YTF.

Yesterday is in the past. Today you have a choice. Forever is up to you.

I hope for change but all I get is disappointment.

People say having a roommate can either be great or your worst nightmare. Honestly, I'm so over having a roommate right now. You have no idea. Treat people how you want to be treated is obviously not a rule here. Can't wait for these 3 months to go by fast. Don't know if I can do this any longer. I always feel like a victim of a sick game. Hopefully what goes around comes around.

Feelings suck.

Sometimes, they really do...

Just one of those days.

When everyone around you is talented and you start to wonder what you're good at.

Whatever.

I am so tired of this. Honestly, I don't even want to deal with it anymore. I'm so over it right now.

:]

From Jay calling me a Chinese yellow monkey to Oksana wanting to make a plushie of herself with catch phrases for me, I'm just so happy right now. Jay is just way too random and I miss Oksana and the other girls so much. You really don't know how much I wish one of my friends came here :/ But what can you do though. So now I sit here happy. I think Perks of Being a Wallflower has something to do with me being in such a good mood lately. I really love this book and I'm sad that I'm so close to finishing it. I understand why people love it so much. It changes the way you see things and I'm glad I learned so many things from it. I can't wait to see the movie. Hopefully over spring break. Thank you God for allowing me to know such wonderful people. I wouldn't want it any other way. I have several smiley faces as titles lately. Interesting.

Rough.

So this morning, I had the pleasure of almost getting hit by a car. Great way to start your morning. This is the 2nd time this happened except the first time, I wasn't paying attention, but this time I did. Then I almost got hit by a bike a few times. Pedestrians have the right of way... I guess when everyone is in a rush, no one bothers to really pay attention. Moral of this, wake up earlier so you can leave earlier to avoid people rushing.

Hah.

It's nice to know your "friends" true colors. It's easy to take a joke, but it's different when it's an actual problem. It's true when they say not to trust people. They make it so easy for you to wish you hadn't in the first place. I don't know why I even bother.

:]

I honestly don't know why I'm so calm right now. I think all the talking and listening to music made me like this. Just having a conversation with someone about anything and everything is nice. Maybe talking to you made me like this. I honestly don't know. After a long week, all I want is to feel calm and relaxed. Plus it's Saturday night and I don't have much to do tomorrow. It feels good to have things accomplished early. I wish I felt this way more often. Peaceful. Good night world & have a great week :]

Well.

I'm just going to accept the fact that I can't get over him. I keep trying but it's hard. Oh well, it's not too bad. After being hurt once, a second time won't be as bad or bad at all. I can't help the way I feel. We talked about so many things tonight from food to gaming to music. So many things. I wish it was like this more often. Thank you for making me happy when I need it or least expect it.

Yeah...

You'll never care about me as much as I'll care about you. It sucks that I miss you every day, but I don't have the guts to tell you. I never said it to you before, and I honestly don't know how you would react. Guys are so tricky. It just breaks my heart to say all this.

:)

It felt so nice to be home this past weekend! I got to spend time with my family and friends. I mean, what more could you ask for? I honestly can't wait for spring break now that's for sure! I watched movies with my sister. Ended up seeing The Social Network and Confessions of a Shopaholic. Yesterday on the way back to SLO, we stopped at Raley's or some store like it. I was looking at the disposable cameras when the worker asks me if I was buying cigarettes and I said no. Like really? I wasn't even looking at them at all because they were behind the counter while the cameras were at the bottom on the front side of the counter. So weird. Kind of glad to be back, just a little.

Leaving home...

Some may think that leaving gets easier the more you end up doing it, but to me, it just breaks my heart a little more each time. I love my family and hometown too much to let go so easily. College, why must you make things so difficult?

Gahhh.

What do you do when you're tired of someone's bullsh-t? I'm about done with dealing with this person.

新年快乐!

Happy Chinese/Vietnamese New Year! I wish everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous year. To the year of the snake! :]

New perspective.

