I wonder.

Is it possible to love someone and hate them just as much as you love them?

WOOT WOOT! :D

I'M OFFICIALLY LICENSED! Well since yesterday, but I forgot to blog about it. Sorry for the delay! I haven't imported the picture from my phone yet, but I will as soon as possible. I missed 7 which were all traffic checks. I didn't know you had to check every single intersection you drove past or stopped at. I still did quite well! I thought I got marked for speeding when I purposely drove very slow. However at one point I went like 28 in a school zone. I freaked out quite a bit thinking I was stopping too hard or was wayyy too close to the car in front of me. But my grader, I guess I'll call him that, was a nice guy. When he first got in the car after doing the pre-drive test, he told me to drive safe, be careful, don't get into any accidents, don't be nervous, etc. It was very calming and even though I was nervous (I couldn't help it), I made it! I'm happy :) Even though I won't be driving alone until next summer, I'm proud of myself. Yes, I do speed a bit now, but I'll try my best to be a safe driver (I am a little reckless, I will admit). Just think good thoughts and trust in yourself. Thank you to my friends and whoever reads my blog, for wishing me luck and believing in me. It's you guys who boost my confidence and help me when I need you all the most. Thank you! <3 I took one of the Microstation classes today and it was very insightful. I learned many shortcuts that will definitely help me now that I know faster ways to do things. The teacher was kind of awkward talking to me, but nonetheless the concepts were clear and he made jokes every now and then. This week will go by quick, but I'm looking forward to this entire weekend! So much planned and hopefully they end up working out. Good night world & remember that all you need to do is believe in yourself :]

Dun dun dun dun.

Man I can't believe tomorrow is the big day already. I'm finally taking my behind the wheel test after such a long time. I think that I've practiced enough, but I'll find out tomorrow. I hope I get someone nice and praying it isn't awkward. No yellow lights while I approach the intersection would make my life great tomorrow. Well so would passing my test. I just need to remember to accelerate and stop smoother and slower, be cautious of my surroundings and the speed limit, and to stay calm! I know I can make the right decisions and I hope that a few months of driving will finally pay off. And if I don't pass, then I haven't practiced enough or I was careless. Praying for the best right now and that I do pass. Thinking good thoughts! Good night world & wish me luck because I'll need it! :]

Sometimes you have to get through all the bad stuff before you get to the good.

It's been a crazy week. Things went from terrible to amazing in a matter of days. It's interesting how fast feelings can change. I just need to remember that it takes some bad moments before getting to the good ones. I barely finished RIPD right now and it was an alright movie. I watched Now You See Me yesterday which was super good! It was wayyy better than I expected. I've recently really enjoyed watching movies without knowing the plots or watching the trailers first because you get more into it that way. Well I do if it's a good movie, and it sure was! I'd recommend it to everyone and anyone. I'm definitely looking forward to the sequel even though it probably won't be out for another 2 years. Well I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far. My behind the wheel test is on Monday and I'm so nervous for it already. 4 weeks took a while to come around, but now it's here. Mann I'm really freaking out, but I'll try my best not to during the test. Good night world & enjoy your Sunday (or whichever day it is for you) :]

I love you guys!

This is the happiest I've felt in a very, very long time. Thank you guys for always making my life better! We went to BJ's for dinner and I got a Bacon Cheeseburger which was amazing. That probably wasn't the name on the menu, but it was along those lines. Then I also got a mini pizookie which was AMAZING. I've only had it once several years ago, so it was delicious once again. Then we went to go have our mini photo shoot and these were some of my favorite photos! They look so legit even though my sister took them. Thanks a lot to her too for spending the whole evening with us, following us around. I wish the night would last forever, but for the time we did get to spend together, I'm already forever grateful. See you guys soon and best of luck in college :]

Finally.

I have to say it's been a pretty rough week. I wish things could be alright, but in time they will be. I'm so excited for tomorrow. I feel like I've been looking forward to this day for weeks. Literally, it's been like 3-4 weeks aha. But yeah, at least I'll be with great company and it'll take my mind off things, even if it's just for a while.

