SLO Bucket List.

I am procrastinating, so I decided to make a list of things I want to do before I graduate. Hopefully I can accomplish them all! :)

1. Make it to Dean's List

2. Hike the P or Bishop's

3. Farmer's Market

4. Architecture Graveyard

5. Go to a sports game
6. Couch-to-5k
7. Serenity Swing
8. Tri-tip sandwich at Firestone's

Someone new.

I'm ready to meet someone new. Someone who will make me change my ways. Someone who can show me a new perspective on life that I have yet to see.

Sophomore Year.

It's already been 2 days and I'm officially done with school aha. Like there's so much reading already and I'm like why. Lots of APO events since it's Rush Week too, so that's why I've been so packed. No free days! At least next week will be calm. I need to get used to my classes and walking the long distances. On a brighter note, I decorated my room and I love it! I still have some bare walls, but I have yet to decide what to do. 

Summer To Do List 2013 (3).

1. Color Run

2. Camping

3. Bowling

4. Fishing

5. City of Bones Movie

6. Grape Festival

7. Musical Day
8. Watch the sunset or sunrise

9. Photo shoot with friends
10. Hang out with the girls
11. Hang out with Jade
12. Eat with Kenneth
13. Lollicup
14. Chipotle
15. Baskin Robbins
16. Wingstop
17. Pho
18. Starbucks
19. Formal Dinner
20. Caltrans Lunch

While I didn't get to go Fishing, Grape Festival, or watch the sunset or sunrise, I got to spend time with family, go to San Francisco, and I stared at the sun a lot aha. It's been a great summer :]

Summer Bucket List 2013 (2).

1. Get my license.

Aw yeah, I finally got my license in the mail today :)

2. Make hair bows.

I didn't have time to do this :/

3. Learn how to cook many, many dishes and sow.

I learned how to cook a few dishes, but I didn't sow at all. 

4. Work out/eat healthier.

I sure didn't do this besides doing the Color Run. So ready to go to the Rec Center again.

5. Read more books.

I've read 28 books this summer and 9757 pages. I'm so happy I had time to read again because it really showed me how much I missed it, considering how many books I read. Hopefully I can make time to read back at school.

6. Watch Chinese dramas/movies.

I watched two episodes of an actual Chinese drama when I spent the night at my grandma's house. I also watched a few more on Wednesday too. Wish I had time to watch more, but I didn't even watch any new dramas besides that one.

7. Spend more time with family and friends.

I spent a lot of time with family and friends this summer! Probably a lot more with friends, but it was still way better than nothing.
8. Take more pictures and work on my photo albums.

I've definitely taken a lot of pictures. I haven't been able to work on my albums since my mom isn't willing to let me develop so many pictures anymore, so I'll just save the ones I really want to keep and develop them later.

I did half of these things, but I still feel somewhat accomplished! :]

Last day in the city.

Well it's finally time to head back to school. I packed most of my stuff. We just need to load the car, and I need to get a few more things in the morning. Can't believe it's already move-in day tomorrow! I'm already a sophomore :D Crazy how fast time flew by and summer is almost over. I got to hang out with friends today before I head back. Most of us are leaving this weekend. We went bowling and I got 99 :/ I was kinda bummed since I didn't hit triple digits, but close enough! Hopefully, I can bowl more once I'm back in school. Then we went to Flip's and I was so full since I ordered a burger and Fried Oreos. I didn't even finish all my food, but it was a fun day. Nice seeing everyone before going back. Here's to year 2 :)

Olive Garden.

Yesterday was the last time I got to see Sierra and Maryann before heading back to school. We went out for Olive Garden because my sister really wanted their bread sticks. I ordered the Chicken Scampi which was amazing! So glad I decided to try something new because that was so satisfying. Well worth $17. I wish I could eat more. I should attempt to make this sometime throughout the year aha. The waitress accidentally knocked over my water which spilled on my dress, but thankfully it didn't show up. I felt so bad for her! Sierra was saying how in the first grade, the 4 Andrew's and 3 Aaron's were all in the same class which made me laugh like crazy. I was crying so much from that! I've never laughed and cried so hard in my life before. It was definitely a moment to remember. Wish we could have spent more time together, but I wanted to come home and pack, which I didn't do. I ended up watching Hangover 3, which was my favorite of the 3 movies. I'm going to miss the girls so much, but only 3 more months until we can hang out again! :)

I left my ♥ in San Francisco.

