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me just made my day haha. Oh Kevin can be so funny. Omg Angelica told me people were sleeping on the floor in Locke this morning. I'm just like what the heck haha. My dream+that=wackkk. I mean it wasn't exactly the same thing, but still it's freaky how similar they were. Then my mom made me fill out this form and she yells at me for not knowing all these terms. She then asks me what I've been learning in high school if I can't even fill out these forms. I got so ticked off I almost started crying. I hate how she expects me to know every single little thing when I don't. And when I don't, she blames me for never being smart enough. Well I'm sorry I'm never good enough, but we don't learn about all this financial stuff in school. I'm always a disappointment no matter what I do. Whether it be success or failure, nothing is ever good enough for them. Nothing. Anyways I'm gonna read a little bit before I sleep. Going to visit a few special people I never physically met in real life. Tomorrow's visit is going to a special place in my heart. Good night world & have a great weekend :]

Just tell me straight up.

I'm tired of these games that gets us no where.

Really now?

Okay I've been realizing this more and more this week. So here's the dilemma. What if you finally notice someone a way you never noticed them before? Like they've always been there, but you haven't thought of it as anything more, until now. I think it's just a phase, but it's odd. I never thought I would even possibly think about it and now it's just like woah. My feelings haven't changed, but the thought of it is just so different. I think I'm just missing them but this is just so hard to explain lol. I guess this is what distance does to people. It makes them think crazy things. I even felt like I made a mistake about the whole ____ thing and I feel bad. It's like I chose the wrong thing and I'll face the consequences. But something told me otherwise when I decided. This is just too confusing -__- So I heard from the weekend thing and there's no wait list. I wasn't bummed out because I kind of expected not going after the registration got full. But hopefully the tour will be fun and insightful. Making cupcakes this weekend and I got all the things I need. Can't wait for that whipped cream icing :D Yumm. Nervous for the talent show tomorrow. It's been sooo long since I've been in front of an audience so we'll see how this goes >.< Hoping for the best haha. We really need a solid practice tomorrow. So yeah, look what thinking does to me. I get these thoughts that I wouldn't expect to ever have and I don't know. I'm just so lost and confused with my feelings right now. I keep second guessing everything. Overthinking seriously gets you no where. If anything, it makes matters worse, especially in my case. I should really sleep now. Hopefully people will start to feel better because everyone is getting sick D: and maybe I'll find an answer to my problem. Good night world & have a great Friday :]]]]]]]]]]]]]

"The memory of being here with you is one I'm gonna take my life through cause some days stay gold forever."

Gold Forever~The Wanted

This would be a good graduation song :D So DeVinci's was pretty good. Got everything I need to bake this weekend too. Can't wait. I might finally make some chocolate cupcakes lol. I really hope this filling turns out the way I want it to. Hoping for the best. It was a pretty good day. I got to talk to one of my close friends which made me happy. It's good to just let it out and laugh about random things together. Oh we're so silly.

It's late.

Woah they changed the format on the posting part lol. Another row has been added. Anyways it was another good day. This week is flying by quickly. I got weird looks at the store today cause I was in my nerd attire. I bet the guy bagging the groceries was like what the heck cause I could tell from his facial expressions xD I was too lazy to fix my jeans so I left it haha. Oh well. No one said anything at least. So I was looking up more ideas for prom and well it kinda excited me to hopefully one day have a beautiful wedding like the pictures. Maybe not exactly like the pictures, but to see one so extravagant would be cool. I wonder what it's like to plan a wedding. I'm sure it's a lot of stress, but they come out so nice. It's amazing to me. Oh lights and color lol. They distract me. So yeah I got quite a bit to do these next few weeks. Maybe it'll die down after spring break, but until then, I'm a busy bee. I realized that I'm kind of distancing away from my friends and it sucks. I mean it's my fault for being busy, but they're also busy too so it's like it never works out sometimes. It bothers me that we don't have time to talk, but what's worse is that they are my really close friends. Two of them are my best friends. It sucks and I'm trying to balance everything, but it's been so difficult lately. I am a little stressed after Tuesdays class since I was rushing everything. I just have way too much on my mind. Anyways I should really sleep cause I won't be waking up tomorrow xD I already know it. Maybe I can sleep this stress away like usual. But I just hope I have more time to talk to my friends. These last two months mean so much more than they'll ever know. Not having them around is one of the hardest things especially with everything that has happened and everything that is going on lately. I need them right now. This entire time I'm thinking about the song lyrics "Tonight we are young." Good night world & have a terrific Thursday :]]]]]]]]]

Oh man.