Yeah.

It's been a very long day. Just glad it's over now.

Cruise.

This weekend I got to drive more around the city. Finally doing parallel parking and it's just as difficult as I expected it to be. I knew it was going to be tough and it sure is. Driving gets easier each day though. I just hope I remember to stay calm, follow the speed limit, and turn on my blinker during my behind the wheel test. I can't believe it's already next Monday. Time sure flew by these past few weeks. I hope I'm well prepared, but I feel like I am. I'm hoping that I've practiced enough as well. Good night world & have a great week :]

Exhausted.

After playing tennis with James today, I'm so tired. I'm sore already since the racket was so heavy and I'm out of shape. It felt good to finally work out for once. I can't wait to go back to school so I can go to the Rec Center. I'm so going to go more often now that I have the time next quarter. I'm ready to go back to school already. I never thought I'd say this but summer, fly by faster please.

Pho realz.

I got to hang out with some friends today :) I've been long craving Pho for a while so what better way than to eat with friends, which is what I always do aha. That was such a large bowl, which I sure wasn't expecting. Definitely great for the price though. I haven't seen Kevin for over a month since he had summer school but I'm glad he's back. However, Angelica starts school soon but good thing she'll be here. I was at the restaurant today for about 3 hours. I waited for 25 minutes and then ordered an hour later since Angelica said she could come last minute, which made me happy since she couldn't come last time. We talked for hours over the most randomest things. Wisdom teeth, hilarious stories (many of these), children, school, and so much more. I can't even begin to say how much I laughed tonight. I really needed some good company and that's exactly what I got. Something to take my mind off all the stress lately. I'm so thankful for my friends to always know how to make my days better without even trying. Having their presence is all that I need :]

I'm done.

I honestly don't care anymore. I don't want to care anymore. I'm over it. All of it. This bullshit. I'm just done. Don't even bother trying anymore.

Drawing the line.

I wish you didn't have this spell over me. My feelings for you are something I wish to no longer have. I've waited a long time to finally say this and mean it. Maybe it's a fluke again, but I'm done feeling like a second choice and left behind. I no longer want to know what you're doing all the time or how you're better off without me. Because honestly, I maybe better off without you as well. I know I can be better off. This attachment to you is something I need to and will let go. I can't hold onto someone I never had, someone I will never have. It's time to get my head out of the gutter and realize that you'll never be what I want. You'll never be there for me as much as I'd like. You'll never return the amount of attention I give you, but that's okay. It comes to show that you won't ever care as much and I needed to realize that eventually. The sooner the better. All those nights I stayed up, were only to talk to you. I wanted to spend as much time talking to you about anything because talking to you made my day. I lost so much sleep over you and you'll never realize that. You don't realize how much effort I put into our friendship. How much I care about you. And this is where I draw the line. I can't take the pain anymore because it's time to finally let go. I'll never get closure because that's not what I need. What I need is to let go of those feelings once and for all. So the next time I see you, maybe all those feelings will come rushing back again. Or maybe they will finally no longer be there. But either way, today is the day I will no longer let my feelings control my thoughts. My heart is hurting me more than it is healing. It took me so long to realize all of this. You aren't even to blame for this. I let my heart take over for once and it's just too much for me to handle. Tomorrow will be a new day. I hope the feelings don't come back, but I've learned my lesson. You have to listen to yourself and be strong. Don't let your feelings confuse your judgement. That is something I need to remember.

Summer To Do List 2013.

This to do list is more of hanging out with friends and going to places. As you can see, I eat a lot xD

1. Color Run

2. Camping

3. Bowling

4. Fishing

5. City of Bones Movie

6. Grape Festival

7. Musical Day
8. Watch the sunset or sunrise

9. Photo shoot with friends
10. Hang out with the girls
11. Hang out with Jade
12. Eat with Kenneth
13. Lollicup
14. Chipotle
15. Baskin Robbins
16. Wingstop
17. Pho
18. Starbucks
19. Formal Dinner
20. Caltrans Lunch

Camping.