Yesterday I went to Berkeley and San Francisco to hang out with friends. We got there around 10:30 and the entire ride there was super foggy. We went through Berkeley which was so pretty! I didn't expect the architecture at all, but the campus was lovely. I wish we got to spend more time there. We walked to Bart and I was excited since it was my first time riding it. I could see the new Bay Bridge in the distance, but I wish we went on it. It reminded me so much of the subway in NY, which I liked. Even though the day was planned out, no one had directions which wasted so much time. However, we did end up going places, which was fun. First we went to Sushirrito and Chipotle since some of us didn't want the sushi burrito. The bus barely left so we hung out at a shoe store for half an hour waiting for the bus to come. When the bus finally got there, it didn't even stop for us! The driver never looked at us and kept driving! We chased it for the block, but we already knew it was too late. We were going to take a random bus, but decided to go the mall and Union Square. We went to Daiso, Chocolatier Blue, and Forever 21. Then we went to Union Square to take pictures at the Hearts in San Francisco. After, we went to Westfield Mall and the girls wanted to watch Insidious 2, but I was so against it. There was no way I was going to pay $11.25 to watch a scary movie I didn't want to see. Luckily, the movie sold out so we took the Bart back to Berkeley. We stopped by at Purple Kow and I got the Purple Kow Iced Milk Drink with Boba which was amazing. It would've tasted so much better if there was less boba, but I loved it a lot more than I expected! We were going to having Italian for dinner, but the line was very long so we went to D'yar which had Mediterranean food. We went to another Daiso real quick and then Bernadette and Aman left. The rest of us went back to Kenia's apartment and talked about all sorts of things. It was nice hanging out with them since I haven't seen them all in so long. We met up with Felmer, who was giving me a ride back to my uncle's. They talked to him to make sure I was safe. I'm thankful for my friends who are always looking out for me :) We've been friends on Tumblr for about 3 years now and I'm glad I finally got the chance to meet him. We've been trying to meet up before, but it never worked out. I got to my uncle's and did whatever until my dad was ready to go. There was a note on the windshield saying someone wanted to buy his car, which was really random. The entire day was great, even though so many unexpected things happened. I hope to go back again next year to explore more around either city. There's still so much to see, but I'm so glad I got to go :]

Sigh.

So it turns out Aman isn't heading back home after going to SF tomorrow. I'm praying that my ride works out or I'm stuck taking the Bart. I hope it all works out though or I'm screwed.

Highlight of my day.

Today I found out that I had a potato shaped head when I was born. I wonder why my parents never told me. My sister had to bring it up in a conversation and that's when my mom told her the story. When they came home, my sister and parents then told me the story. Very interesting. Wish I heard more about my childhood and my parent's lives'. It was very funny though. It made me sad at first cause it's random, but it makes me somewhat special :D It was Diversity and Disability Awareness Day at work so people brought in food from their culture. There was SO MUCH FOOD! Omg I had enough to feed 3 people if I wanted to. I barely ate like 1/3 of the food I got. I wish I didn't get so much since someone else could have eaten it. Either way, it was very tasty and thanks to my uncle who bought me the ticket! Can't believe tomorrow is already my last day. Caltrans has a special place in my heart after this summer and I hope to be back!  I also have to retake my DMV license picture. No idea why. I've been waiting 3 weeks for it to come and then I got the letter about a retake today. I wanted to have it before I go to school, but now I need to wait another 3 weeks. Maybe this is my last chance to finally get a picture! Let's hope so. Thanks to my mom and dad for letting me go on Saturday too <3 Good night world & enjoy your Friday! :]

Letting go.

Sometimes, I wish my mom would realize that I'm no longer a kid anymore. I've grown up and she's taught me well these past years. She can't trust me enough to be free on my own. I'll always be her baby, but she's always afraid of letting me go. I'll never spread my wings and fly if she doesn't give me the chance to. I'm always under house arrest and whenever I do what she wants, it's never enough. I go to work, I'm learning to cook, and I do whatever she asks me to, but I can never please her enough. There'll always be another excuse or reason to not let me out. I just want to spend time with my friends before we all go back to school. My dad is more willing and knows that he raised me well. He knows I'll take care of myself and I'll have people with me along the way. He doesn't set many rules on me because he trusts me. He wants me to get out and not be stuck at home all the time. Truth is, he's always out with his friends practically every day when he isn't working, so he knows what I go through. My mom goes out with her friends every now and then, but definitely not as much as my dad. I guess she's not willing to let me go, but she has to. I can no longer feel like I'm stuck all the time. Yes, she does everything for me and pays for my expenses, but I only ask for more freedom and trust. I'm forever grateful for my parents and everything that they have done for me. In college, my mom doesn't restrict me at all. But once I'm home, it's like everything changes. Maybe she does trust me, and it could be strangers she can't trust. Maybe she's afraid something will happen to me. If something ever does, it was NEVER her fault in the first place. She has to know that. I hope that nothing ever happens, but I'm just putting it out there. She can't protect me from everything, and I think that's the reason she can't let me go. It's just what mothers do and how they show they care. Mom, I'll always be here for you no matter how far I go. I'll always come back and be by your side, but every now and then, I need some space too. I need to explore and see the world. I hope that someday you'll understand all this. I will talk with you soon. Maybe even before I leave since I still plan on going out two more times, but I need to have that talk with her. I need to tell her that I'm growing up and she can't protect me from every dangerous thing in the world. There's a time to let go, and that time is now. 