For some reason I keep thinking about that day. March 9, 2012 to be exact. I was in the lounge waiting for Oksana so we could go to Target. I was sitting with Angelica S, Alicia, and Wesley. I was talking to Wesley about colleges and what not. He asked me about financial aid or cost of attendance which led to the question what do my parents do? That moment right there I wasn't even thinking. It didn't strike me as off and right after I answered him, I realized it. The problem. I told him, but I said it fast so I don't think he heard it, but I told him. Just like an open book, I had nothing to hide. But I did. I didn't realize what I was telling him. It just didn't occur to me that he didn't know until after I said it. He probably doesn't know it, but I was just shocked. So for some odd reason, I keep thinking back to that moment on that day. It's like it mocks me in a way. That everything has changed and sometimes it hurts, but not often like before. It's hard to believe that it happened. I find it hard to accept and it still hasn't fully sunken in yet. We drive by  sometimes and it's hard for me. I know it happened, but I don't know, a part of me just holds onto the past. A part of me isn't willing to let go...

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.

FMLLLLL. This would happen to me >.< The weekend thing is full D: I just checked a while ago and fsklaafjdjkdkoekw whyyyyy. I'm gonna call tomorrow but seriously I'm so bummed right now. This makes me feel like its not meant to be :(( Killed my good day. Ahh, well at least someone tried making it better, but I'm still sad. Well I pray that we can at least spend the day there, but I was looking forward to this for 2 weeks. Sighhhhh. Why does this have to end like this? Nothing ever seems to work out for me...

Omg.

My dad is considering to let me go to the weekend thing :OOO Ahhhhhhh, I hope he says yes. My life would be made if he did. So nervous >.< I found the dress and got to see Sierra and her family for a little bit. It was a very good day I must admit. Yeeeee, let's just see how it goes from here. Hopefully it's not full. I dread that the most if my parents do say yes. Man PLL in 4 minutes. So nervous D:

Yippee.

Haha so tomorrow I get to bake a cake for the first time and make icing :D I'm so excited. I hope it goes well and tastes good. Not like I'm gonna eat it or anything. Just the icing to make sure it tastes right. I have a feeling the icing is going to be much harder to do. But we all learn from experience. So hopefully the first try is right xD Finished a lot of stats hw too. Just need English and Lit on Film which I will hopefully do when I get home tomorrow. I have Monday morning too. It's Spirit Week starting on Monday so it's time to get all dressed up and what not. Tomorrow is going to be the last weekend dance practice. Kinda sad, but it's always a fun experience. Not over dancing this time xD My legs are a little sore from yesterday but it's not as bad as the other time lol. Thank goodness. I think it'll be exciting to be in the Talent Show, but I'm nervous since it's going to be in front of the whole school at the Atherton. Even more nerve wrecking than the Tillie Lewis. Well tomorrow will either be a day filled with success, failure, or both. I'm aiming for the first one though. It was a good day though. Just tired even though I got like 9 hours of sleep. I'm only getting like 8 tonight but it could be worse. Wish me luck cause I know I'll mess up on something xD Good night world & have a fantastic Sunday :]]]]]]]]]]]]]

We're all caught up in the moment.

That's just how we are.

:D

Today was a pretty good day. This morning I went to the store with my mom and got the rest of the things I needed to make the icing. Went to school and hung out in the piano room until the Culture Club meeting. Then went to the lounge for awhile before going to the food court and park for free period. We played on the playground for a little bit until it started pouring. We went to the car and came back early. It was pretty boring waiting, so I ate. The Duck Song was funny. Waddle waddle xD Then went to TA and stayed for once. I mostly did sudoku the whole time after grading/recording papers. It was a blah day after coming back early from fp. However, during Avid we were looking for jobs and apartments at the city we want to live in for college. I was sitting next to Erin and she basically turned my day around. Even Mrs. G was laughing like crazy about Scary Gary xD Yeah definitely not using craigslist again lol. But it was good. Went to Kohls to look for a dress, but I didn't like any of them. Why is it so difficult to find a black dress >.> The one at Target was nice though, but expensive. Went home to get ready for the dance. I went late, but nothing even happened. It was fun though. I really enjoyed myself. They played good music like Glad You Came, We Are Young, and Tonight is the Night. There were many good songs compared to past dances. I had a blast. Still sad that it's the last dance of the year, not including prom. It's still hard to accept that it's almost over. I mean sometimes, a lot of the time, I forget that I'm a senior. It just totally slips my mind. Whats sad is that it just keeps on happening. We grow up, move on, and meet new people. It's always the same cycle over and over again. I just wish people could just stay or time could freeze. But I'll do my best to make sure that I stay in contact with people. I'm not going to let people disappear. Well today had it's turn of events. Oh and Mrs. G was singing Rolling in the Deep at the dance xD That I did not see coming haha. Well it's hecka late cause time flew by once again. Good night world & thanks to everyone for making today memorable :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

So tired.