This past weekend we went on a family camping trip and it was nice to feel like I was on vacation, even if it was only 2 days. I'm happy I finally got to spend more time with my family and enjoy nature. We got to Lake McSwain during lunch time and I sat around for an hour or so after lunch before going paddle boating with my sister. We hung out, rode bikes, played board games and cards, walking and stargazing, etc. There was so much to do but it was nice to relax. However the showers were freezing and didn't have much water, but I survived. I got to see 3 shooting stars too! The night sky is stunning there. It was like looking at a picture on Google Images but I was in awe. I wish I could see that every night. I truly appreciate nature a lot more after being out there. I'm thankful for the family bonding as well since we haven't all spent time together in a while. This was a well deserved break for me and I'm glad I had so much fun. Can't wait until next year :)

Oh yeah.

I got to hang out with Devora and Oksana yesterday after a long time. We went out for Wingstop and Baskin Robbins, and walked around in Target and Pet Smart. I'm so glad I could hang out with Devora before she left for school. I haven't seen Oksana for a longgg time as well. I haven't realized how fast time has gone by since I last spent time with them, which was about a month ago (even with Color Run). The more I spend time with my friends, the more I appreciate every minute that I can be around them. I know that it'll only get harder to see each other from here, so I'm trying to see them as much as I can now. Just have to live each day to it's fullest which is why I'm trying to spend time with people every week. This makes up a whole year without really seeing one another. I'm going camping tomorrow and I'm excited! Good night world & have a great Saturday :]

Paradise.

I went on a spontaneous adventure with Jennifer and Carey yesterday. Jennifer called me and asked to come over so I said sure, thinking we were going to hang out at my house. It turns out she wanted to go to the park or somewhere since it was a nice day outside. My mom actually let me :D so we drove past the parks, but she didn't want to hang out at any of them. We ended up going to the levee since none of us have been there before and I thought it'd be nice to explore since it was close by. Turns out it was like paradise down there. I mean it's not a beach or anything, but there were hardly any cars, an open road, and it was pretty nice. We spent an hour there taking pictures, goofing around, and enjoying the view. I failed at setting up the camera majority of the time :/ It was quite difficult with the rocks/strong winds. Half the time it wouldn't focus either, but I'd go there again to hang out. I wish I went on more random adventures like that. Now that is a great way to spend time with friends. Good night world & have a great weekend (if you count Friday too and work has been great!) :]

Color Run Sacramento.

Today was honestly everything I wanted and more. The Color Run was such a blast even if I will be sore and in pain for a few days. Hopefully not for too long though. I was happy to see my friends after so long though. It took Debora and I an hour to walk/run "majority" of it since Pan and Dalia was running more than we wanted to. I still had fun looking around Sacramento and getting all colorful along the way. People were very excited and hyped up. I loved how people sat outside their homes to watch, wave, and cheer on. The after party was what really got me all colorful. It was like being at a concert. If we didn't stay for 2 hours at the concert, I don't think my feet or legs would be hurting but I don't regret it. I had such a fun time although I wish I won a shirt or something. It's not a big deal since I bought a pair of sunglasses and I have the t-shirt and memories that will always be there. I really want to do other runs like this now. It was such a wonderful 

experience. I wish I didn't inhale so much powder because it was sure making me act weird earlier. I kept trying to plug my nose and not talk but it managed to get in my nose. I was watching 21 and Over and I couldn't stop laughing the entire movie. I loved it so freaking much. A lot more than I expected honestly. I wonder what you want to talk about though. I had such a blast today and I'm so glad I got the chance to go and have so much fun! You should definitely try something like it if you haven't. It's worth experiencing at least once in your life. Good night world & hopefully I can walk tomorrow :]

Forever grateful.

Sometimes, all you need are friends who will cheer you up when you're down and make you realize why you're lucky to be alive. I'm so thankful for the people who have always been there for me, helping me at my weakest moments. These are the moments worth living for. Thank you guys for giving me hope and guiding me through tough times. You guys really don't know how special you each are. Glad to say I have lifelong friends through the good and the bad. I love you guys so much <3 A new month means new beginnings! :]