Letting go.

Sometimes, I wish my mom would realize that I'm no longer a kid anymore. I've grown up and she's taught me well these past years. She can't trust me enough to be free on my own. I'll always be her baby, but she's always afraid of letting me go. I'll never spread my wings and fly if she doesn't give me the chance to. I'm always under house arrest and whenever I do what she wants, it's never enough. I go to work, I'm learning to cook, and I do whatever she asks me to, but I can never please her enough. There'll always be another excuse or reason to not let me out. I just want to spend time with my friends before we all go back to school. My dad is more willing and knows that he raised me well. He knows I'll take care of myself and I'll have people with me along the way. He doesn't set many rules on me because he trusts me. He wants me to get out and not be stuck at home all the time. Truth is, he's always out with his friends practically every day when he isn't working, so he knows what I go through. My mom goes out with her friends every now and then, but definitely not as much as my dad. I guess she's not willing to let me go, but she has to. I can no longer feel like I'm stuck all the time. Yes, she does everything for me and pays for my expenses, but I only ask for more freedom and trust. I'm forever grateful for my parents and everything that they have done for me. In college, my mom doesn't restrict me at all. But once I'm home, it's like everything changes. Maybe she does trust me, and it could be strangers she can't trust. Maybe she's afraid something will happen to me. If something ever does, it was NEVER her fault in the first place. She has to know that. I hope that nothing ever happens, but I'm just putting it out there. She can't protect me from everything, and I think that's the reason she can't let me go. It's just what mothers do and how they show they care. Mom, I'll always be here for you no matter how far I go. I'll always come back and be by your side, but every now and then, I need some space too. I need to explore and see the world. I hope that someday you'll understand all this. I will talk with you soon. Maybe even before I leave since I still plan on going out two more times, but I need to have that talk with her. I need to tell her that I'm growing up and she can't protect me from every dangerous thing in the world. There's a time to let go, and that time is now.