7 hours of sleep >.> This is what I get for procrastinating...

FML.

Why me.

You know whats sad? I feel like I can't even express my true feelings on my own blog. Now thats depressing.

Good night world & have a great Friday :]

......

The day went pretty well. Valerie loved her gifts which made me happy. Ahh everyone's growing up so fast now. Time is really just flying by these days. The play was really interesting too. I felt like I could really relate to Natalie and Neo's parents. Natalie's parents pushed her to going/doing things she didn't want to do. Neo's parents worked to support their family. I could relate to both of the characters. I wish my classmates would realize that they should really do what they want and not what others want them to do. I've had this conversation with a friend several times, but it seems like he's not going to take advantage of the opportunites he has right in front of him. I wish he would though. He would be much happier doing what he wants. Hopefully he changes his mind though. But yeah that play probably relates to everyone in my class one way or another. It was a nice reminder of things I went through these past years. Well things I overcame and still struggle with. I bought most of the materials I need. I got the last pan at Michael's :D I got lucky with that. But it all went downhill from there. I finished my scholarship in time. However, I logged onto another site for another scholarship and the link was gone. Then I read two letters that just killed my whole day. This isn't the first time I received one of the letters, but it hurts even more reading it the second time. The other one didn't surprise me. I already got another rejection like 2 weeks ago. It's just that feeling of never being good enough. But thinking about being accepted to colleges makes me okay, sort of. I feel like getting scholarships are even harder than getting acceptances from colleges. The chances are probably similar, yet it's more difficult at the same time. Sad, sad life. I just feel like crying myself to sleep now...

If only.

That feeling when you know things have changed. It sucks cause I wish it didn't, but it did. Once you lose it, it's hard going back. I finished Valerie's cookies and hopefully she likes them. My hand is sore from decorating them too -__- I tend to grip the bag too tight. But as long as she likes it, it doesn't matter. Good night world :]

Lalala.

I'm so excited for tomorrows class after school :D I hope things go smoothly. If not, well I hope it's fun lol. I'm so sleepy already. It's good that I'm tired early so I can sleep more instead of staying up until 12 or 1AM xD I have bad habits sometimes. Well I'm hoping it's a good day. Gonna get my hour done in the piano room and I'm almost set for the week. Must work on Valerie's gift/card too before Wednesday. So much to do. Good night world & have a great week :]]]]]]

Thank you to my dad and mom.

Well yesterday was definitely a life changer. Spent time with family all day that I haven't see for a while. Yummy food too lol. Crazy Just Dance games. Lots of laughs. Learned new things. Finished stats homework for the week. It was a very good day. I also fixed my FAFSA. That was one of the better things that happened. But anyways, what really made my day was what my dad told me. He's actually WILLING to let me leave to SLO. Well my mom knows that that is where I want to go and my dad is slowly accepting it. He knows it's cheaper and it's a good school. He said that tuition shouldn't matter compared to the  education because that's way more important. That was just like wow. Cause he knows SLO is better than UOP. So the whole car ride home I'm just like "I can't believe this is happening." I was shocked that my dad is allowing me to do whats best for me. Even if it is expensive. Cheaper than UOP though, but man I couldn't believe it. All this time he was pushing for UOP, but now he realizes what I want. Now the next step is for him to allow me to go to the weekend thing :D But that conversation was just like omg. Finally. Thank you dad for finally letting go and letting me take control of my future. Thank you mom for supporting me in my choices. I really love you guys so much. You don't even know it.

"Tonight we are young so lets set the world on fire."

We Are Young~Fun

Finally got to see my cousin and uncle today. It's been a while so it was nice catching up. Get to spend the day over there tomorrow so I'm excited. Well it's late and I'm tired. I'm always sleepy around like 11-12ish now. That's a good sign xD Good night world :]]]]]]]]]]]

Giving up.