I'm no longer going to take things that make me mad. I just can't do it anymore. No more favors that I don't want to do. No more helping people that I don't feel like helping. I won't always put people before me anymore. I need to put myself first from now on. I'm sorry, but this is my life, and I'm tired of being taken advantage of. If I can help myself, then so can you. I always get the short end even after working my butt off. But other people get it so easy without even trying. It isn't fair at all, so I'm putting myself before anyone else. I need to do what's right for me.

New things.

Now that practices are finally over, hopefully I have more time for myself to read and what not. I bought two books and I haven't even started them. Today has brought a lot of happiness. I really enjoyed the banquet and the support from everyone around me. I saw a butterfly on my way to the banquet and that's always a good sign to me. I never understood why, but whenever I see one, something good happens, and so many things went right today. Sad the 49ers lost, but I'm already looking forward to next season. Just glad I'm done and I can finally just relax (hopefully). I should be getting my midterm back tomorrow, and I'm so nervous for that. But yeah, things are looking good right now. I'm just enjoying it while it lasts. On a random note, I never thought I'd be the girl to want to make a move. So what happened was, I went to find Jessica to let her know I was there. The tech people for CPSLO ended up giving me and Sophia our mic's so I didn't go back to my seat with Keri and Cassie. I just waited until it was our turn to go on stage. They started the banquet with lots of performances and food. I didn't expect Atlanta to be serving food so we made a lot of small talk. He asked me about the play, when I would get Scramble with Friends, and all this other random stuff. I always run into him at CSA events. Then after the play was over, I was sitting down watching TOK when he showed up next to me. He sat on the floor and I kept telling him he should sit down when there was a chair right next to me. He eventually did and he showed me how I didn't go on WWF for 2 months or something. Then they started talking about the scholarship and he told me he applied. I told him there was a 3-4 page requirement which he didn't know about so he only did 1 page. Then the man started reading the essay and he asked me if that was mines. I told him I think it is because I honestly didn't remember and he started saying omg and telling everyone how it was me. I was so embarrassed because what if it wasn't mines. Eventually I knew the further he read and I couldn't believe it. It was surprising to me, but I wish we could have talked longer. I couldn't stop laughing or smiling the entire time and I needed that. Someone to talk to. So it was nice randomly running into him again. It's like we were meant to know each other with all the times we keep seeing each other. Earlier I chickened out from asking him to hang out since he was studying for a midterm. So yeah maybe I'll get the courage to ask him soon. We'll see. I never thought I'd be the one to do this as I said before. Like something I once read on Tumblr (I don't remember it word for word obviously) it only takes 10 seconds of courage and something else I don't remember haha. I'll try to find it later. Good night world & have a great week! :] 

Edit: I found the quote! I was close xD "Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of courage, and I promise you something great will come of it." ~We Bought a Zoo 

YEEE.

So the play went well even though I had butterflies in my stomach. I was nervous but it went well! I hope everyone enjoyed it and I know I'm not a good actress, but I did my best regardless what people have told me. I did for the people I love and myself. I'm proud because all of our hard work has paid off even if the ending music didn't turn out right. Stuff happen, but it went great and I'm happy. I was talking to Atlanta when they started naming the scholarship winners and I placed 3rd. Nelson got 2nd and Sophia got 1st, which were all people in the play (which was funny). Overall, I had a great day and I'm proud of everything that happened. Thank you guys for believing in me. Superbowl timeee! :]

Merde. (aka Break A Leg)

I looked up the term "break a leg" because two of my friends told me it and I just wanted to know the back story of it. I went to Wikipedia and I read this, "Professional dancers do not wish each other good luck by saying "break a leg"; instead they say "Merde!", the French word for "sh*t." I can not believe what I just read haha. My sister and friend now keep saying "Merde Amy" but not merde of course. Oh man it's nice to have a good laugh. Tomorrow is the big day. Thanks to everyone who has been encouraging me and wishing me luck! I won't let you guys down! And thank you Debora for trying to surprise me even though you can't. It's the thought that counts :) So here's to a great day tomorrow! All positive thoughts right now. Go 49ers! Superbowl to end the great day. I'll blog tomorrow and let you know how it all goes. Thanks for never giving up on me. It truly makes me feel loved. I love you guys too! Good night world & I'm blessed with the best :]