Happy Birthday Jade! :D

I can't believe we've known each other for 4 years already. It feels like it was just yesterday we were back in high school and I was signing letters as Penpal #139. It's crazy how fast time has gone by. I wish we had more chances to hang out when we went to school together. We barely really hung out for the first time yesterday. Occasionally, we would see each other at school, give each other gifts, etc., but it was nice sitting down and talking about life. I wish I had more to say, but we talked for quite a bit. Glad things are going well for you and hope you're enjoying college. Spend your day as much as you can and hope to see you in December! :]

Caltrans District 10.

3 more days. Volunteering at Caltrans this summer has really opened my eyes to the opportunities within Civil Engineering. I didn't expect to learn how to use Microstation, work on projects, meet so many incredible people, and much more. This summer has been unforgettable and I know for sure that I want to continue with this major. I’m glad I got the chance to volunteer because I found a career that I’d love to spend the rest of my life doing. I’m going to miss everyone, the random conversations, and luncheons. Thank you Design Branch I and other employees at Caltrans District 10, especially my uncle for helping get this far and Nomer for allowing me to volunteer. Until next time.

Truth.

You'll never be younger and you haven't been older than you are right now.

The Proposal.

Oh man, I just finished The Proposal earlier, and it was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing during most of the movie. I'm glad I finally decided to watch it too. Wasn't really up for an action movie and wanted some comedy. I got a lot more than I expected. I loved the dance scene, which made me laugh like crazy too. Such a great movie and a good way to end a Sunday. Good night world & have a great week :]

"Life's simple. You make choices and you don't look back."

-Han, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Clarity.

It's been a while and I finally think I'm coming around. I don't feel the same anymore. Of course, I might just feel like this for the time being, but it feels good to know that I don't really care anymore. That I don't feel like I once did towards you. I want to be independent for a while to find out what I want. Truth is, I may never know what I want, but I need to find myself before committing to someone else. I guess we'll see what happens :]

It's actually 1AM this time.

My latest post was something I was thinking of yesterday, but I already turned off my laptop so I posted it in the afternoon. As of now, I feel so content with life. I went from wanting a break from everything to everything is okay in a day. I mean, life's no fun when you're sad right? I feel like I have a clear head after yesterday though. Like I have answers I didn't before. So I'm glad that I went through all that, no matter how bad of a mood I was in. I found a cover of Power Trip (Remix)~Fung Bros ft. Priska after watching some FungBrosComedy videos. Let me just say, this remix is perfect and their other videos are hilarious. I'm going to be stuck on this song for a few days, I already know. Good night world & enjoy your Sunday! :]

1AM thoughts.

All I wanted was a second of your time. For someone to talk to me. For someone to hear me out. Yet, I can't even have that. A friend who said to talk to them whenever I needed them, but now they're too busy. Nice to know where I stand though. Some things aren't worth losing sleep over. Glad I finally know that now. You're nothing but a constant disappointment.

Digging deep and getting personal.

I'm tired is what I constantly tell myself. I wake up tired in the morning because I didn't enough sleep. I stay up late at night and I'm tired, but I don't go to sleep. The truth is, I don't even know why I don't sleep. Half, more like majority of the time, I'm not doing anything important. There really is no reason for me to not sleep, but I guess old habits die hard. I'm always lying to myself and I know that. Truth is, I'm kind of tired of everything. The more I think about it, the more I realize that life can be plain boring at times. And I know people will say to seize the moment or live it up, but I don't want to do that either. Because in that specific moment, nothing I do will change how I feel. There's nothing I could possibly do that would change it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wish I could go back to doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Not having to worry about all these things in life like school, work, and my future. It's just so much to take in that I'm tired of thinking about it. It's hard not to since I go to work everyday, school is about to start in 2 weeks, and everyone is bringing it up at least once a day. It's a lot to take on. I'm young and still trying to figure myself out. Yet, I'm expected to know what I want, what I want to do forever, and I don't know how to handle it. Sure it doesn't feel like much in the moment, but thinking about it makes you realize how serious it is. I wish I could have a break and not worry about all this, but that's impossible. I'm living it everyday of my life. It's always being brought up. I'd like to not worry about life for just a moment. To forget about life in general. Relaxing and being at peace feels like it's so rare these days that it's disappointing to think about. What I long for is something I know I can't have, and that's alright. I've already made it this far, and I know there's more coming. I'm just going to take it head on and keep going. It's not like I have much of a choice, but things get better. Life has it's ups and downs right? Don't mean to rain on your parade, but don't worry about me. I may sound depressed, but all of this is the sad truth. If you don't hear it from me, you'll probably hear it from someone else. As each day goes on, I'm more aware that life is definitely not all rainbows and butterflies. I can pretend to live in my fantasy as much as I want, but that sure won't change a single thing of what's really going on in the world around me. Sorry to kill your mood if I did, but I'm not sorry for being real. It's hard to accept, but who ever said that the truth was easy?