Man I just feel like giving up right now. I'm kinda tired of doing schoolwork and I just want a break for a while. I think Spirit Week will be my break, sort of. I also got into the Wilton class but I need to find many coupons because the class supplies are freaking expensive like crazy. But I'm beyond excited to start the class next week. YEEE :D Can't wait. The basketball game went pretty well but seniors lost against the freshmen. Mary and Dalia kept making comments about him whenever he got the ball -_____- Then he got suspicious of the poster. I can't do anything without people thinking I'm up to something, even though I am this time xD

=/

That moment when you wish that person would realize that you've been there all along.

I wish I wasn't so socially awkward.

But I am. I try to be more open, but it's not that easy. Today was a day well spent. Went to the mall to get Valerie her gift. I even got more headbands xD Hung out with Angelica and Oksana the whole time trying to find gifts that we needed to get people. We went in circles, but we eventually got our things lol. Went to the park during free period and got Subway afterwards. The weather was really nice too. Well I'm passing out now. And it's early :D Good night world :]]]]]]

Oh wow.

I just got a little teary watching the prom video haha. I'm such a dork.

WHY D:

So I went to Joann's today to sign up for the class and it's full. Whyyyy >.> This would happen to me too. I pray that when I call tomorrow, the lady will allow me to join. Cause if not, then I don't know what to do. The next class isn't until April 11th and I need to turn in the project on the 25th. FML. Michael's cancelled their class that was set for this month too. Hopefully I can get in tomorrow cause I really wanna do my final product on this. They also had no more posters. Just my luck.

Lalala.

Before I pass out, I just wanna blog real quick. Today I talked to Debora a lot about the future and it made me realize that I am ready to a certain extent. I just need to push myself to try harder and prepare for it. If I go into it with an open mind, it'll be better than worrying what could've been or would've been. I'm not even gonna lie, I got a little emotional just talking about it. I could feel the tears gathering up, but I wasn't going to let myself cry. Especially not at Burger King. But whenever I talk about leaving my family and everyone/everything I love behind, I just can't help it but get that feeling of wanting to cry. I may not show it, but I feel it. Every single time. It has happened so much too. Sigh, life is crazy, but I'm slowly accepting it. Just gotta think positive. Well my eye lids are giving up on me. Good night world & have an amazing Thursday!! :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

P.S. For a second I was going to put weekend but I realized it's not Saturday yet lol.

Oh weeee.

Omggg, today was great. Even though I woke up at 7:25 and we were suppose to leave at 7:30, I made it and so did my sister. Oh yes. Then I hung out at Debora's house for a while before we left. We headed to the flea market and got good parking too lol. We spent a few hours there and ran into Mrs. Hang and other people Debora knows. She got me these really good chip thingys, I don't know the names of it though xD We found the tool and lace for prom at very good prices too. Well we got them for a lower price, so sounds like a good deal to me lol. We wandered around a lot and I also got myself a headband. Debora got me a bracelet without me even knowing >.< I was sad the M&W Dutch American Bakery was closed. Felt bad going that far trying to find it to find out it was closed. It could've been worse though. So we went back to her house but the ride there and back was super fun. I love sightseeing, especially on the countryside. Very relaxing. Makes me forget everything thats bothering me. Sad when I saw like 2-3 cemeteries >.> But on a positive note, I had fun. We went to Burger King since I never had food from there before and it was yummy. So good lol. I was stuffed afterwards. We walked to Goodwill and CVS Pharmacy, but there was no restroom. Went back to Kohl's and hung out there for a while. She wanted to help me do my makeup even though I was reluctant. I still had fun even though I still think makeup is not for me lol. I'm a huge twitcher xD We went to pick up her brother afterwards and watched an episode of You're Beautiful. It was too cute/funny. The pig part was hilarious. After, we went to go pick up Kevin since they're filming for Acadec and she dropped me off at home. My mom thought Kevin was James and she was embarrassing me by asking all these questions about him to my sister. She also started talking more about prom. She still doesn't get the whole date thing or the concept in general. She'll come to learn xD I've been working on a scholarship since I got home though. Today still feels like a Saturday to me but I had hecka fun. I just needed a day away from all the craziness and spent it with someone who made it very memorable. It's one of those days I wish could happen more often but I enjoyed it while it lasted. Then I got a call from CalPoly about their weekend thing and I really hope I can go. It's during spring break so it's the perfect opportunity to see the campus and meet other admitted students. I need some time away from home just to see/feel what college life is really like. This is one of those one in a lifetime chances I really don't want to miss so I pray that I can go. I really do. Ahhh it was such a good day. Thank you Debora. I really needed a day to hang out, talk, and relax. I got more than I bargained for too :DDD Also the scholarship deadline has been extended so I'm even more like yesssss. But I must stay ahead on things cause time is going by fast. Overall, it has been a very good day :]

Yeee.

