Here we go.

Sorry I haven't been blogging as much! I'm really going to try to blog more often and hopefully once a day to reflect. I need to do that more often as a stress reliever and to think back about each day. I got my Little her gift and I hope she likes it. The socks she gave me are so soft! I can't wait to wear them. Life has been really hectic I have to say. Trying harder to study for the classes I'm not doing as well in. Hopefully I can drop chemistry and just focus on my other classes. I still have a chance (I think) so I need to work my butt off to stay off AP. I know I can do this. I just need to force myself or I'll continue to suffer, which I don't want. It's hard to get yourself together when everything is out of control, but you need to self-motivate until you can do it. Just got to pick yourself back up and know that things will get better. You will get better. I have a great support and I need to realize that I can do this and I will. I knew that things would be hard, but definitely not this hard. I won't give up. If I fail, I'll try again and hopefully learn from my mistakes. I just need to keep working at it and working hard. I need to keep my head focused on the prize. I need to keep telling myself that I can do this. We'll see what happens in a few weeks. I honestly just can't wait to see Devora (who is hopefully coming next week) and my family during the holidays. I feel terrible not keeping in touch anymore. I don't want to regret it so I'll call this weekend. I need to get my life back together, like how it was before. I need to take it slow and figure out what works for me. I can't be lazy anymore. I must change. I'm so glad I'm going to counseling or else I wouldn't have seen my advisor or started on physics homework. There's so much I have to be thankful for. I'll try to write things I'm thankful for each day at the end of my posts to remind me why I'm here and why I continue on. I'm thankful for my friends, family, and Cal Poly staff for supporting me and continuing to be there for me through my time of need. I just need to brush the dust off and keep on going. If you fall 7 times, you stand up 8. I'm not going to let this affect me anymore. I will change.