Flipping for Flips.

I went to have lunch at Flips with Kenneth today to just catch up and hang out. I hardly see him so it was a lot of fun. I wish we could hang out more often though. I got the cheeseburger which was pretty good. Kinda small, but I still liked it regardless. I devoured that in like 5 minutes though xD I was pretty hungry by that time. Then Kenneth ordered some Fried Oreos, and let me say I LOVE it! It's like a pizookie, but tastes different. Anyways, I've been missing out on that for the longest time. So glad he ordered it because I found a new favorite dessert! Today was definitely a day well spent :)

"To love is to destroy."

Never give someone the upper hand. You don't know when things will turn around or when you'll get stabbed in the back. It's so hard to trust people. To tell someone everything and the next day, they're gone. You can wish all you want, but you know that you're the only one left. The truth hurts and so does the pain of not being good enough. As Cassandra Clare writes in the City of Bones, "That to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed."

Today.

I finally got to see City of Bones in theaters and I was disappointed. They changed so much of the movie which ruined majority of it for me. I wish they didn't make so many changes and switched over half of the movie. It totally didn't do the book any justice at all. I honestly have no idea where they're going with the second one. I wish it could be closer to the book, but it wasn't. The problems with books becoming movies. It was an alright movie, but the similarities weren't there. The Silent Brothers and the architecture were spot on. Some of the characters were what I imagined, but others were so off. I wish they did a better job because the book and movie are two totally different things. Still sad how it came out though. It was fun hanging out with Angelica and Oksana though. After the movie, we went to Oksana's and watched Rent. It's the first legit musical I've seen, but we didn't have time to finish the whole thing. Hopefully we can another time, but I did like it. It was a great weekend and back to work tomorrow. Good night world :]

Summer To Do List 2013 (2).

1. Color Run

2. Camping

3. Bowling

4. Fishing

5. City of Bones Movie

6. Grape Festival

7. Musical Day
8. Watch the sunset or sunrise

9. Photo shoot with friends
10. Hang out with the girls
11. Hang out with Jade
12. Eat with Kenneth
13. Lollicup
14. Chipotle
15. Baskin Robbins
16. Wingstop
17. Pho
18. Starbucks
19. Formal Dinner
20. Caltrans Lunch

I have 3 more weeks of break left and just a few more things I want to do still. Hopefully I can get to cross everything off :)

"Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie."

Almost Is Never Enough~Ariana Grande ft. Nathan Sykes
These lyrics hit home pretty hard. Love sucks sometimes, but it's a beautiful thing. 

I'd like to say we gave it a try

I'd like to blame it all on life

Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie

And we can deny it as much as we want

But in time our feelings will show

'Cause sooner or later

We'll wonder why we gave up

The truth is everyone knows

Almost, almost is never enough

So close to being in love

If I would have known that you wanted me

The way I wanted you

Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart

But right here in each others arms

Here we almost, we almost knew what love was

But almost is never enough

Labor Day weekend.

This has been an eventful weekend so far :) On Friday, I got to hang out with some friends at Chipotle and the mall. I haven't seen Mary since she's been gone for a while and haven't seen Brittany since last May! Jessi and Oksana were there too and it was nice catching up. I went to my uncle's house on Saturday to celebrate my grandma's birthday. We went shopping at the Great Mall and had a BBQ. I was so happy I got to see my cousin since I don't see her much now. I might see her again in two weeks! I hope I can before I head back. We haven't stayed over since they moved. Today I went out with my family to Costco and my grandma's house. My uncle and cousin from LA came down for the weekend. I see them like once a year, if even, so it was nice catching up for an hour or so. I never knew realized awkward my cousin was. He's not super awkward, but just a little. Tomorrow, I plan on going to the movies to see City of Bones finally! I've been waiting months, and I mean like 3+ months for this! I'm super excited :D I hope I don't get disappointed because I've heard mixed reviews. I'm sure it's not as good as the book, but it can't be that bad right? (Hopefully). I'd be super happy if they played Almost Is Never Enough :) Then we might go watch a musical at Oksana's House. We'll see what happens, but I can't wait to spend time with my friends. Two more weeks at Caltrans and I'll be leaving. How time flies by so fast these days. Good night world & hope you're all enjoying your Labor Day weekend! :]