I'm like beyond excited to go to the flea market tomorrow. I haven't been to one since I was young, so this is going to be so much funnnnn :D Maybe I can get a few deals haha. I hardly shop so maybe not. We'll see xD Get to spend the day with Yummy :D This ought to be fun! I should be getting some sleep before I don't want to wake up tomorrow. Finally, a day with no stress, hopefully, and time to spend it with someone I care about and must talk to more often this semester. No need to worry about scholarships or deadlines. Well not in the morning anyways. But it's better than nothing. I honestly deserve a break, even if it's just for one day. Good night world & I'm so excited for this week :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Dang.

Got my letters from Pomona in the mail. Yeeee. Also eligible for a SLO scholarship. Woot woot. But the deadline is next Monday. I'm just like really >.> So I'll have to see if the counselor can write me a letter of rec by then but I don't know. It's really pushing it but hopefully I can get it mailed out on time and everything. Man, well my mom is pretty pissed that I keep talking to friends everyday. Fudge. Not good. I just want to sleep now. Good night world :]]]]]]]]]]]]

"i already got my wish :P"

I didn't expect that... Webcamming right now and it sure is funny. Ahh man tinychat+skype xD

Well... surprise surprise.

Today was something that's for sure. I didn't expect to be asked to prom. Debora and Angelica were acting a little weird, but I shrugged it off as nothing. Now I know why they were acting odd haha. Man my friends know how to surprise me xD All the guys were there too. I had a feeling something was up but I didn't want to think that so I let it go. If only I wasn't eating when he asked me haha. That was so awkward. I was trying to swallow my food and couldn't. Oh man, but I was surprised. It was a good day.

Oh man.

Today was a veryyyy wack day. I swear, something is wrong with my brain. I had so many typos and memory loss moments. I don't know what's wrong with me today. Ahh man. It was different that's for sure haha. I got almost all of my homework done. I finished stats for next week and english homework. All I need to do is government tomorrow and work on scholarships before they're due. I need to start on next weeks scholarships too >.> So much to do. Well it was a pretty good day. Good night world & have a lovely week :]]]]]]]]]]]]

Woot woot.

I finally got 10 hours of sleep. I'm content haha. I must sleep earlier this week.

Oh so tired, oh so tired.

Yeah it's time to sleep. I should start sleeping earlier from now. I know I keep on saying that but I'm just so sleepy all the time now >.< I finished the stats test and literature on film homework. All I need to do is english, government, scholarships, and next weeks stats homework and I'll be set. For now anyways. At least Wedneday we have no school. It's gonna throw off my entire week, watch. Get to go shopping Tuesday and Thursday for supplies and gifts. This is gonna be fun :D I can finally spend time with the girls and not have to worry about school. It seems like it's been forever. Can't wait :D And I'm most likely taking the Wilton Decorating Class so I'm even more excited. I really hope I'm not the only person who's gonna register for the class >.> That would suck cause apparently it happened to someone else. Hopefully it won't be over $100 for the class and supplies. We'll have to see. But ahhh, I can't wait. Still need to learn Gee cause I get confused when I try it. Good night world :]]]]]]]]]]]]]

When someone knows something you don't.

This is when you reply back asap so they aren't waiting and wondering xD

You have to draw the line somewhere.

Sometimes you can't keep on going with the way things currently are.

What secrets are you hiding?

Ahh I need to stop sleeping at 1:00 from now on. It's seriously jacking up my sleep schedule and I'm so tired >.< Yeah I need to sleep around 12 or earlier from now on. I hope college life won't be like this...

And I wonder...

A song came into my head. Games~Jonas Brothers Yeah I know, you're probably thinking like, wow really, the Jonas Brothers?!? Well their old music was pretty good. "Will you care When I'm gone And it's done And I've really had enough And I'm sorry For the trouble It's been costing us so much." Yeah, not sure why it came into my head, but thinking back to the old days is always good every now and then. I should spend the day listening to their music tomorrow. But yeah, the first time we met popped into my head too. Really random. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I swear, I only remember very few first encounterances. But I remember I wasn't sure if I should say "Hi, I'm Amy." I was nervous because I can be quite shy, especially in front of people I don't know. Everyone was introducing themselves so I was like I should too. I might as well and not be rude. And well I did haha. Oh Holt 245. Man Delta has so many memories for me. I'm gonna miss them all. I just wish sometimes time can just freeze. Even for a little bit. But I know life keeps going whether you want it to or not. And all I can think about these days is asking him. So nerve wrecking >.< Two weeks ago I would've never guessed that I was gonna ask someone so soon. Funny how things change sometimes. Well I'm just hoping to come up with the perfect plan and hopefully things will work out the way it should. No idea how timing will be spot on. Ahh, so much planning and stress. No wonder why guys don't want to ask haha. It's such a pain sometimes, but maybe it'll all pay off. Man my sleeping schedule is so messed up. I don't even know if I can sleep 10 hours a night now. Good night world & have a great weekend :]]]]]]]]]

Senior Bucket List (updated again)

1. Stargaze with someone or with a group of people :D

2. Say no to someone if it's a favor that I don't want to do.

3. Go to a concert.

4. Learn how to make a 3D Panda and firework origami.

5. Take 500 pictures with my camera for my Senior Album (Random number haha) I'm at 582/500.

6. Read 8 books of my choice (2/8 D:)

7. Do something really random or different.

8. Apply for 20 scholarships (something has to be academic lol) 10/20 done.

9. Buy someone a singing card :D & bake someone something

10. Make 7 bracelets on my list of bracelets I wanna make for myself (PacMan doesn't count)

11. *Pending*

12. Be with the people who make me happy and make endless memories :]

13. Match shirts with a guy.

14. Sing in the rain :D

15. Try 3 new places (restaurants or fast food) that I haven't been to.

 

I finished number 5 and 13 :D I can't show proof of number 5 but I have proof lol. And then 13 I didn't take a picture, but maybe if there's a next time. For number 6 I only read The Unwritten Rule and Something Like Fate. I'm currently reading Pride and Prejudice and I'm liking it so far. I must keep reading! Number 8, I went from 3 to 10 since December of last year. Woot woot, I did 7 already in 2 months. They were mostly done over the past few weeks though xD I'm planning number 9 for someone soon. Everytime it rains, I always remember 14 and then forget when I'm in the rain haha. So I've made improvements, but I still got like 9 left. I still don't know what to put for 11...

Ugh.

When something small causes a whole bunch of chaos... If I knew, I wouldn't have said anything.

...

Yeah some things weren't meant to be. I feel like this past week just changed everything. I wish it didn't, but I can tell. Things won't be the same. It's never gonna go back. Don't you hate hurting people's feelings, especially if it's unintentional?

When life sucks.

What else can you possibly do but keep on going? I swear, my mom and dad always gotta pull that one over me like it's my fault all the time. I thought we discussed it but they always have the need to bring it up. It makes me feel like I'm a terrible person. Maybe I am. I just don't know anymore. But it hurt pretty bad when my dad said that to me. It really just gets to me everytime. This is that time in my life where I feel like just keeping to myself about everything. I'm tired of bothering people with things that happen. I feel like crying right now. Just when you think things couldn't get worse right? Why do I feel this is only the beginning? When all you want is for someone to comfort you. I never have that cause it's always too late when people do. Oh life. I know things will change, but right now, I don't even want to think.

Sigh.

People keep on giving me mixed signals and I'm just so confused. One person says one thing and then changes their mind the next time. Why is everyone hiding something from me >.>

Oh man.

I just finished the 1200+ words essay. I can't believe I did that in like 2 hours and used everything based off of my knowledge. Man even if I don't win, I feel proud of myself. I'm really accomplishing a lot. Joyyyy :D Now time to knock out haha. Good night world :]

Hmmm.

Today has been some day. Didn't expect a lot to happen. Cal Grants totally killed my whole day this morning. I was just devastated in piano, but a friend was trying to cheer me up, and it worked. Definitely took my mind off of it. Better luck next year then. That's all I can hope for. But yeah, I should finish this scholarship. I got a long way to go tonight. Ahhh why me. This is what happens when I take on too many things at once >.> I feel like I just did something horrible without trying to. Gah, why does this gotta happen to me? Good night world & have a great week :]]]]]]]]